In an attempt to describe the term “friend-frenemy,” the word “boss” was developed to describe this complex form of workplace relationships where the person who most influences your success seems to have a sabotaging power over your brain. Here are 7 types of bosses who can make work more stressful than it needs to be.
Boss #1: Office Kings
Nothing is too good and nothing is good enough for this boss. “Office kings” narcissistically and genuinely believe that they deserve respectful treatment and blind admiration from others, whether they are leading the company or just stepping up the corporate ladder. If you report directly to office kings, objectively and accurately assess this person’s “global and local impact” on your career success. Remember, however, that no one should be expected to “bow down” to anyone beyond the normal bounds of respectful and professional behavior. Doing your job well is encouraged, but expecting strawberries and cream is a bit of a stretch.
Buscemi #2: The Diva
This boss is willing to work the team at full speed without stopping, but she’s quick to relish the praise the team rightfully deserves. Divas often demand submissive obedience from employees, who may respond in a variety of ways. Some may enjoy the spotlight if they’re greeted with a smile; others may ask, “How high?” if asked to jump; others may yawn, scratch their heads, and wonder what all the fuss is about; and still others may be resentful of the diva’s arrogant audacity. When the diva is truly the boss, it can be especially frustrating if there’s no choice but to accommodate the diva’s needs or indulge her whims to avoid major destabilization. Patience at work, patient friends you can complain to, and the ability to maintain a steady work-life balance are all helpful in dealing with the divas you encounter in the workplace.
Buscemi #3: The Stealth Bomber
Stealth bombers are dangerous bosses because they can spot weaknesses, plan attacks, and retaliate even for perceived slights. If you report to this type of boss, make sure your eyes are on the prize and your work ethic is clear. If your boss tries to stir up internal conflict within the team, don’t let yourself get dragged into the fray. Show respect for your colleagues, give your best at work, and find ways to build team morale and group cohesion outside of the workplace, if possible. When a team is united, it’s much harder for stealth bombers to isolate a member for a hit. If you’re the target of a stealth bomber boss, make sure you keep solid documentation of any relevant incidents as well as your performance.
Buscemi #4: The Grump
Working alongside a grump is nerve-wracking, and working for a grump is even worse. If your boss is making you miserable with his or her misery, you may need to learn how to practice “smiling meditation” or “eyes-open-ears meditation” when he or she is in a state of remorse. As an employee, it helps to know your triggers and do everything you can, if anything, to protect your boss from them. No matter how crazy your boss is, remember that your boss is still your boss. Doing everything you can to contribute to operational success makes everyone look good.
Buscemi #5: The People-Pleaser
You’re more likely to work alongside a people-pleaser than for a people-pleaser, as people-pleasers are less likely to advance higher in the chain of command. People-pleasers rarely signal that they have management skills, as they seem to spend their time trying to please the managers they report to. If you report to a people-pleaser, you may find yourself working long hours against incredibly optimistic deadlines, while your boss tries to please upper management by agreeing to unrealistic demands. Perhaps you can initiate a “heart-to-heart” conversation with your boss to share your concerns about failing to deliver on unworkable promises. People-pleasers typically like to please their bosses as well as their team members, so your feedback may be taken seriously.
Buscemi #6: The Scandal Maker
Most people like to be “in the know” about things at work. Unfortunately, your “inside contact” may be more than just a trusted person. If your boss is your “go-to person,” this can be a double-edged sword. If your boss shares inside information about impending organizational changes, it can be a career-changing one. Knowing what’s coming can help you plan career moves that will help you achieve your overall career goals. However, some bosses encourage employees to update themselves on what’s happening at their level or what might be more serious for employees in their lives. You may feel torn between being honest or cautious with your boss. Choose a path that protects your long-term investment over that of others or the organization. Remember, your boss may have the latest company news, but she or he may be revealing someone’s secrets that were shared privately. If you share your updates, the news your boss shares with others may be your private news.
Buscemi #7: The Overt Bully
In the workplace, bullying can be experienced differently depending on the gender of the bully. Women often use “more defensible” or “unconscious” tactics to bully their colleagues. They know how to be mean in ways that men may not even realize the bully’s bullet has been fired. Facial expressions, stares, passive-aggressive actions, and indirect compliments are examples of how women bully their coworkers. Men may use pranks in the office, verbal harassment, and other more overt behaviors. Dealing with bullies in the workplace can be a stressful task and can lead to physical and emotional stress. Unfortunately, the hierarchy of authority can facilitate bullying by supervisors who are prone to this behavior. Women are at a particular disadvantage, as few women are trained to stand up to those who hurt them, making them easy targets for their tormentors. If you feel you are being bullied, begin immediately documenting what is happening between you and the bully. Since many bullies rarely confront their behavior—from childhood to adulthood—calling them out for the behavior may lead to a solution. Left unchecked, bullies do not usually stop on their own—they may move from one target to another, but the bullying tends to continue. If you feel that sexual harassment is just a small part of the bullying from the beginning, file a complaint with your human resources department immediately.
Fifth Whistle
We often spend more of our waking hours with the people we work with than with our families, loved ones, or friends. When you’re at work, remember that it’s just work. No job should be a measure of your worth, and no job should come before your well-being. And because you can’t change anyone’s behavior but your own, focus on doing everything you can to build your self-esteem, professionalism, and commitment to success. That’s much healthier than dreaming up ways to get back at your boss.
In short, when dealing with a toxic boss, make sure you document what’s happening carefully. Afterward, consider having a face-to-face meeting with your boss to discuss your concerns—stay calm and objective, if a meeting happens. If that doesn’t work, contact your HR department to ask for a solution. If the situation is beyond repair, your commitment to your professional growth will benefit your search for a new job, if necessary.