If you’re someone who constantly fears that their relationship will fail and that their loved one will abandon them, you’ve come to the right place. This article will discuss love addiction, the characteristics of a love addict, and strategies for overcoming it.

Are you constantly afraid of losing your relationship? In today’s article from the “Best Day” blog, I’ll help you by sharing seven characteristics of someone who lives in constant fear of loss, along with seven solutions to overcome this fear.

These characteristics have been described by different names: relationship insecurity and anxious attachment style. Medically, this person is called a love addict—don’t worry about that threatening label.

If you have a favorite food, drink, or anything else, they have the same addictive mechanisms. Don’t be ashamed of yourself. One of the main reasons we all struggle is our inability to call things by their names. Instead, realize that living in truth and reality is a prerequisite for building a healthy relationship.

What are the seven characteristics of a love addict?

1. Overthinking.
   
   This happens when we replay conversations, look at texts, and understand every little detail. The key difference is that these thoughts are obsessive and always revolve around understanding the other person.
   
2. Catastrophic Thinking.

This often arises when there is a gap in communication. Even the slightest interruption in texting or talking leads the love addict to express fear that the relationship is over, that their partner is angry with them, or that something is wrong.

3. The Need for Constant Reassurance.

I experienced this—I learned it from my mother. It was common for our family to sit down for dinner and talk about politics or some other topic, and my mother would suddenly say, “How do I look in that dress?”

4. Bringing the Past into the Current Relationship.

The love addict’s internalized fear creates an urgent need to maintain their safety. One way they try to maintain their safety is by comparing the past to the present.

Related : Find Out How Narcissists Turn Every Phone Call Into a Power Play

For example, you might constantly compare what your current partner is doing to what your ex did. Unfortunately, this attempt to avoid pain makes it impossible to be present in the moment, and hypervigilance can lead to the end of the relationship.

5. Giving too much time, attention, and power to the other person.

The love addict’s desperate need to avoid abandonment creates a debilitating sense of self-destruction. They do this by overemphasizing their partner’s strengths and elevating them to a fantasy. The addict makes their partner’s life more valuable than their own.

They give up their interests, space, and desires. They pay too much attention to their partner and not enough attention to themselves. They make them a higher power.

6. Spying.

Love addicts feel the need, and even demand, to check their partner’s phone or email, and to excessively browse their social media accounts.

They want to monitor who they accompany and where their partner goes. Additionally, they are constantly on alert for the possibility of being replaced.

7. Inability to feel complete or happy outside of the relationship.

Love addicts feel empty, sad, and depressed if they are alone, and often enter into new relationships, even if they are destructive, to avoid loneliness.

What are the seven solutions for love addiction?

1. Confront self-deception and acknowledge the truth.

A love addict needs to realize that their expectations are addictive. Our desire for unlimited positive affirmation and our demand for excessive time and attention from the other person is excessive. We need to recognize that our definition of love is distorted and that we must heal ourselves.

2. Do the 3 Steps.

The following three steps from Al-Anon are called “The 3 Steps.” The first step is to release their pressure. Constantly wondering what they’re doing, needing constant attention, overthinking their every thought and action, and spying on them are signs that we’re “watching” them and paying excessive attention to their lives rather than our own. Characteristics of a Love Addict

3. Get out of their way.

The addict needs to stop trying to dictate or correct how their partner lives their life. Let them be who they want to be. Don’t try to change them or force them to meet our needs. They’re fine the way they are. It’s not our place to criticize them, judge them, or dictate what they should be.

4. Live your own life.

Instead of devoting all your time and attention to them, devote it to yourself! Learn to meet your own needs, get back to living your own life, and pursue the hobbies, friendships, and interests you gave up when you first started the relationship. 5. Boost self-esteem.

Related : You’re Shocked to See Where Narcissists Really End Up

For the love addict, their inner sense of security is now centered on their partner or goal. Therefore, they need to begin developing a belief in intrinsic value at all times, not just in the relationship.

6. Set boundaries.

Addicts find it difficult to contain what they share about themselves. Here’s a suggestion: Think of the accelerator pedal. If your partner shares a little, join in, accelerating at 8-10 mph. Maybe they try to speed up to 12-13 mph, but if they back off, you back off. This is how you know when you’re doing it right: You should feel cold, harsh, selfish, and uncaring.

You should feel uncomfortable because you’ve gotten used to pressing the gas pedal hard. When you feel this new discomfort, you’ll know you’re no longer acting addictively or anxiously. You’re acting in moderation. You’ll get used to it quickly, and things will get better.

7. Consult an expert.

Children’s abandonment led to their addiction. Therefore, it’s essential to consult a professional to overcome it.

I encourage you to read Pia Melody’s books “Facing Love Addiction” and “Facing Codependency” to learn more about this. Beverly Engel’s book “The Emotionally Abusive Relationship” is also excellent.

Related ; The One Secret The Narcissist Knows About You

The addict must come to terms with the reality of their childhood abandonment. These three books are essential for those suffering from love addiction.

Remember, someone suffering from love addiction is not bad or weak. They are in pain and are doing their best to avoid it. Attaching themselves to someone with an addiction is the only way to relieve that pain.

Sadly, if left untreated, it causes more pain, which they are desperately trying to avoid. But there is hope. If we develop a plan to address the underlying pain, we can find the true love we crave and deserve.