Okay, I’m going to ask you to sit down before you go into a real state of shock.

That’s right.

I put the words “narcissist” and “fake” in the same sentence. Who would have believed that?!

I’m just kidding, of course; we all know they’re fake as silicone! The signs you need are right there in front of you.

Let’s go through them one by one, so you can add them to your anti-narcissism toolkit.

1 Their Words Don’t Match Their Actions

When someone tells you they love you, it’s a wonderful feeling. But there comes a point when you have to convince yourself that these are just words, meaningless unless they’re accompanied by a loving touch.

Related : Toxic Money Habits of Narcissists

When they treat you with respect, when they listen to you after a hard day at work, when they support you during difficult times, when they remain loyal, when they compromise, when they consider your feelings.

That’s love. An abuser can’t love you, but they tell you they do. He may make promises and indulge you in a night of passionate sex—but that’s not love.

You have to recognize the difference between the two, and begin to see love in its fullest sense…

Nothing more, nothing less.

Only then can you define and build a healthy relationship.

2 Love Falls—Then Cools

Love is hot, then cold, yes, then no, high, low, wrong, then right—there are no gray areas with narcissists.

They’re either completely in love or completely in love. You get addicted to the happy moments, and you learn to push through the bad moments, knowing that there will be more happy moments soon.

Ask yourself—is this true love? Is love being cold and cruel one moment, then declaring your love a few minutes later?

Related : Why Narcissists Are Stuck in Their Ways: 7 Unchangeable Traits

That’s not fair, is it?

But they’ll treat you this way to keep you on your toes, unaware of what’s ahead.

That’s a level of caution I wouldn’t advise anyone to take.

3 Everything is Conditional

I’ll do it, only if…

I do so much for you, and you can’t even manage it.

After all I’ve done for you, this is how you reward me.

I won’t be satisfied with you until you start arranging the house better than you already do.

Love is available, but you have to achieve something in the narcissist’s eyes to earn it.

This constant temptation of the bait you can take is there, but the narcissist keeps it slightly out of reach, preventing you from having it.

It’s all intentional, but it’s like a false love connection coming your way…

…which means the narcissist always gets away with not loving you fully, blaming them for it.

4 You Always Feel Unworthy in Their Presence

What is this?

The people I ask can’t pinpoint the exact reason. They simply feel like they don’t live up to expectations, no matter how hard they try.

And these are successful people.

Good people. They have jobs, hobbies, morals; everything.

But there’s a catch, and it affects you every time you’re with them.

Related : Why Narcissists Always Seem to Make You Feel Sorry for Them

They have a habit of doing this, you know. And the way they do it is so subtle, you’d be the crazy one pointing it out.

That’s what they enjoy so much—seeing you feel crazy, but not actually being forthright enough to point the finger at them.

They love that subtle control over you.

So weird.

5 They Never Apologize Sincerely

“Sorry” is obvious, I get that. But we say it when we feel like it, and we express it by being careful not to repeat what we’re apologizing for.

It’s not complicated; it’s self-reflection and self-responsibility.

Of course, we say “sorry” when we’ve hurt someone’s feelings, and then we act on that apology.

Narcissists stop saying “sorry.” That’s it. It’s like that’s the end of it for them, and you’re really lucky if you get one.

Often, they won’t even care. However, if they try to pretend to love you, they’ll just say “sorry” without showing an ounce of remorse or guilt for upsetting you.

Turn that into multiple similar instances, and you’re in for a complete takeover.

They promise not to do it again, or they won’t do it again, and without enough work hours, they often resort to the same old toxic tactics.

You’re only suffering because you tolerate it. There’s a way out, guys, and that’s to get the narcissist out of it.

6 You Feel Drained, Not Valued

Why does your relationship with them have to be so draining? What makes you feel like you’re climbing a hill, or even treading water to survive?

It should be easy. It should be fun, warm, exciting, and hopeful.

But it’s not.

That’s because the narcissist won’t value you. They don’t know how, they won’t try, and they don’t believe in it.

I’ve even heard stories of narcissists scoffing at the idea of ​​appreciating their partner.

What nonsense!

I’m not a teenager with a superficial friendship.

I’m a grown-up.

What do you think of me?

Oh, how unfortunate.

I don’t have time for that.

Actually, yes, narcissists have all the time for that—they just don’t do it because they can’t physically, emotionally, and mentally.

So where does that leave you? Your values ​​are vastly different. You want to express your love and feel wanted in this relationship, and that just doesn’t happen.

You can’t talk about it because it always ends in an argument,

So you’re stuck feeling drained.

7 They dump you like you mean nothing to them

Love is love, right?

It’s the best feeling in the world when it’s reciprocated. But surely, if you love someone, you wouldn’t just dump them like that? You’d wish it would last forever, because, well, it is love.

Nope.

Let’s go back in time.

Love is your love. It’s not love for a narcissist, who, at the height of their ego, refuses to engage in such fragile feelings.

Related : How Narcissists Use Guilt to Manipulate You: Unveiling Their Tactics

For them, love is risky and fraught, and ultimately, they don’t feel worthy of it.

They don’t want to commit themselves to one person for the rest of their life in the hope that they’ll one day expose them and leave.

So they pretend to love them. This is the only way to explain why someone is ready to abandon you at any moment.

It’s sad for you, but it’s also a clear sign that you’ve never truly been loved, even when they told you so.

Don’t be surprised by a narcissist’s ability to lie like this—it’s just the tip of the iceberg.