The popularity of using personality disorder names as buzzwords for “bad guys” (or “bad guys”) has been rising steadily for a long time, and not without reason.
The six personality disorders currently recognized by the psychiatric community – are narcissistic personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, antisocial personality disorder, obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (not to be confused with the more common obsessive-compulsive disorder, i.e. OCD), and avoidant personality. Schizotypal personality disorder and schizotypal personality disorder – these are truly terrible mental health conditions.
This is exactly the problem.
These are not ordinary labels, but rather serious diagnoses of mental disorders, and should not be freely and unjustly assigned by people who are not trained and licensed to do so.
And after…
Are you dating a narcissist?!?!
Does your ex suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)?!?!
Everyone thinks their ex is a psychopath – how can you be sure?!?!
Do these screaming headlines sound familiar?
Contrary to the myths that develop in too many relationship advice columns, people with personality disorders are not evil. They have a mental illness.
They don’t behave badly on purpose. They act the way their brain tells them.
According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Health Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5):
“Personality disorders are a class of mental disorders characterized by maladaptive patterns of behavior, perception, and internal experience that appear in many contexts and deviate markedly from those accepted in the individual’s culture. These patterns develop early, are inflexible, and are associated with distress or disability.” big.
If you’re in an emotionally abusive relationship of any kind, whether someone is physically hurting you, emotionally manipulating you, or attacking you, you need to stop letting them do it. It doesn’t matter if the reason for their behavior is because they have a disorder, their mom was mean to them or they look like the kid who bullied them in middle school.
If you have ever been involved in an abusive relationship, try to think back to the behaviors they displayed when you first met them and fell in love. They may not have seemed like big problems at the time.
Related: The Real Reason Abusers Never Apologize
7 Signs that you are in a relationship with someone who is trying to manipulate you:
- It puts you through a high-pressure, intense, and sometimes urgent period of courtship.
- He pressures you to commit to an exclusive relationship before you know each other well or feel completely comfortable doing so.
- He explains his unreasonable level of jealousy by offering copious compliments about how much he wants you or statements about how “you don’t understand what guys/girls are really like.”
- He subtly puts you down, often disguising his comments as friendly advice or constructive criticism.
- Ignore your feelings and achievements.
- He offers conditional apologies for his bad behavior, i.e., “I only did it because…”
- He makes your gut look funny and like something isn’t working when he’s around.
If you can identify “yes” to any one or more of the above, it does not mean he is a narcissist. These disorders are difficult to properly define, describe, and identify.
In fact, according to an article in the Journal of Psychiatry by Dr. Joel Paris, research shows that “practitioners do not consistently make this diagnosis.”
Related: The Man I Dated Filled Me With Laughter, But The Man I Married Filled Me With Tears
Dr. Paris offers the following three possible reasons why this might happen:
- It takes a lot of experience
“Making [a diagnosis of any personality disorder] requires expertise. Personality disorders often appear to lack specific symptom criteria, since many of their features describe problems in interpersonal functioning that require clinical judgment for accurate assessment.”
- There are not many treatment methods currently available that have been proven effective anyway
“Resistance to diagnosing patients with a personality disorder may be based on the idea that these conditions are untreatable, or at least not treatable with [medications] that have come to dominate the treatment of many other disorders.”
- As compassionate (and morally charged) professionals, they must “not harm.”
“Doctors may want to avoid making diagnoses associated with stigma.”
I would also suggest adding a fourth possible reason to this list…
- People with personality disorders tend to be very litigious
This means that people with these disorders are more likely than the rest of the population to file lawsuits.
According to the Out Of The Fog website and information forum:
“Some people with personality disorders gravitate toward conflict and will use litigation as a tool to maintain conflict or support a need to feel powerful. Sometimes, the mere threat of a lawsuit is enough to control a person and make them ‘give in.’” Many people and organizations will turn over significant resources or positions to litigating bullies just to avoid the legal fees, inconvenience, and risk of legal action.
Do you want to risk your license, the potential cost of protecting yourself from a malpractice suit, and the subsequent rise in the cost of malpractice insurance (whether you prevail or not) by diagnosing someone with a disorder for which there is currently no proven treatment?
Related: The Most Critical Marriage Lesson I Learned In Couples Counseling
I don’t, most likely.
So, how do you know if the person you’re dealing with has a personality disorder or is just an idiot?
The answer is…it doesn’t matter!
People can be dangerous even if they are not “evil.” They can be dangerous even if they are not mentally ill.
It may be unhealthy for you to participate in it even if it is not technically dangerous.
Remember, just because you thought you liked someone, or you accepted a date with them or paid for some of their meals, or let them pay for a few of your meals, or had sex with them, or told them you loved them or whatever, you never will. Under no obligation to continue seeing someone who makes you feel bad or uncomfortable in any way.
Researchers are striving to achieve a clearer understanding of these disorders, more accurate diagnostic criteria, and more effective treatment methods.
According to an article in The Future, there is “a new branch of study known as computational psychiatry.” Through this area of research, “virtual realities and digital environments have already proven their ability to help researchers study and even treat mental disorders. Virtual reality can be used to help former soldiers cope with symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder, and it has also been shown to help people overcome These symptoms. Depression by increasing self-compassion.”
But at present, we only know what we know.
No one knows better than you what is right and what is wrong in your particular circumstances.
No matter how much compassion you feel for someone’s struggles, you do not deserve to be mistreated or abused. If someone tries to tell you that your perceptions of what you’re thinking and feeling are wrong, run, not walk, to the nearest exit.
now.
Related: People Who Take Tons Of Selfies May Have A Mental Disorder
