The overall effects of narcissistic abuse vary, depending on how long you’ve been in the relationship. You may experience mild or severe anxiety; while some victims can get over their anxiety relatively quickly, others struggle with it for the rest of their lives.

Narcissists love an anxious partner. When you’re anxious, you’re easy to manipulate and control.

They may use a number of tactics, such as causing conflict or being unpredictable, to break you down. Over time, anxiety levels can rise. There are several effective ways to reduce anxiety caused by a narcissist.

1 Breathing

Deep breathing is a very effective way to reduce anxiety. By breathing deeply, you relax your body and mind, which helps to relieve anxiety. The good thing is that deep breathing can be done anywhere, whether you’re at home with a volatile narcissist, in your car, or at work.

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Start by taking deep breaths in through your nose and out slowly through your mouth.

Doing this several times will begin to relax your body. As your body begins to calm down, your mind will follow. Deep breathing is very effective at reducing anxiety.

2 Practice Mindfulness

When your narcissistic partner starts blaming you for things, playing the victim, or otherwise acting in a way to control you and you feel anxious, you can practice mindfulness. The great thing about mindfulness is that you can practice it anywhere, too.

Start by focusing on three things around you. When you start focusing on other things, other than your narcissistic partner, you are grounded, controlling your anxiety. You can then close your eyes and listen to three things. It could be a car driving down the road, a bird in the park, or a dog barking.

Now, see if you can smell or taste anything. Touch three things. How do they feel? Can you feel the texture? Is it hot or cold? Practicing mindfulness puts you in the present. It is very effective at taking your mind off your anxiety and focusing on something else.

3 Learn to meditate

Another very effective way to reduce anxiety is through relaxation. Meditation has been used for centuries as an effective relaxation technique. You don’t have to join a fancy meditation class; you can do it at home.

Start by lying on your back. You can lie on your bed, the couch, the floor—wherever you feel most comfortable. Focus on your breathing, and follow the same routine you did with deep breathing. Take deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth.

To calm your mind, it’s always a good idea to chant a mantra in your head. As a victim of a narcissist, you might want to chant “I deserve this.” Say this over and over in your head, focusing on the words rather than letting your mind wander.

Meditation helps to relax your body and mind. It’s a way to completely clear your mind for a while, which can help you take a break from the anxiety you’re experiencing. If something pops into your mind during meditation, try to push it away, to clear your mind. Repeating a mantra helps you focus on those words, which can reduce the chance of your mind becoming overwhelmed and stressed.

4 Exercise

It’s really important to take care of your well-being when you’re in a relationship with a narcissist. Victims often find that their entire lives revolve around the narcissist, and they don’t take any time for themselves.

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Exercising regularly is a great way to maintain health and well-being, and it can also help with anxiety. Find something you really enjoy. This could be walking outdoors, cycling, going to the gym, taking a dance class, or indoor wall climbing. Whatever it is, set aside half an hour a few days a week to exercise and banish any worries from your mind.

5. Get into a sleep routine

It’s well known that lack of sleep increases anxiety levels. If you’re in a relationship with a narcissist and feel low, worthless, and useless, you may not be sleeping well. With your thoughts consuming you, it can be extremely difficult to fall asleep.

A good night’s sleep is essential to reducing anxiety. Setting a bedtime each night is a good idea. This will prepare your mind, knowing that your bedtime is coming soon.

You can also try drinking chamomile tea, hot milk, or taking a warm bath before bed. Remember to stay away from social media or your smartphone before bed, as blue light can interfere with sleep.

6 Reduce your alcohol, coffee, and sugar intake

In an effort to take care of your health and well-being, you may want to cut down on your alcohol, coffee, and sugar intake. All of these can exacerbate anxiety symptoms.

Many victims find that they consume a lot of alcohol to try to drown out the feelings of worthlessness they feel when they are in a relationship with a narcissist, while coffee and sugar make it harder to sleep.

If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, you are likely to become more anxious by the day. Cutting back on alcohol and limiting your coffee and sugar intake can have a positive effect.

7 Get professional help

No one wants to admit that they need professional help, especially when their partner is the one causing them anxiety.

There is nothing embarrassing to feel embarrassed about it, in fact the stigma associated with professional help has long since passed. To effectively manage your anxiety, professional help may be the only solution. This does not mean that you are inferior or that there is something wrong with you, it is simply a very effective way to help you get your life back.

A few sessions with a therapist may be just what you need. Talking about what’s going on in your life, how stressed you are, or how your partner is making you feel anxious is a great way to do it. These professionals can also provide you with coping mechanisms that you can use to reduce your anxiety.

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Whether you’re in a new relationship with a narcissist or have been abused by them for many years, you’re going to feel anxious at some point. Knowing how to deal with anxiety and what you can do to reduce it is in your best interest to help you take control of your health and well-being.

It’s not easy living with or being in a relationship with a narcissist. For them, it’s all about them, and they expect you to be there for them 24/7.

That’s enough to make anyone feel a little anxious. Take the time to practice at least one of these anxiety-relief steps once a day to help clear your mind and reduce your anxiety.