Okay, let’s take a moment before I get to this. I know what you’re all thinking.
Yes, that’s the answer.
Narcissists do have friends.
Well, they’re as “friends” as a narcissist can be, but I’d say “pawns” are more accurate.
These people are in the lives of toxic people, and every single one of them will hear all about you.
Want to know what they’ll hear?
Well.
Because I’m here to tell you.
Truth?!
I know. It’s weird to imagine any truth when it comes to narcissists. They lie from the moment they wake up to the moment they go to sleep. If they could, they’d lie in their dreams too!
There’s a truth behind the lies, and that truth is how much a narcissist wants to protect themselves.
If they’re honest about you, it means they’re being nice, and dare I say it – vulnerable!
They don’t want to be seen as either of those things. All it will end up doing is revealing a weak side of themselves that they are trying so hard to prove doesn’t exist.
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So, what exactly do narcissists say about you to their friends (use the term “friend” loosely for me, please…)
1 Overpromotion
They won’t hesitate to promote you if need be, but it won’t be overly sentimental.
The practical aspects of your personality will be on the table, and the narcissist will celebrate it.
I finally found someone who can cook!
I don’t have to do anything—they’ve got it all figured out for me.
I’m living my best life.
I’ve made sure to find someone who looks cute on my arm.
They’re a firecracker in bed!
Overpromotion will be a compliment, but it’s not necessarily a compliment.
Related : 10 Dangerous Mistakes People Make When Leaving A Narcissist
What the narcissist wants is for it to seem like you’re there to do them a favor. And that removes—you guessed it—any emotion or connection.
2 Overdramatization
Just as the narcissist wants to overdramatize, they won’t think twice about throwing you under the bus.
Have any of you seen The Traitors? You’ll always see the traitorous coworkers hanging each other out to dry in the blink of an eye if it means saving their own skin! That’s what the narcissist will do.
They’re always running late, and it’s so annoying.
They’re so lazy. They never do anything around the house.
They just sit around and let me do everything.
It’s boring to be around them. They don’t light my fire anymore.
If you can blame them for something that takes away any negative focus, they’ll happily say whatever they need to say.
Sad, but true.
3 Intimacy
I find this one of the saddest truths, because intimacy is supposed to be between two people.
No one should talk about the intimate side of their personal life, especially a narcissist. They always do.
Oh my god, they will do anything I ask them to do.
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They love it when I’m in control.
It’s a good thing they’re great in bed.
I wish you could see how lucky I am.
Don’t even be surprised if they willingly let their friends see that beach vacation photo of you and brag that “you’re all theirs.”
It’s like they want extra points from their friends, and those points come from how well or poorly you perform.
A huge red flag.
4 You’re Lazy
If you’re lazy, the narcissist is the proactive one.
The one who gets everything done.
The one who pays the bills.
The capable one.
The only one who organizes and shops for groceries.
Life is hard being a narcissist, but if you’re going to hide the fact that you are, you need to prove to people that you’re hardworking, that you work for love.
Related : 7 Bizarre Ways Narcissists Act Around Pregnant Women
No wonder their friend was strangely quiet with you last week when you bumped into them…
5 You’re Obedient
They do what they’re told. That’s how it works.
Sure, I can spend the weekend playing golf. She wouldn’t mind. She doesn’t do anything outside of work anyway.
You see, these types of comments are common among narcissists. They’ll use your obedience as a useful tool for freedom for themselves.
No one promises a rose garden when they’re with a narcissist…
6 You’re Doing It Now
As if there’s always someone better coming along for the narcissist—and exactly how they try to make it seem like you’re worth more than you currently have.
What you’re doing now is the truth that narcissists will tell their friends. They don’t want to seem like they’re too invested in you.
God forbid they fall in love with someone, start a healthy relationship, and show affection!
You know you deserve more than that, which is why I’m here – to tell you!
7 They’ll Say Yes to Anything
Yes is a word you’re probably familiar with. You say it a lot because the bad mood the narcissist creates if you don’t is not worth it.
Saying yes doesn’t mean you’re an easy person, but unfortunately that’s how the narcissist will view you.
This almost becomes a bragging right to the narcissist.
They say yes to anything – it’s great!
Oh yeah, we can do that. You’ll be fine and say yes.
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Fixing your answer, before you have a chance to think, is a horrible truth that will be relayed to the narcissist’s friends.
8 They Work Overtime for You
All I do is work, work, work.
Day in and day out.
It never ends.
I work hard while they live the life of luxury.
If it weren’t me, they’d be in serious trouble.
I can’t take a vacation, I have a family and a partner to provide for.
It’s like no one else does.
We all work to provide for ourselves, right? Whether it’s for ourselves or our children.
We work and get what we need and want in life, but narcissists pretend to be slaves to their jobs, all in order to keep other people’s heads above water.
That’s not noble at all.
“Friends?”
I can’t get around this topic without mentioning some basics about friendship.
Narcissists don’t have friends. The closest thing they have to friends is allies. People they can rely on, use, or ask for favors from.
Related : 20 Affirmations For Narcissistic Abuse Survivors
If you weren’t aware, narcissists have a very hard time starting and maintaining real friendships.
There’s a certain element of vulnerability in these friendships. Being a real friend means being a good listener, and sometimes putting someone else before yourself.
Narcissists? Forget it!
