Oh, shocking!
Narcissists have double standards!
As if we’re even a little surprised, aren’t we?
They say one thing and mean another. They say one thing and do another.
But what about money? Narcissists and money are a real minefield, but discovering double standards and financial matters will be a real eye-opener.
Let’s not wait any longer!
Okay?
1 They expect you to spend, but they’re cheap with you
When a narcissist expects you to put your hand in your pocket, nothing should be more shocking than the fact:
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They hate doing the same to you!
That’s true.
This ties into their high sense of entitlement, doesn’t it? They demand things from you that they’ll never repay.
Somehow, you’re always the one who’s spending, while they never repay you for your financial favor.
It’s completely contradictory that they treat you this way, but I wouldn’t be surprised.
Money is a cushion for their selfishness. The more they have, the more successful they feel.
So when it comes to being able to part ways with anything, they won’t—unless they have to.
2 They Call You Irresponsible While Spending Money Their self
Do you know how much you’re spending right now?
Don’t worry, I’ve got it covered!
Let me pay, I insist!
Oh my God, that picture frame is only $199!
You’re reckless with your money. Has anyone ever told you that?
I’m sorry, is that pot shooting at pot?
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Why is it okay for a narcissist to do one thing and then tell you not to do the exact same thing?! I’ll tell you why.
Because the narcissist makes the rules themselves. What applies to them doesn’t apply to you.
You have to do what they’re told, and they easily get out of every difficult situation.
If you see a narcissist taking a large sum of money out of their pocket to spend on frivolous things, while berating you for spending a small portion, beware.
These are warning signs I can’t stress enough.
3 They Hide Money and Demand Honesty
Narcissists are adept at hiding money. They have large sums of money lying around, and they’ll never tell you about it.
This money isn’t for anything specific, but they see it as useful in times of need, or when they’re in a situation where they want to accumulate everything and show it off to impress.
But if you did the same thing? Oh my God, you’ll never hear the end of it!
You hid all this money from me and didn’t tell me?
What were you planning, were you planning to run away?
Hey, I wouldn’t judge you if that was your plan.
4 They Use Money to Punish or Reward You
Good job! You did it! You have some money to celebrate!
If you’re not careful with how you spend your money, I’ll take your cards off your hands.
Money is seen as a punishment or reward system, and I hate to say it, but you’re the center of attention in both.
This double standard can really affect how you, the victim, view money. Many people who deal with narcissists fear money, fearing either not having it or spending it excessively.
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It’s cruel and unnecessary to subject people to this kind of treatment, but narcissists realize it’s just a way for them to maintain more control and power.
5 They expect help but never return it
Can you lend me some money? I’m running out of money this month.
I’ll pay you back.
Yes, that’s right. You’ll never see that money again.
The worst part is, once they realize you’re a greedy lender, they’ll come back for more and more, and you’ll give up everything you own just to please them.
Your life doesn’t depend on how they treat you, and giving them money won’t make them like you any more.
All they see of you is an ATM. Don’t let that happen, especially if it means you’re short on money.
6 They blame you for your financial independence
Why can’t you work more? It’s unfair that I have to do everything.
Oh, so you think you’re better than me just because you make more money?
You wouldn’t be where you are today without me.
Why are you always so busy? Do I no longer care about you?
Nothing you do will be right.
Nothing you say will be right.
Whatever your financial situation, it will never be what the narcissist wants.
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You want to be financially independent. But the narcissist always makes you feel bad about it.
Why?
Because they want you to need them. If you need them, you’ll always be dependent on them. They make the rules, set the standards, and have all the power and control.
That’s not what you want, but that’s how it works in the narcissist’s world.
Because guess what? If you didn’t have money, they’d tear you apart!
Why do I always have to pay for everything?
Why can’t you work more hours?
Don’t you know how much pressure you put on me every time you depend on me for money?
Look how everything you do is wrong. It’s never right.
It’s a sad truth, but it’s so real.
7 They Weaponize Generosity
Who knows the phrase:
After everything I’ve done for you!
It’s the worst, and we all know how common it is. You accept whatever the narcissist offers you, with good intentions.
At the time, they may have forced it on you and told you you had no choice but to accept it.
Let me give you an example: changing names is normal.
Millie knew her father was a narcissist. She had bought a house with her partner, Paul, and they were starting to decorate it.
One evening, Millie’s father visited their house and told them they needed him.
Those were his actual words!
You need me.
He offered to pay for an interior designer to come and do all the work they needed.
Paul accepted the offer and said how sweet he was. When her father left, Millie burst into tears.
Paul wanted to know what the problem was, and Millie said,
“He does this. He offers things and then uses them against us later.”
Paul didn’t understand at the time, but he learned his lesson after hearing her father tell people he “had to” pay for their house decorations, as if it was a big deal.
They both heard him say, “After everything I’ve done for them!” on numerous occasions.
This couldn’t be further from the truth.
If you’re going to offer to do something, don’t use it as a weapon later.
