We can often fall in love, especially when we are in a long-term relationship. With everything going on in our lives, love and romance can easily take a backseat. If you feel like your relationship is lacking in romance, hold on… there is still hope.

falling in love.”

How do you maintain it? How do you keep experiencing what you’ve heard so many people say? “I love her, but I don’t like her.” Is it luck? hard work? option?

Yes.

I watched many people decide to divorce. Admitting that they have failed to keep the love of someone they have sworn to love. Forever. It’s an awful feeling. I know. I did it myself.

I also knew many who remained married. For whatever reason. Financial. “children.” usually. Maybe there is love out there, but rarely anything about it feels fresh. Like love was born today, not years ago.

Related: Waiting For Your Happily Ever After? Here’s What You Need To Do

I like to ask a question in therapy.

“Knowing all the things you know now, why would you marry your partner today? What would make you say ‘I do’ again?”

If you do not know the answer to this question, likely, you are not happy in your marriage.

This does not mean that it is hopeless.

Here are 7 ways to get back in love

1) You may be holding onto resentment.
Forgiveness is essential in a long-term relationship. I know I’ve given and got it on my own.

2) Perhaps you both ignored your relationship.
You put the kids or your job first. always. This is a common mistake. It can be easily justified. “I need to earn money so we can send the kids to college.” “I’m so busy getting the kids to all their activities, I don’t have time to do anything else.” “I’m so tired after working all day…”

Marriage cannot back down. He will die a slow death. You have to give time to each other.

3) You may not be happy with yourself.
It’s hard to see. Especially if you are attracted to someone else. Then it gets messy. And painful.

Affairs often revolve around the belief that another person has the power to make your life what you always thought it could be. Well, guess what? You possess that power.

You have to face in yourself what you don’t want to admit. It could be about you. You have issues from the past that are governing you. You struggle with your worth or fears. You are not what you thought you would be or you are struggling with getting older.

Maybe it is your marriage but these things need to be considered carefully.

Marriage cannot back down. He will die a slow death.

4) Don’t touch each other. literally.
We may all see a lot of sex in movies and on TV. But many people are too exhausted in their daily lives to even hold each other. They forget that touch and lovemaking are ways to connect and re-energize uniquely. You can learn it again. It may be embarrassing, but it is possible.

At first, it was new and exciting. Lust/love is what I call it. Now it might be more intentional.

Related: The Invisible Thread Between Two People Who Are Meant to Be Together

5) You may not have laughed in a long time. together.
I’ve heard many people struggle and struggle. When, at the end of the session, they can laugh about something, I feel more optimistic about whether or not they will make it. There is something positive that connects them.

6) You don’t have anything to strive for together.
This happens when people are not talking. You don’t realize the importance of having a common goal. Whether that work in your community, in church, or your private life. This goal brings new excitement and a sense of purpose to the marriage.

What are you two about? What do you care about together? Important questions to answer.

7) She did not accept the loss and did not appreciate the gain.
If you’ve been together for a while, you’ve likely had experiences that have “de-romanized” your partner. at least. I’ve seen them sick. Green in the gills. or frown. or irritable. And they hurt you. or disappointed. And you are.

They’ve lost the rock-star quality they had in the beginning.

You’ve gone through life together.

Alternatively, there can be an irreplaceable depth of feeling and experience. to be dear.

But it can never be new again. She simply can’t.

It must come true. I accepted. And destined.

So what makes you marry your partner again? So you know what you know now? (Remember, they answer the same question…).

Perhaps you can find answers that will surprise you. So warm your heart.

I hope so.