![](https://linside.store/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/YOU-CAN-1-18.png)
By now, many of us know what it means to stay in a relationship for longer than we should.
Long after the red flags appear and wave in our faces, we stay with someone who we know deep down is not the right person for us.
Your family and friends may implore you to leave at the first sign of danger, but you remain believing that you are the magical person who can make them change their ways.
There are many reasons why a person may choose to remain committed to a relationship that does not serve them. It could be about the children and settling down, or they may be used to living in a dual-income household. However, according to YourTango experts, there are some very specific reasons why people decide to stay in bad relationships instead of choosing to start fresh.
Related: 5 Common Reasons An Adult May Keep A Child From Their Grandparent, According To Experts
Here are seven tragic reasons why people are in bad relationships, according to YourTango experts:
- Financial stability
“For many, it is unfortunate that money is what keeps them together. Either one or both of them do not have any financial security without remaining in the relationship, whether it is because they need a shared income or rely on the income of the main wage earner in their family.
- Negative results
Fear of family repercussions is another reason toxic couples stay together. It makes sense to want to keep the family together and/or avoid the pain that divorce may cause to children, parents, and other relatives. However, many couples who must separate wait until the children are of college age to maintain the façade of a happy home. Also, depending on their religious beliefs, divorce can result in them being isolated from their children and ostracized from their families.
- Unhealthy relationship dynamics
Unhealthy codependency plays an important role in why unhappy couples do not break up. They may think that the misery they know is better than the misery of loneliness.
- Lack of self-worth
Low self-esteem can hold partners back. They may believe they don’t deserve the happiness they secretly long for.
- Emotional abuse
Most tragic of all is that when there is a narcissistic partner, people under the abusive control of the narcissist (lighting in particular) usually become insecure about all aspects of themselves, from the way they view themselves to their mental stability and intelligence. They have come to believe that all problems are their fault. Many partners of narcissists do not realize what is happening and find it almost impossible to leave. “
Related: It Took Me Years To Quiet The Echo Of My Mother’s Sneering Voice
- Repeating childhood patterns
“What is the most important function of the brain? This is not understood by most people and is often overlooked by professionals in our modern, high-tech society. The main function of the brain is to help us survive. In this process, the oldest part of the brain is the strongest. This part is far removed from our thinking brain: it is instinctive, devoid of rational thought, and most of all, difficult to change.
Therein lies the dark secret that makes us so often repeat – and even actively seek out – the bad things we experienced during early childhood. To cite one of the worst examples from many of the clients I was coaching, they were victims of rape as children and then married a rapist, and they didn’t know it at the time.
Here’s how the old part of the brain works. We survived these difficult periods of our early lives. In the automatic “logic” of this ancient brain, this means that this type of environment helped us survive. Therefore, it unconsciously, but powerfully points us in the same unfortunate direction. To some extent, we continue to survive, despite the unfortunate circumstances.
- Shock bonds
“You may stay in bad relationships because of trauma. You can’t leave, even though you know the relationship is devastating for you. This connection develops from two features of abusive relationships. The first is a power imbalance. If your partner is willing to leave, he or she has more social power Much of you and the other is intermittent good and bad treatment.
This means that sometimes your behavior is rewarded, and sometimes it is not. Because you never know when you will receive your reward in the form of a loving and caring partner, you keep trying to gain approval. Each time you go through this cycle of good and bad treatment, the emotional connection you feel with your partner becomes stronger. This makes it difficult for you to leave.”
- Lack of self-worth
Low self-esteem can hold partners back. They may believe they don’t deserve the happiness they secretly long for.
- Emotional abuse
Most tragic of all is that when there is a narcissistic partner, people under the abusive control of the narcissist (lighting in particular) usually become insecure about all aspects of themselves, from the way they view themselves to their mental stability and intelligence. They have come to believe that all problems are their fault. Many partners of narcissists do not realize what is happening and find it almost impossible to leave. “
Related: If A Guy Says Any Of These 12 Phrases, ‘Run Before You Even Knew How To Crawl’
- Repeating childhood patterns
“What is the most important function of the brain? This is not understood by most people and is often overlooked by professionals in our modern, high-tech society. The main function of the brain is to help us survive. In this process, the oldest part of the brain is the strongest. This part is far removed from our thinking brain: it is instinctive, devoid of rational thought, and most of all, difficult to change.
Therein lies the dark secret that makes us so often repeat – and even actively seek out – the bad things we experienced during early childhood. To cite one of the worst examples from many of the clients I was coaching, they were victims of rape as children and then married a rapist, and they didn’t know it at the time.
Here’s how the old part of the brain works. We survived these difficult periods of our early lives. In the automatic “logic” of this ancient brain, this means that this type of environment helped us survive. Therefore, it unconsciously, but powerfully points us in the same unfortunate direction. To some extent, we continue to survive, despite the unfortunate circumstances.
- Shock bonds
“You may stay in bad relationships because of trauma. You can’t leave, even though you know the relationship is devastating for you. This connection develops from two features of abusive relationships. The first is a power imbalance. If your partner is willing to leave, he or she has more social power Much of you and the other is intermittent good and bad treatment.
This means that sometimes your behavior is rewarded, and sometimes it is not. Because you never know when you will receive your reward in the form of a loving and caring partner, you keep trying to gain approval. Each time you go through this cycle of good and bad treatment, the emotional connection you feel with your partner becomes stronger. This makes it difficult for you to leave.”