Knowing if a guy likes you can be just as hard in adulthood as it was in high school.
Especially if you’re already nervous whenever you see him and can’t think straight.
Some guys are straightforward about their intentions. They sneak into your DMs, flirt with you, ask you out, send you flowers, and so on.
Others are less straightforward — so much so that you might overlook their less obvious efforts to get your attention.
In that vein, here are 8 easy-to-ignore signs that a guy is secretly into you, according to psychology.
Stop trying to decipher his text messages for a minute and see if any of the following apply.
1) He seems nervous around you
You probably discovered at some point during your early years that you feel nervous around people you like.
You’re not alone.
If a guy goes from confident to shy whenever you’re around him, it’s probably because he finds you attractive.
According to psychology, this nervousness we show can boost our chances of getting our life partner.
At least the awkwardness isn’t without reason.
So, if you suspect that a guy is secretly into you, pay attention to his behavior.
If he’s nervous, there’s a good chance he’ll:
- Stutter or stumble over his words because he’s struggling to express his thoughts clearly
- Blush (how cute is that?)
- Talk a lot in an attempt to compensate for the nervousness
- Move around (tapping his feet, playing with his phone, etc.)
Does this sound like anyone you know?
Alternatively, if you’re dealing with a confident person, he might be exaggerating to make sure you’re both on the same page.
And that brings us to the next point on the list.
2) He mimics your body language
Two people who like each other will sit in the same position and mimic each other’s physical gestures.
This is called mirroring.
Mirroring is believed to enhance understanding, empathy, and a sense of connection between people.
You can tell if a guy is doing this by analyzing his body language.
Does he lean in when you lean in? Does he tilt his head when you do? Does he raise his eyebrows the way you do?
He may be trying to make you feel safe and create familiarity, which are signs that he’s interested.
The mirror isn’t limited to gestures either.
If a guy is secretly into you, he may adjust his speech to match yours and incorporate phrases or words that you use frequently into his speech.
The best news is that mirroring can facilitate communication and interaction between two people.
In other words, you’re on the right track.
3) He’s Trying to Impress You
Failed attempts by men to impress me in the past include:
- Showing me a magic trick (I hate magic)
- Buying me an expensive cocktail I didn’t want (it was gross)
- Bragging about his expensive phone (I don’t care)
- Talk about his extensive knowledge of craft beer (okay)
I know that men are usually well-meaning when they do this, so I like to keep an open mind.
(Except when it comes to charm. That’s where I draw the line.)
Like everyone, men sometimes seek validation from others, especially from someone they’re romantically interested in.
When a man tries to impress you, he’s doing it because he’s craving your approval and hoping to enjoy the positive attention he hopes you’ll send him.
He may feel compelled to demonstrate his competence, intelligence, sense of humor, or some other desirable trait to prove his worth as a partner.
In reality, communication is what he’s looking for.
Something to keep in mind.
4) He compliments you gently
A player will tell you directly how beautiful, amazing, angelic, and intelligent you are.
While a guy who secretly loves you won’t be so obvious about it.
He’ll still compliment you but in a more subtle way.
Sweet compliments allow him to gauge your reaction and assess whether you reciprocate before revealing his true intentions.
It’s an indirect way for him to express his attraction without explicitly stating his romantic interest.
What does that look like?
He might tell you that you’re fun, acknowledge your kindness, or talk about your accomplishments.
In short, he’ll focus less on your appearance and more on your personality.
Because he took the time to notice.
5) He remembers the little details about you
According to psychology, deep listening is the cornerstone of a strong relationship.
Not only that, when someone is attracted to someone else, they naturally become more interested in them and what they have to say.
This increased attention leads to more attentiveness and active listening.
Following this logic, if a man surprises you by remembering your birthday or a little thing you shared weeks ago, he’s likely into you.
Remembering the little details demonstrates a genuine desire to connect with you on a deeper level.
By noticing the little things, he shows that he values your thoughts, experiences, and individuality.
Plus, it allows him to personalize his interactions with you in a more meaningful way.
In short, he’s trying to win you over.
6) He teases you
Teasing is a way to show interest and affection.
Psychologists suggest that men are less expressive of their feelings, so they use a lighthearted joke or playful sarcasm as a way to communicate without having to process their feelings.
Teasing is a fun way to spark interaction. It adds excitement and suspense to your conversations.
Plus, it can be an effective test of your compatibility. If the teasing is strong, the potential relationship may be strong, too.
Here’s how a guy might tease you to show his interest:
- Mocks your quirks (without being rude)
- References past interactions in an attempt to spark inside jokes
- Jokes your opinions on certain topics in a lighthearted way
- Gives you nicknames, adding a touch of sweetness to the banter dynamic
Remember, banter is supposed to be light and fun. It comes from a good place, and there’s no malicious intent behind the remarks.
A guy who likes you won’t insult, disrespect, or belittle you.
Don’t confuse rudeness with affection.
Context, as always, is key.
7) Engage with you on social media
A guy who secretly likes you might use social media to stay in touch and show his interest.
He’ll engage with your stories, like your selfies, comment on your status updates, and add you on multiple platforms.
He’ll also share content he thinks resonates with you, to keep the conversation going.
There’s no science behind this, but he might also use more emojis when talking to you than average.
I’m not sure how to objectively assess this, but I’m throwing it out there.
I had to tell two exes to use emojis when chatting because I always thought they were mad at me.
Before that, their emoji use ranged from rare to nonexistent.
A smiley face or heart-shaped eyes speak volumes.
8) He offers to help
Finally, if a guy is secretly into you, he might offer to help you as a way to express his feelings subtly.
He wants to show that he’s attentive to your needs, even if it’s in small ways.
For example, he might offer to help you with practical tasks like moving furniture, fixing something around the house, or running errands.
Or he might offer you advice or guidance on things that matter to you, like career decisions or personal goals.
And if you’re having a hard time, he listens to you and tries to cheer you up.
He’s probably just being nice, sure.
Or maybe he’s into you.
Conclusion
If you suspect that your man secretly loves you, find more opportunities to spend time together, preferably away from prying eyes.
Suggest a non-dating date to assess your compatibility.
You could volunteer at the same community event, attend a concert by a band you both love or browse books at a library.
Alternatively, you could just “accidentally” bump into him at his favorite coffee shop.
Even fate needs a little push sometimes; if you know what I mean.
