Everyone feels lonely at one point or another. There are many uncomfortable facts about why people hate being alone, and we will examine them.
Here’s the thing, being alone can be beneficial for both introverts and extroverts, and even improve emotional health. If you are an introvert, it is easy to be lonely, because you are not a social person.
However, you can still feel lonely every now and then. But healthy introverts think about their friends and family, go visit them for a while, and then they’re fine.
Extroverts are not satisfied with being alone. They usually prefer being around friends more than introverts. When extroverts are lonely, they spend more time in social situations. But both types are okay with being alone sometimes if they are comfortable and emotionally healthy.
The uncomfortable truths that people who hate loneliness don’t want to face
Here it is different. There are some people who do not like to be alone, and I am referring to those who cannot be alone for a moment. There are reasons for this unhealthy mindset.
And yes, it is unhealthy to always be around other people almost 100% of the time. So, let’s examine the inconvenient reasons why.
- You feel unloved
Suppose you were abandoned or neglected as a child. You had a hard time getting your parents’ attention to you, but they were always too busy with other things.
Unfortunately, these feelings of loneliness have become ingrained in your personality. Then, later, you also felt neglected by your relationship partner, which exacerbated these feelings.
Feeling lonely can make you feel unloved and cause you to desperately seek companionship to keep those feelings away. Because every time you are alone, it reminds you of how you felt before, as a child and in certain relationships.
Constantly being around others gives you a false sense of love just because you have people around.
- You have low self-esteem
Honestly, if you are afraid of being alone, you may have low self-esteem. Reason: You have an endless need to confirm that you are lovable.
You see, receiving compliments temporarily boosts your feelings, and with friends around you, you don’t feel so alone. But when you stay at home without talking to him, you immediately see all your faults and shortcomings.
I’m going to sound a little harsh here, but I think it’s necessary. A person with low self-esteem is like a bucket with a hole. No matter how many compliments, accolades, or hugs you get, when everyone leaves, it all drains again. Then you are left once again to think those negative things about yourself unchallenged.
- You don’t know what to do
There are many things you can do yourself. However, some people have difficulty starting tasks. If you’re used to being around people all the time, being alone will make it feel awkward to do things alone too.
When everyone leaves and leaves you behind, you may look around and feel uninspired to do anything. It seems unnatural to complete projects alone or enjoy time with yourself. Thus, loneliness will creep in quickly during these times.
- Your memories are not pleasant
If you have experienced traumatic events in your life, for example, such as losing loved ones, your memories can be your worst enemy. While some people can look back and smile, others find the memories unbearably painful. Being alone means having more opportunities to reflect on the past.
When you are around other people, you can be easily distracted from your memories, engaged in present situations, and enjoying social functions. But when they leave, there’s an open door for those memories to come rushing back in.
Some people surround themselves with others to prevent this from happening. Yes, this works for a while, but eventually, you will be alone again.
- You don’t even know who you are
One of the worst things you can develop is a codependent mentality. You see, as you grow up and become an adult, you start basing your happiness on others. You keep asking others:
“What do you think would make me happy?”
“What tattoo should I get and where?” And
“Do you think I should lose weight?”
Although this may seem silly, this is how a large number of people think.
You see, the goal is to get to know yourself and understand what you like separately from anyone else’s opinions or preferences.
How does dependence on others prevent us from feeling comfortable when we are alone? Because when we are alone, we should think for ourselves. But we can’t because we have no idea who we really are or what we want.
- You know exactly who you are
On the other hand, some people know exactly who they are, and that’s not pretty. Suppose you spent a large part of your life being cruel to others and getting away with it. You know that in the end, you may pay for your actions.
Being alone reminds you of the things you have done because there is no one to interrupt those thoughts. Guilt may also start to eat away at your conscience when you’re alone, too.
By understanding this, you surround yourself with people as much as possible. If you change your ways, you may be faced with the decision to confront your issues or apologize for mistakes.
Either way, you are turning away from the truth of your identity and wearing a mask of innocence. The truth is that one day, your actions will likely come to light. So what will you do?
- We are social animals
The other truth, even for introverts, is that we are conditioned to be social animals. Long ago, we gathered in groups, lived closely in villages, and worked together. So, being alone now seems almost painful for some.
If you’re struggling to be alone, and you absolutely hate it, this may be a normal reaction. Yes, it’s easier for introverts to be alone, but it’s not the norm for humans. Therefore, it seems very strange to you.
