People who have been emotionally abused love differently in these seven ways. The scars are internal. When it comes to abusive relationships, it’s not always just physical abuse. While this is not meant to detract from the domestic violence issue that so many men/women have experienced (and continue to suffer), it is meant to address the fact that emotional abuse can be just as harmful, but in very different ways.

When you’re in an emotionally abusive relationship, it won’t always get noticed right away. You do not bear the bruises of a physical attack, but you still have many scars, and this scar leaves an imprint that can affect every future relationship.

It’s hard to love again after you’ve been manipulated, put down, controlled, belittled, and made to feel worthless by someone who was supposed to love and care about you.

As someone who has experienced emotional abuse in the past and can now see it clearly, I am also able to see how that has changed my idea of relationships and my approach to love.

Related: 5 Ways To Handle A Non-Committal Guy

7 Ways People Who Have Been Emotionally Abused Love Differently

1. We keep our distance longer than most.
   Even if we think we really like you, we will keep our distance. We’ll keep you at arm’s length, we might not respond to you right away, and we certainly wouldn’t want to spend a lot of time with you. We don’t want to get too close.
2. We play it near the box.
   After experiencing emotional abuse, being able to open up freely is painful. We don’t want to put ourselves in a weak position again and when you talk about yourself, that’s exactly what you do.

You reveal your bits and pieces that suddenly make you a target. For us, it would be safer if we kept some things to ourselves.

3. We’re taking it slow.
   I don’t just mean physically slow, but emotionally and mentally slow. Like a wounded puppy, it’s hard not to tread carefully. It’s just an instinctive way to protect ourselves from further harm.
4. We’re overly skeptical.
   When you’re with someone who pesters you over and over again – and says you’re no good and worthless – you can’t help but wonder why anyone would ever want to indulge you again.

If you tell us you love us and we look at you weird, it’s not that the feeling isn’t mutual; Instead, we’re still a little unclear about what might be attractive or endearing to another person.

Related: 8 Truths You Must Accept To Find True Love

5. We hesitate to get to know the people in our life.
   When you start to get to know the friends and family of the person you’re in a relationship with, things are getting serious. It also means that your life is becoming more and more intertwined.

It can be a little intimidating, so we proceed with caution.

6. We are affectionate but on our terms.
   When I first met my husband, he was baffled by the lack of affection I gave him. Even at the height of our love, I had to be affectionate on my terms. If he hugged me, sometimes I would push him away.

It wasn’t that I didn’t want to be close to him, but after a relationship where before the affection was so minimal, it took me a long time to learn how to embrace him again and enjoy him.

Related: Why You’ll Regret Losing The Woman Who Waited For You To Grow Up

7. We assume the worst (but hope for the best).
   When you are mistreated by someone you love, you automatically build a wall around your heart. You become careful and protective, distributing your love to bits, little by little.

Since this is the case, we naturally assume that things won’t last or that we’ll get hurt again.

Of course, we hope it doesn’t remind us of the past, but we’ve been assuming the worst for longer than most of us. It’s just a coping mechanism and it works for many of us.