Do you feel frustrated by the negativity of others? Does your happiness cause negative feelings in some people? What are the best ways to respond to people who bring you down and threaten your happiness?
“Ignore people who threaten your joy. Ignore them. Say nothing. Don’t invite any part of them into your space.” – Alex El
For every person looking for happiness, some deny its existence in the first place. The very word excites people, both on the level of the guts and on the plains of high philosophy. As with every trigger topic, opinions are formed and quickly harden into a concrete wall.
This post is not trying to break through anyone’s wall but instead offers support to those who feel frustrated by the negativity of others. It is hard enough to gain clarity on a complex matter. Then, in a variety of ways and for a variety of reasons, come the people who waste your happiness.
Let’s see how to respond to some of them:
7 ways to respond to people who bring you down
- Misery Seeks Company.
Should all the members of your closest circle wish you happiness so that when you run away from them, move on to the next point? For the rest of us, remember that rivalry is commonplace, and manifests itself in feelings of annoyance, unreasonable demands, and constant judgments.
An envious person does not usually consider herself an envious person, but she may roll her eyes when she laughs, sings, whistles, or shares success. Feeling left behind, a sibling or coworker may change the subject or point out the negative every time you mention something positive.
The rivalry possibilities are endless and you have to find out. Once you become aware, you must start your response internally and may have to stay there.
Competitiveness is part of life. Nothing matters more than accepting the way things are. Leave it and forgive. Think to yourself, “It’s good to be happy, even when others are having a hard time being happy themselves. I’ll be sensitive to their pain, but it won’t hinder my growth. I won’t hide my light under a bushel.”
- Projection.
Another primitive reaction to happiness is projection. Many civilized people – alienated from nature and society, sedentary, sleep-deprived, intoxicated with simple carbohydrates – are unhappy. Depression and addiction to painkillers are on the rise. Many feel lonely. We see what we are.
While a person might make a seemingly intellectual argument (“Happiness does not exist because of A, B, C”), he might be told by a dark cloud that doubts the existence of Heaven. Instead of thinking, “My life is hard, and I feel doomed,” he might generalize and believe that life is always hard and that the entire human race, if not the entire universe, is doomed. Projections are, by definition, unconscious. It may be enough for you to know this to move on and embrace life.
Sometimes it’s appropriate to point out the obvious and say, “Yeah, life can be really hard, and a lot of them are doomed.” This correct phrase does two things: comfort the unhappy person and create a distance for you to disengage from their distress. The ability to communicate constructively with others is the most important component of happiness (see “The Ten Building Blocks of Communication” in A Unified Theory of Happiness). But no one is served when you too feel condemned. If you’re dealing with unhappy depressive moods, you’re only adding to the darkness in the world.
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- Repetition, repetition, repetition.
Although your understanding of happiness is likely based on complex personal learning, you will be subject to tired expressions. For example, anyone remotely interested in the subject knows that happiness doesn’t always mean feeling good, but rather involves hard work, acceptance of failure, and sadness.
However, upsetting, which is governed by perspective, is part of a fully engaged life. Such thoughts do not preclude a “serious” critic who should teach you. Be prepared to put up with endlessly repeating “don’t chase the rainbow” quotes. Keep in mind that imitating others is a major way of learning for all of us.
People prefer this method to think things through themselves. The response here should be simply: patience, patience, patience.
- “Aim for contentment, not happiness.”
There is no happiness without the ability to satisfy oneself in the present moment, but contentment can do without it. A happy person doesn’t just smile at what he is; She sometimes laughs in the head and teases her feelings, while striving for goals and wholeheartedly getting involved in messy relationships.
- “Happiness is not a meaningful goal.”
This judgment comes from skeptical thinkers who, ironically, have not considered this judgment. Whether or not happiness is a meaningful goal certainly depends on how happiness is defined.
If your definition is limited to good luck and vibes, you don’t derive much meaning. Conversely, if you seek excellence, being a good person, loving, or living an enlightened life, you derive great meaning. Give your definition of happiness to the skeptic. If he ignores it, he’s making a show in his head that you don’t play any part in. This is so bad. for him.
- “Happiness is a selfish preoccupation.”
This negative perception should be easily corrected. Happiness is never a one-woman proposition but is born out of a sense of connection. Rat isolation. - “Happiness is stupid.”
A lot goes into play when it comes to happiness, but the non-conservatives among us might miss it. When (mostly) men, raw aggression is paired with confidence, they talk like they do well, please. These days, the overly aggressive think they are opposed to political correctness—a lame excuse.
Notice the lack of manners and ask for a more constructive choice of words. Be firm without becoming rude, or you will join in his unhappiness. If all else fails, prepare to disengage. Happiness includes the willingness to set boundaries and say, “No in the name of love.”
I bow to those who claim their right to live fully engaged lives. Stand strong in the face of negativity. And when you touch yourself, be aware, stay with it, do what you can, and let it pass.
