Self-awareness is often seen as a sign of personal growth, but when it comes to narcissists, things get a little more complicated. Narcissists are often thought of as lacking insight into their behavior, but what happens when they are self-aware? The intersection of narcissism and self-awareness reveals surprising truths about how these individuals navigate relationships, emotions, and their own identity.

If you’re interested in this intriguing dynamic, read on as we uncover seven facts about self-aware narcissists and their behavior.

Fact 1: Self-aware narcissists acknowledge their traits

Unlike typical narcissists who may deny or justify their behavior, self-aware narcissists often acknowledge their narcissistic tendencies. They may admit to being manipulative, selfish, or emotionally detached. However, this acknowledgement doesn’t necessarily lead to behavioral change.

Instead of using their self-awareness as a tool for personal growth, many self-conscious narcissists use it to justify their actions. They may say, “This is just who I am,” as a way to avoid accountability. Understanding this fact can help you identify when self-awareness is being weaponized rather than used constructively.

Fact 2: They struggle with guilt and shame

One of the most paradoxical aspects of self-conscious narcissists is their internal battle with guilt and shame. They recognize the harm their actions cause, but instead of addressing these feelings constructively, they may turn to self-pity or become defensive.

For some, this guilt manifests itself in a need to control others’ perceptions of them. They may go to great lengths to appear compassionate or altruistic, not necessarily to change their ways, but to maintain their idealized self-image. Understanding this internal struggle can provide insight into why self-conscious narcissists are often so inconsistent in their actions.

Fact 3: Relationships are transactional for them

Self-aware narcissists are often very aware of their tendency to view relationships as transactional. They may openly admit to forming relationships based on what they can gain, whether it’s admiration, resources, or status.

While this candor can be refreshing, it’s also a red flag. Their awareness doesn’t mean they value relationships for the right reasons. Instead, they may be using their self-awareness to better exploit others. Recognizing this can help you set boundaries and avoid getting sucked into unhealthy dynamics.

Fact 4: They May Seek Therapy, But for the Wrong Reasons

It’s not uncommon for self-conscious narcissists to seek therapy. However, their motivations are often rooted in improving their image or gaining the tools to better manipulate their environment, rather than a genuine desire to change.

In therapy, they may focus on intellectualizing their feelings, avoiding vulnerability, and displaying their intelligence. A skilled therapist can help them peel back these layers, but progress often depends on whether the narcissist truly wants to change or simply wants to appear to have changed.

For anyone dealing with a self-conscious narcissist, this fact highlights the importance of looking beyond words and actions to understand deeper motivations.

Fact 5: They Excel at Emotional Manipulation

Self-conscious narcissists often hone their ability to manipulate emotions. Their understanding of their own personality traits gives them an advantage in identifying and exploiting others’ vulnerabilities.

This heightened level of manipulation can make interacting with them particularly difficult. They may use sarcastic humor to disarm you or display vulnerability to gain your trust. Being aware of this tendency can help you maintain emotional clarity and avoid falling into their traps.

Read more: 7 Traits of the Egopath Narcissist and the Circle of Devoted Followers

Fact 6: Self-awareness doesn’t equal empathy

One of the main misconceptions about self-aware narcissists is that their insight into their behavior translates into empathy. While they may understand how their actions affect others, that understanding doesn’t necessarily elicit genuine care or concern.

For many self-aware narcissists, empathy remains a tool, not a feeling. They may mimic empathetic behaviors to achieve a goal, but they lack the emotional depth that true empathy requires. Recognizing this distinction can help you manage expectations in relationships with self-aware narcissists.

Fact 7: Some people want to change, but it’s a long road

Not all self-aware narcissists resist growth. Some people truly want to break free from their narcissistic patterns, but the process is neither easy nor linear. It requires a willingness to confront deep-seated insecurities, challenge ingrained behaviors, and develop genuine empathy.

For those embarking on this journey, consistency and accountability are key. It’s also important for loved ones to maintain healthy boundaries and avoid enabling harmful behaviors under the guise of support.

Why It’s Important to Understand Self-Aware Narcissists

Self-aware narcissists can be a confusing concept. On the one hand, they have the insight to acknowledge their flaws. On the other hand, their behavior often reinforces the traits they acknowledge.

Understanding these facts can help demystify their behavior and give you the tools to navigate relationships with them. Whether it’s setting boundaries, managing expectations, or seeking professional guidance, getting informed is the first step toward healthier interactions.

See also: 7 Reasons Narcissists Abuse the People They Claim to Love

Final Thoughts

Self-aware narcissists occupy a unique position on the narcissism spectrum. Their combination of insight and manipulation can make them both charming and difficult to deal with. By understanding their behavior through these seven facts, you can better protect your emotional health while maintaining clarity in your interactions.