Narcissists are skilled manipulators who use various psychological tactics to control and dominate others. These manipulative individuals often test their victims in subtle or overt ways to determine how much control they can exert and how far they can push boundaries. Here are seven common ways narcissists test their victims:
1. Love Bombing
Love bombing is one of the most common tactics narcissists use early in relationships. They shower their victims with excessive affection, compliments, and attention to quickly form a deep emotional bond. The purpose is to make the victim feel special and adored, creating a sense of obligation. It’s a way for the narcissist to gauge how much the victim craves attention and how easy it will be to manipulate them later by withdrawing this affection.
Test: By overwhelming their target with love and praise, narcissists test how easily the victim will become emotionally attached and dependent on them.
2. Pushing Boundaries
Narcissists regularly test how much they can get away with by pushing personal boundaries. This might start subtly—showing up unannounced, making inappropriate comments, or ignoring requests. Over time, these boundary violations become more severe, like pressuring the victim to do things they are uncomfortable with.
Test: By seeing how the victim reacts to small boundary violations, narcissists gauge whether the person will stand up for themselves or allow the narcissist to dominate the relationship.
3. Gaslighting
Gaslighting is a manipulation tactic where narcissists distort reality to make the victim doubt their perceptions, memories, or sanity. They may deny past events, twist words, or blame the victim for things they didn’t do. This mental manipulation is a test to see how much the victim can be controlled psychologically.
Test: Narcissists use gaslighting to test how easily they can distort the victim’s sense of reality and whether the victim will question their own judgment in favor of the narcissist’s version of events.
4. Triangulation
Triangulation involves bringing a third person into the dynamic, such as an ex, a friend, or even a stranger, to stir jealousy and insecurity. Narcissists will talk about how desirable others find them or how their ex still wants them back. This tactic is designed to make the victim feel like they are competing for the narcissist’s attention and love.
Test: Narcissists use triangulation to test how much jealousy or insecurity they can provoke in their victim, as well as how much the victim will fight for their approval.
5. Withholding
After love-bombing, narcissists often test their victims by suddenly withholding affection, communication, or approval. This creates confusion and anxiety in the victim, who wonders what they did wrong and how they can regain the narcissist’s favor. The victim is left chasing the narcissist’s approval, desperate to get back to the initial “honeymoon” phase.
Test: Withholding is a test to see how much the victim is willing to sacrifice or change to win back the narcissist’s approval, giving the narcissist more control over the relationship.
6. Passive-Aggression and Silent Treatment
Narcissists use passive-aggressive behavior and the silent treatment to punish their victims without explicitly confronting them. They might sulk, give the cold shoulder, or make snide comments, leaving the victim confused and hurt. The silent treatment is particularly cruel because it isolates the victim and creates a sense of emotional abandonment.
Related : 7 Painful Things Narcissists Will Always Lie About
Test: These behaviors are tests to see how far the narcissist can push the victim into emotional distress while avoiding responsibility for their actions.
7. Playing the Victim
Narcissists often play the victim, twisting situations to make themselves appear as the one who has been wronged. This tactic allows them to avoid accountability for their actions while manipulating the actual victim into feeling guilty or overly empathetic.
Test: By playing the victim, narcissists test how much sympathy they can extract from their target and how willing the person is to overlook or excuse the narcissist’s behavior.
Conclusion
Narcissists are masters of manipulation, and their tests are designed to gauge how much control they can exert over their victims. By understanding these tactics—love bombing, boundary pushing, gaslighting, triangulation, withholding, passive aggression, and playing the victim—people can recognize the red flags early on and take steps to protect themselves. The key to avoiding a narcissist’s web is maintaining strong boundaries, self-awareness, and an understanding that manipulation is not love.
