Ask a narcissist if he or she is dependable and he or she will say, “I’m the most responsible person you know. You can always count on me.” And they can be. But when the rubber meets the road (the old saying about being tested), narcissists seem to evade accountability.
Why? Narcissists will gladly be responsible for things they consider worthwhile, especially when it provides them with an opportunity to be the center of attention. However, when others place the responsibility on the narcissist, the narcissist sees it as an attempt to control them.
This violates one of their mottos: No one will have power over them. So they run away from all responsibility. How? Using these narcissistic tactics.
Related: How You Can (Accidentally) Raise A Narcissist — And How Not To
#Here are 7 bullying and intimidation tactics that narcissists use to avoid accountability.
1. Intimidation/blame
The narcissist begins bullying the person who is trying to hold him accountable. Often, they resort to insults and belittlements to assert their dominance over the other person.
Once a subordinate position is established, they blame the person for trying to make the narcissist seem less than superior.
2. Accusation/projection
To circumvent any accountability, the narcissist preempts the attack by accusing someone else.
They usually choose someone who is overly responsible, codependent, and worships the narcissist. The narcissist then projects the things he is responsible for onto the other person. Thus, escape before attack.
3. Argumentation/exhaustion
This is the simplest tactic with great instant results. When confronted, the narcissist picks out a small detail and discusses it to an incalculable degree. If the other person counters, he chooses another small point and continually wears down his opponent.
Exhausted, frustrated, and upset, the other person gives up on holding the narcissist accountable.
Related: 9 Obvious Signs That You’re Dealing With A Narcissist
4. Reject/Rewrite
One way to avoid responsibility is for the narcissist to deny that he has any responsibility. Even if this item were written down, the narcissist would make excuses and rewrite history.
Often, they take on the role of victim by saying that they were forced to take responsibility, when in fact they did so willingly. This tactic often leaves the other person questioning themselves and their memory.
5. Diversion/attack
This method starts with something very trivial exploding. The narcissist then exaggerates the matter to incite the other person and distract them from what is going on.
When a narcissist lights a small fire, it is to keep the focus off the hell somewhere else. Transference is done to drain resources, energy, and time so that the narcissist can attack when the other person is vulnerable.
6. Fear/Avoidance
Narcissists can take a person’s simple fear and turn it into paranoia. Their charisma is used to devastating effect as they weave a believable story with a very shocking result.
Once the other person feels fear, the narcissist uses the other person’s terror as justification to avoid responsibility. They often indicate that the other person is reactionary and therefore any requests from the other person should be ignored.
