The hardest thing after a breakup is waking up every morning confused about how you feel.
Torn between feeling pain, emptiness, or both.
Sleep seems to be the only way to shut out the thousands of images and thoughts running through your mind.
We look back at our past relationships and realize how happy we once were until they consumed us.
It’s where we let our partner make most of the decisions that sometimes don’t benefit the relationship, it’s just him personally.
Related: 6 Harsh Reasons Why Smart People Stay In Toxic Relationships
We have come to love the idea of being with each other, but we forget to consider the consequences that come with it.
We forget that cruelty and ignorance are not normal.
No matter how badly you were treated before, it is never an excuse to do the same to others.
As humans, we always choose to believe in someone and forgive them despite feeling empty in return.
Reciprocity is not a big issue for us anymore, as long as we can give them our best without asking them to do the same in return.
Anything too little or too much is never enough and is never right.
Therefore, most relationships fail.
Here are some things I learned after being in a toxic relationship:
- The process of moving on and getting back on track is never the friendliest thing you can do for your hurting heart but building yourself back up is
Your future self will thank you for it.
It won’t be easy.
It may take hundreds of nights of crying, days on end of meltdowns, and constantly asking yourself what you did wrong that put you in this situation.
- You will find it difficult to open up about yourself again
The trauma you experienced will be the biggest obstacle as you struggle to open your heart again.
You were hurt so much that you built a wall around your heart to be safe.
Pushing people away has become your new defense mechanism.
But remember, it is possible to open up again.
Related: 5 Low-Key Toxic Habits That Keep You Stuck In Bad Relationships
- Confidence is your biggest enemy
It’s hard to trust someone again after you’ve been hurt.
It makes you believe that all people who come into your life want to hurt you and that they will eventually leave.
You will find it difficult to believe again.
When someone tries to break down your walls and assures you that they won’t hurt you, you won’t believe them.
Because you’re used to hearing the same thing. It will be hard to trust again but remember that you will.
- There will be days, and not just days but nights when you constantly ask yourself where you went wrong
Overthinking will become your favorite pastime.
From noon to midnight, you will constantly have thoughts that haunt you.
You will always doubt yourself.
You will always look at the smallest details about your flaws.
You will ask yourself if you love too little or too much.
You will feel as if you haven’t done enough.
- You will always wonder if you are enough
Because if I were, how come he didn’t stay?
Why are you in a situation where you constantly doubt your worth?
But believe your friends when they tell you that you haven’t done anything wrong and that you’re done.
because you are my love.
Your worth never reflects his absence.
It doesn’t make you any less of a person just because they chose someone else over you.
It’s never your fault that you were left behind.
Because the hurt you feel is just a reminder that you can endure and that you can love again.
It will never be your weakness, it will be your greatest strength. Flexibility.
Related: 9 Very Concerning Warning Signs You’re In A Toxic Relationship
- There will come a point in your life when all you want to do is play
It’s as if seriousness has gone out of your vocabulary.
This is just a phase.
You can date all you want without being in a relationship.
It’s okay to research things and try to figure them out.
There’s no pressure of commitment, but also never be afraid of it.
You’ll know when you’re ready because you’ll feel it.
It will take time.
- Your deepest desire is to have one person who will never leave you
This is the hardest thing to comprehend.
When you’re used to being neglected, it will feel weird when someone treats you better.
Most of the time, you won’t know how to react.
You’ll think this is going to turn into another heartbreak because it’s too good to be true.
They say that the chains of habit are so light that they cannot be felt until they are heavy enough to break.
But they never said you wouldn’t be able to.
