Sexual attraction is incredibly complicated. Try adding introversion to the equation, and the result is pretty messy, to say the least.
Let’s face it — introverts aren’t exactly great at expressing sexual or romantic interest, especially if they’re crushing on someone a lot.
I say this as someone who’s a huge introvert and has always struggled to make a difference with people I like. While I’ve found that practice makes perfect, it can still be pretty hard for other people to figure out whether or not you’re into them.
Luckily, I’ve solved your problem for you!
If you’re trying to figure out if an introvert is into you, all you have to do is look for these eight body language signs.
1) They Keep Looking When They Think You’re Not Looking
Introverts aren’t immune to the thrill of looking at someone they find attractive.
After all, sight is the most important of the five senses, so it makes sense that we’d want to stare at people we like — we’re just more subtle about it.
Or so we think anyway. It’s not that hard to spot an introvert looking at you if you pay attention. Just use your peripheral vision.
Of course, the common psychology tip is to pay attention to whether someone is holding eye contact a little longer than usual.
As Ronald E. Riggio, the Henry R. Kravis Professor of Leadership and Organizational Psychology, puts it, “Looking directly into someone’s eyes, and holding that mutual eye contact a little longer than usual, can signal flirtation and sexual interest.”
But here’s the problem: Introverts are often too shy, socially awkward, or anxious to hold eye contact long enough to signal interest.
More often than not, they’ll look away very quickly—only to look back at you a few seconds later.
In short, an introvert who’s very attracted to you will stare at you any chance they get, unless you’re returning the favor, in which case they may quickly avert their gaze.
2) They always end up sitting or standing near you
Sexual attraction breeds physical proximity.
When you find someone attractive, you’re likely to automatically be drawn to their presence, whether it’s sitting next to them, leaning in when they talk, gently touching their arm while laughing, or seeking them out in a group.
Introverts are no different, but again, they’re more subtle about it.
They may not immediately approach you in a room full of people, but they may slowly move through groups until they’re standing next to you.
They may not ask you out, but they’ll always find an excuse to work on the same project with you, be on the same team, or sit at the same table.
In other words, an introvert who finds you attractive wants to be near you, even if they’re just quietly listening to the conversation going on.
3) They Maintain an Open Posture
According to psychologist Diane Grand, an open posture consists of opening your palms, removing any objects between you and the other person, and placing your arms in a way that’s not crossed.
This type of posture is what nonverbal experts refer to as openness, which invites people in rather than pushing them away.
RELATED:9 subtle behaviors of someone who is highly attracted to you, according to psychology
Because many introverts have very weak social batteries (that is, they drain quickly), they may unconsciously adopt a closed posture when around people in a gesture of self-protection, withdrawal, or self-soothing.
If an introvert likes you, though…
That’s a different story.
He may have his arms crossed for others, but when he’s around you, his posture turns open because he wants to get to know you better.
And perhaps most importantly, he wants you to get to know him.
4) They Laugh More Than Normal
“A good sense of humor is sexually attractive because it communicates wisdom, creativity, and other positive traits,” says psychologist Aaron Ben-Zeev, Ph.D.
“Humor is seen as one of the most important traits in a romantic partner. Research shows that those with a strong sense of humor are seen as more attractive than intelligent people.”
As you can see, humor is essential when it comes to sexual and romantic attraction.
So, it makes perfect sense that people who like you will laugh at your jokes even if they aren’t funny or try to make you laugh every five minutes to be considered good people.
This also applies to introverts.
While introverts are a very tough crowd when it comes to humor, they will make an exception for those they are attracted to and express their interest through banter, shared inside jokes, and laughter.
5) They Mirror Your Body Language
Did you know that people are capable of mirroring other people’s body language to build a connection, sometimes of the sexual and romantic kind?
That’s true.
According to Psychology Today, “A common form of body language is mirroring another person’s gestures and mannerisms; mirroring also includes imitating another person’s speech patterns and even their postures. This is a way to build rapport with others. We learn by mimicking others, and it’s mostly an unconscious act.”
I’ve seen this happen on dates – throughout the evening, the other person and I will start adopting the same mannerisms or mimicking each other’s body language.
If they lean forward, I do it subconsciously too.
If I put my hand over my mouth when I laugh, they’ll eventually notice and mimic me.
Introverts aren’t immune to this type of behavior either. They’ll mimic you just as much as extroverts, though they may be less obvious about it.
6) They get awkward and nervous around you
Of course, not every introvert will be the most outgoing and laughable around their crush.
Conversely, many introverts will get so nervous around you that they’ll stumble over their words, blush, and generally act like an awkward ball of nervous energy.
Personally, it often depends on who I like and whether their energy is comfortable and welcoming.
If we’re on the same wavelength, I become more outgoing around them to signal my interest in them; If I was as attracted to them as I was afraid of them, I would stiffen up, and my laughter would become a bit forced and my words would become unnatural.
Hence the struggle of flirting with an introvert – you never know if they’re flirting with you because they like you or if they’re flirting with you because they feel comfortable around you due to their lack of sexual attraction.
Oh my.
I know, it’s a nightmare.
But just imagine how exhausting it would be for us.
7) They Pay Attention When You Talk
Many introverts I know are great listeners in all sorts of situations imaginable, but their listening skills improve even more when sexual or romantic interest is added to the mix.
This isn’t at all surprising when you consider the fact that we all pay more attention to our loved ones than to strangers.
Love makes our focus grow in strength and duration, which is why we remember the little details our loved one mentions at work about their family or side hustle.
If you spend time with an introvert who pays close attention to what you’re saying—even if the topic itself is pretty boring—that’s another sign that they find you attractive.
Of course, it could also mean that they’re listening well or want to be friends with you. That’s why most of the signs on this list only make a difference when you put them together into one cohesive picture.
8) There’s Sexual Chemistry Between You
Finally, I recommend listening to your gut.
What’s your gut telling you? Is there sexual chemistry in the air—and if so, is it mutual?
Just because you like someone doesn’t mean they’re ultimately into you.
But if the introvert in question exhibits the signs above, and if you can sense the sexual chemistry to top it all off…
The odds are in your favor.
