If you have ever dealt with a narcissist, you know that it can be a complex and difficult experience.

It’s more complicated when you’re with them, and they know it.

Believe me, they will come back with varying degrees of manipulation, gaslighting, and emotional turmoil.

Narcissists thrive on control and admiration, and when they feel that someone has seen beyond their veneer, their reactions can be intense and unpredictable.

In this article, we’ll dive into what psychologists say you can expect when a narcissist realizes you like them.

Understanding these tactics can prepare you to handle the situation with more awareness and flexibility.

Whether you’re navigating a personal or professional relationship, recognizing these signs is the first step in protecting your health.

Let’s get started.
1) Intense lighting

The moment a narcissist feels exposed, one of the first things he or she may experience is an escalation of gaslighting.

Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic where the narcissist makes you question your reality, memory, or perceptions. They do this to create confusion and make you doubt your judgment.

For example, they may deny something happened or distort facts to fit their story.

When they know you’ve understood them, they may intensify the technique. They may claim that your perception of their behavior is wrong or that you are overanalyzing things.

They may even accuse you of being a narcissist, as funny as that sounds.

This type of psychological manipulation is a tool for them to regain control and ensure that they remain in a position of power within the relationship.

It is important to remember that this is not a reflection of your judgment but rather a defensive reaction when they feel threatened.

2) Flashes of weakness

In a sudden turn of events, the narcissist may momentarily let his guard down and show signs of weakness when he realizes that you have seen through his facade.

At its core, narcissism often masks deep feelings of insecurity and fragile self-esteem, according to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5).

So when they feel exposed, they may instinctively try to elicit sympathy or create closer connections by sharing personal stories or expressing self-doubt.

This can feel like a real moment of connection and it’s easy to see it as a huge accomplishment.

However, it is important to remember that these instances can sometimes serve as a distraction strategy to direct attention away from their narcissistic behavior and toward the perceived victim instead.

While this may seem like an opportunity for understanding and empathy, it is necessary to tread carefully to avoid being drawn back into the cycle of manipulation.

3) Love bombing

When a narcissist feels that you like him, he may resort to a tactic known as love bombing.

This includes showering you with affection, attention, and compliments in an attempt to win you back. You may receive unexpected gifts, hear big declarations of love, or be treated like you are the most important person in your life.

The goal is to make you feel special and valued so that the overwhelming positivity overshadows any doubts or negative feelings toward the narcissist.

However, this is usually a temporary phase used to regain control and is often followed by a return to their usual narcissistic behavior.

Don’t fall in love with it, no matter how tempting it is. It’s just a tactic – and they will go right back to their old ways once they lure you back.

4) A clear change in heart

When the narcissist realizes that you have seen behind his mask, he may seem to have a sudden change of heart.

They may begin to act more considerate and attentive than before and make an effort to understand your feelings and needs.

They may also apologize for their past behavior and promise to change for the better.

Like love bombing, this can be very comforting. It can give you hope that things might finally get better.

The problem is that real change requires time and consistent effort. So change overnight? This sounds a bit suspicious, doesn’t it?

While it’s natural to want to believe in their promises, it’s essential to protect your emotional health. Wait and see if their actions match their words over an extended period before you let your guard down completely.

5) Sudden interest in your life

Do you remember those moments when you wish you could pay more attention to your interests, your day at work, or your thoughts about the world?

Oddly enough, once a narcissist feels that you have possessed them, they may suddenly develop an intense interest in all of these things.

They may start by asking about your day, showing interest in your hobbies, or engaging in topics that interest you.

This may seem refreshing and you may find yourself thinking, “Finally, they are interested in my life!”

While it’s nice to feel heard and seen, it’s also important to keep in mind that this may be another tactic to take back control.

Watch for genuine engagement versus superficial interest designed to win you over.

6) Excessive generosity

When a narcissist feels that you have understood him, he may suddenly become overly generous.

For example, imagine a friend who has never cared to share or give. Suddenly, they start showering you with gifts or offering help in ways they never did before.

They may insist on paying for dinner or surprise you with your favorite dessert, which is completely out of character for their personality.

Of course, it’s nice to receive gifts and favors, but the problem is that these generous acts can sometimes be a strategy for regaining control and trust.

Pay attention to the balance in your relationship and whether these actions are genuine or a means to an end.

7) Attempts to isolate you

Another strategy a narcissist may try when he or she knows you’ve gotten it is to isolate you.

This may mean discouraging you from spending time with friends and family or making you feel guilty for wanting to do things independently.

They might say things like: “I thought we were spending the day together” or “Why do you need to see them when you’re with me?”

The goal is to make you feel dependent on them, creating an environment in which they can have more control.

It is important not to fall into this trap. Maintain your connections and independence.

Remember, a healthy relationship is one in which both parties can interact freely with others and enjoy personal space without feeling guilty or manipulated.

FinalThoughts: Prioritize your well-being

Ultimately, when dealing with a narcissist who knows you got him, the most important thing is to prioritize your well-being.

They may cycle through a range of behaviors — from love bombing to isolation — in an attempt to regain control. It can feel like an emotional rollercoaster, leaving you confused and drained.

In situations like this, remember that it’s okay to put yourself first. Seek support from friends, family, or trusted professionals. Practice self-care and set boundaries that protect your mental and emotional health.