How do you deal with a person addicted to drama?

In theory, avoidance is the obvious answer, but we all know it’s not always that simple in reality. Especially when the drama queen (or king) is a friend, colleague, or family member.

Being around interesting people can be very stressful, so if you don’t know how to deal with it, you risk getting caught up in their toxicity.

Like a bad infection, the sooner you notice symptoms, the more effectively you can deal with them and reduce their impact on your life.

So let’s cut to the chase and go over the seven toxic signs that someone is addicted to drama and how you can best deal with them:

1) They use excessive language
A person who craves drama has a penchant for exaggerated words or phrases.

No, they don’t cry wolf. What they’re telling you has probably happened, but I bet it’s not as exaggerated as it seems.

Imagine your colleague storms into the office crying, saying that her friend canceled her dinner plans, and that she thinks it’s because her friend hates her.

Instead of fanning the flames, respond with: “I get it, canceling is always disappointing. But did you check up on her and ask her why she canceled? She probably had a very good reason, and it may not have anything to do with you.”

See what I did there?

You sympathized, but you also kept it real. In doing so, I pulled them away from potential collapse and gently nudged them toward sanity.

2) They do the editorial
Editorial writing means adding personal biases, judgments, or feelings into what is supposed to be an objective statement—and this is something dramatic people truly excel at.

Here’s what I mean:

They are the type of people who turn a simple traffic accident into a discussion about how reckless and selfish every driver is.

They can also be the type to get stuck in a short line in front of the cashier and start talking about how consumer culture affects everyone.

Just for clarification:

We are all entitled to our opinions and are free to share them at any time. But when every trivial event is used as an opportunity to speak up or take a jab at someone, it just screams “I need drama in my life.”

So how do you deal with article editors?

Taking attention away from the person’s opinion and keeping it focused on the issue.

Let’s look at our traffic example again:

You respond to their editorial by asking: “What really happened? Was anyone hurt?”

This way, you keep your focus on the real issue, without stirring up unnecessary drama.

3) Their social media is hyperactive
If you want to know if someone likes drama, follow their social media posts.

What do these posts look like?

• Strong, polarized opinions on controversial topics. They love the debate that arises from this. So don’t be surprised if they are also keyboard warriors in controversial posts created by others.
• Passive-aggressive situations. They love it when people wonder who their post is referring to, and they especially love it even more when people try to extract information from them.
• Relationship struggles. Whether it’s a simple argument or a big breakup, they can’t help but spread it on social media. Not only do they feed off the drama this creates, but they also enjoy gaining the sympathy of others.
• Vague Posts It can be as simple as a crying emoji, a cheating quote, or carefully curated song lyrics – anything without context. Their goal is to arouse their followers’ curiosity, speculation, and thus create drama.
• If you see this in your feed, do not participate in any way. Don’t comment, don’t like, don’t share. Because doing any of these things feeds their thirst for drama.

And if you want to completely escape the social media scene, the quickest way is to block it.

But if you don’t want to be that extreme, unfollowing them will be enough. This way, you’ll stay connected without having to watch theatrics.

4) Their love of controversy extends to real life as well
A person who is addicted to drama also has a habit of stirring things up in real life.

They have creative ways of doing this, so you need to be vigilant.

Here are just some of them:

They use misinformation, such as half-truths or half-lies, just to incite reactions from people involved in or affected by the controversy.

They can also do this through selective sharing – again, eliminating only the parts that will elicit the desired reaction.

It is also common for them to show only the two extremes of a situation: black and white. They will not reveal gray areas or possibilities for compromise because there is no drama when people meet halfway.

If you find yourself caught in the middle of such disagreements, make sure to remain calm and withhold any reactions until you do the following two things:

Check the facts and ask for context.

Verify all information first. Ask about context too. Remember that things said alone mean completely different when said in a given context.

5) They like to drive pegs between people

If they are not successful in using issues to create drama, they resort to pitting individuals against each other.

They do this by exploiting existing tensions and escalating them by taking sides or adding more negative input.

If there is no existing conflict, they create conflict by using people’s emotions and, unfortunately, misinformation to turn individuals against each other.

Have you ever encountered someone who seems to enjoy watching their friends fight with each other instead of helping them find a solution? This is how a person addicted to drama behaves.

So, if you interact with them again, take what they say against someone with a grain of salt, especially when it’s something negative.

If you are the target of their attack, you can talk to them directly and tell them that you are aware of the tricks they are trying to pull and how you feel about it.

But you have to realize that this can go both ways:

They may stop once they realize you’ve caught on to their game.

Or, because they thrive on drama, they may play the victim and try to paint you as more of the bad guy.

6) They resort to the worst scenario
No matter how good their life is, a dramatic person will always believe that tragedy is just around the corner.

They could be at the airport about to go on a trip around the world, but all they can think about is how the plane might crash.

They just bought a new home, but they imagine the house catching fire and the many reasons why their insurance might not cover it.

They also like to bring up simple situations: those who think they might lose their leg after getting a small cut on their toe.

If you find yourself around a similar person, it’s important to acknowledge that bullying can sometimes be a symptom of an underlying mental health condition. So don’t immediately invalidate their feelings or concerns.

Instead, show empathy without necessarily agreeing with their tragic thoughts.

Try and encourage them to focus their thinking on the current reality. Help them evaluate the actual likelihood of catastrophic scenarios occurring.

If you think their thinking pattern is starting to affect their daily functioning, you may need to encourage them or help them seek professional help.

7) They have a long history of messy relationships

While most of us long for peaceful, loving relationships, people who are addicted to drama are allergic to it.

For this reason, a person with a strong tendency towards drama also tends to have a series of tense relationships.

Of course, disagreements and misunderstandings are part of healthy relationships, but if you have a partner who has a habit of creating something out of nothing, don’t reward their behavior.

If you give them the reaction they want, you’re setting yourself up for a never-ending cycle of dramatic behavior.

They love to argue about anything and everything. If you stay silent to keep the peace, it will be useless because they will also use that as another reason to fight.

Try to reach out to them and tell them how their passion for drama affects you and your relationship. Ask them what is causing this behavior and if there is anything you can do to help them avoid it.

Withdraw if you have to

It may not be easy, and it may be very painful, but sometimes we have no choice but to break up with the dramatic people in our lives.