Paying attention to how you treat your spouse and family has never been more important than now.

During this unprecedented quarantine period, toxic communication patterns in the way you treat others will be more evident than ever.

Little things have a way of becoming big things when you spend a lot of time with someone. Now is the time to learn how to stop toxic communication patterns before they hurt your relationship further.

Related: If He Does These 7 Shady (But Easy-To-Miss) Things, You’re In A Toxic Relationship

Just as holiday gatherings are notorious for bringing out the worst in families, being stuck in an apartment with your loved one 24/7 can reveal your vulnerabilities yours and theirs.

For this reason, being in quarantine with your partner provides you with a unique opportunity to pay closer attention to your behavior.

This is important because if you are not careful and attentive, your selfish and immature tendencies are likely to rise to the surface and wreak havoc on your hard-earned intimacy and connection.

Marriage research indicates that it takes a 5:1 ratio of positive investments versus negative investments to keep a marriage strong. This is because it is easier to remember and respond to bad things than good things.

So, what does this mean for you on a practical level? What steps can you take to ensure stability and balance with your life partner?

There are times when you feel lazy in your relationship, and times when you are not at your best. that’s normal. However, some toxic behaviors will always interfere with the success of a relationship.

Knowing what to look for can help you be more careful and take responsibility for your side of the equation. I invite you to take a moment each day to reflect and recalibrate.

Here are 7 toxic communication patterns that you should pay attention to during quarantine so that they do not harm your relationship.

1. Cash.

Criticism often appears in the form of blame, or when sentences begin with “You always…” and “You never…”.

2. Contempt.

Contempt is criticism reinforced by hostility or disgust. This often manifests itself with eye-rolling, sarcasm, or sarcasm. It’s the exact opposite of respect.

3. Defense.

Defensiveness is when you cannot take responsibility for your part of the interaction and go into defensive mode instead.

You’ll realize when you do that when your partner says something, and instead of acknowledging it, you start responding with, “Yes, but…” When you feel defensive, you stop being able to listen.

4. Withdrawal and avoidance.

Withdrawal occurs when someone is willing to participate in an important discussion but is unwilling to continue when it becomes uncomfortable.

Avoidance is when a person is unwilling to engage in a particular discussion at all.

Related: 5 Things You Don’t Realize You Do Because You’re Addicted To Toxic Relationships

5. Escalation.

Escalation occurs when partners allow a small argument to develop into a major argument, as their feelings become more aroused and the stakes increase.

This usually results in one or both people “losing their temper” and becoming hurtful toward each other.

6. Annulment.

Invalidation occurs when one partner projects the other’s thoughts, feelings, or personality.

This can be a very subtle thing, like when your partner tells you not to worry about something that worries you and you feel rejected by them.

Or it can be more obvious, such as when you resort to insults or belittle their opinions.

7. Unfair assumptions.

This happens when someone makes unfair assumptions about what they think their partner is thinking.

It happens when you hear things more negatively than they were intended, believe the worst instead of the best, or see only what you expect to see.

Now that you’ve read the list, you’ve probably realized that you and your partner are guilty of some of these bad habits. Don’t panic!

Recognition is the first step toward being able to reduce the frequency and impact of toxic communication patterns. You have to recognize the enemy before you can eliminate him!

Make sure you’re in the right place to start an important conversation. If you feel anxious or angry, wait until you don’t.

2. Make sure you have your partner’s full attention before speaking.

Doing this ensures that they will be able to listen to you better, which is of course what you want.

3. Make sure you give your partner your full attention.

When your partner has something to tell you, make sure you give them your full attention as well. If you’re feeling distracted or upset about something, express it and consider choosing another time to talk.

4. Try not to assume.

Ask for clarity when there is a misunderstanding. Try saying: “Is this what you meant?” If you are not sure or confused.

5. Search for gold.

When you look for the best in your partner, you have a much better chance of finding it.

6. Express your appreciation daily.

When you find gold, make sure you say something about it. Find a way to compliment your partner every day. (“Thank you as always…” or “I appreciate the way you handled it…”)

7. Avoid taking your anxiety out on your partner.

Don’t use your partner as a punching bag for your emotions.

These unusual times can stir up all kinds of fears and insecurities within you, which you will deal with in your unique way. But what you don’t want to do is take out your anxiety and stress on your partner.

Instead, you want to put in the extra effort to keep your connection strong. A little self-reflection can go a long way when it comes to loving each other well.

So, let’s practice paying more attention to how you act towards your partner, and how you can show your feelings of love in practical and clear ways.