When you deal with passive aggression in a relationship, you will notice that everything your partner says does not match his behavior. He’ll say, “I’m fine,” but in his behavior you can sense a dose of pent-up anger.
Every time you try to have an open and honest conversation with him, you hit a brick wall. It seems futile to try to get him to open up and tell you how he really feels.
He’s secretly aggressive. He would never publicly show his frustration or admit that someone had made him crazy.
He tries to remain calm, calm and collected but somehow his behavior tells a completely different story. You can detect negativity and anger no matter how hard you try to cover it up.
The things that a passive aggressive person does have some similarities to those of a covert narcissist. However, the covert narcissist will take things to the extreme in a more toxic manner.
Here are some signs that you may be in a passive-aggressive relationship:
They would rather avoid admitting that they are angry.
You can’t have an honest and open conversation with them. They will keep their distance instead of telling you what the problem is. They never admit they are angry.
They would rather keep everything bottled up than go ahead and tell you anything. They will tell you they are fine even if they are far from it.
They have their own little tactics to make themselves feel superior.
They never do what they say they will do. They always leave you expecting something. You wait for them to call or text but they never do it when they say they will, they procrastinate and take their time because they know you expect it.
They also wait a long time before texting you. They are deliberately late, so you are always the one waiting.
They avoid conflict.
They will do anything to avoid a fight, confrontation, or any kind of rowdy discussion. They would rather agree with everything you say than publicly show their disagreement.
They may blame you for something but you can never expect them to be honest about it.
They blame you for everything.
They manipulate you into believing that everything that is wrong is your fault. They convince you that you are the one responsible even when you know that is far from the truth. They will even use mild language to get what they want. This is how you know you are in a toxic relationship.
They forget everything that has no direct relation to them.
Like your birthday, a dinner date, something they said they would do but never actually got around to doing and similar things. This is because deep down, there is nothing more important than them. In the end, you end up frustrated.
They may reject something but they never offer a solution.
They won’t hesitate to reject your plans for a weekend getaway, a new place to stay, a night on the town or the like, but they won’t bother to explain their point of view or offer some sort of solution to the matter.
They use hurtful comments disguised as compliments.
They rely on sarcasm to express their displeasure. They tend to say one thing and mean the exact opposite. No matter how nicely they turn insults into compliments, it will basically be very hurtful.
It’s not easy to deal with, let alone get involved with, a passive-aggressive person. Don’t try to give him a taste of his own medicine, as that will only make matters worse.
He will deny everything and take the role of the victim. Not to mention, by acting like him you risk becoming just like him, which is something you definitely don’t want.
Don’t try to change it either. He can only change if he is aware of his passive aggressive behavior and if he wants to change.
You may say that his hidden feelings are leading you nowhere, but he will most likely refuse to listen to you. Keep yourself and your emotions safe. If you see that he is not changing, the best thing you can do is stay away from him.
