There are several things a narcissist will do when you walk away. This is when their negative actions will become amplified. Here’s what you need to know to stay safe.
The things a narcissist does can drain you and damage your self-esteem. However, when they discover that you’re finally trying to end things or walk away, there’s a real problem waiting for you.
A narcissist’s first reaction when they smell your plans to break free is shock. Then they’ll prepare to give up control of the situation.
Things a Narcissist Does When You Walk Away
In addition to learning how to tolerate a narcissist when you’re in a relationship or dealing with a family member, you should also learn how to detach when necessary. Narcissists never want to lose their supply, so they will do everything they can to keep you under their control. Let’s examine some of their strategies.
- Promises of Change
We’ll start with simple promises, which can be very effective. But try not to fall for them. If they wanted to change, they would have done so much sooner. Yes, in theory, a narcissist can change, but it’s unlikely that they will. And they’ll promise you radical changes, too.
Related : 11 Reasons Why You Should Not Stay Friends With The Narcissist After Your Breakup
However, the promises will be exactly what you wish they’d done before. You see, they’re paying attention to the things you say, but not to become a better person. They’re listening to gather ammunition later. Do you see how that works?
- They Use Threats
According to psychotherapist Dr. Eleanor Greenberg, narcissists can’t understand anyone’s different perspectives. So, they see it as a personal attack when you walk away from them. To counter this, they threaten you.
These threats can be either threats to destroy your reputation or even physical threats. Some of these threats may surprise you. They’re doing their best to maintain a fake image of themselves.
- They Become Clingy
This is a strange thing, I’ve witnessed recently. Remember when you tried so hard to spend time with your narcissistic loved ones only to have them push you away? Yeah, that was painful.
But when things turn around, when you find out, you will start to withdraw on your own. And when the narcissist notices this, they will immediately want to spend more time with you. Again, don’t be fooled. They are not trying to change their previous behaviors. They are just feeling threatened by losing their victim.
- They Will Rage
There is something called “narcissistic rage,” and you have witnessed it before. On the surface, it seems almost funny, but please don’t laugh. That makes it worse.
Related : 15 Things Narcissists Say and What They Actually Mean
Narcissistic rage is dramatic, loud, and can easily upset you if you let it. When you walk away or criticize the narcissist, you may see this rage coming. The goal of narcissistic rage is basically to assert dominance over the opposing person, which is you.
- Guilt
The things a narcissist does can be really malicious. Well, let me explain the guilt process. When you start to walk away from the narcissist, you may become quiet and withdrawn. When you do this, it drives the narcissist crazy, and they want to know why.
When they realize your complaint is about them, they will counter it with their own. They will say three things to your one issue, and make sure you seem like the real problem. If they succeed in making you doubt even for a moment, you will start to feel guilty.
This is the narcissist’s goal, and when it happens, they have succeeded. Beware.
- Gossiping with Friends
When a narcissist realizes that your relationship is falling apart, they have to act fast. One of the things a narcissist will do is tell everyone about your business. But here’s the problem! They will tell you things from their perspective, adding lies and dramatic exaggerations. The goal is to either get you back or get your mutual friends on their side.
- Stalking
Like clinginess, a narcissist will also stalk you. Whether you’re still living with them or not, they will show up at events unexpectedly or follow you to visit friends. The stalking usually doesn’t get any worse than this, but it is annoying.
The best way to mitigate some of this discomfort is to always be prepared to see them, as this defeats their surprise tactic.
Always Be Prepared for These Things
When you decide to walk away from a narcissist, understand that they will notice. And when they do, you will need to know how to counter each step.
One of the most important things to remember is to stay calm. Don’t let narcissists notice when they are affecting you, and they will affect you. Not showing your discomfort will help you control yourself, and therefore you will be better able to deal with the things that the narcissist does when you are away from them.
