Projection is actually neither positive nor negative, but rather neutral. However, emotion projection usually refers to the process of attributing one’s feelings and characteristics to another person. This is bad.
Projection occurs often, especially in close relationships. A person may blame their partner for being angry, when in fact these feelings are their own. This happens because we often see our feelings in others before we see them in ourselves.
This act can be very frustrating for the person receiving the criticism. This then leads to self-doubt on the part of the victim. You might ask yourself, “Was I really that angry?”
Does my boyfriend show his feelings?
Did you know that it’s easier to see someone else doing the project than to see yourself doing it? correct. This is because projection is almost second nature. But if you’re not sure if this tactic is being used on you, here are some signs.
- Blame you
People who project their feelings onto others are quick to blame others as well. They are afraid that you will notice their shortcomings. So, when something happens, they quickly blame you to cover up the possibility that they are the ones to blame after all.
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This quick finger-pointing is an easy way to spot projections, as no one blames others as quickly as the guilty party. Let’s just say that projection is a cover-up for guilt.
- Victim mentality
A person who shows emotions has a perpetual victim mentality. They have a negative mindset and constantly talk about how someone else did them wrong in some way.
When blaming doesn’t work for them, they will cling to any contrived position that helps strengthen the victim façade. Don’t be surprised if they talk about something negative you did a decade ago. The worst part is that you may not even be guilty of their accusations.
- Overreacting
Have you ever witnessed someone in your family overreact to a situation, completely surprising you? Well, I did, and it’s very annoying.
Exaggerated reactions are usually projections of dark feelings hidden within the manipulative person’s consciousness. When confronted, the Projector will speak loudly, make exaggerated expressions, and ask you why you are attacking him.
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Note that you usually speak in a normal tone while they are screaming. This is because they are projecting their deep feelings and guilt onto you, and trying to make you look like the bad person they are facing.
- Irrational behavior
Those who push their feelings onto you live in a fantasy world. No amount of thinking will make them see the truth, or rather, will make them acknowledge what is true. Either they can’t see what they’re doing, or they’re conscious and can’t stop.
Project-oriented people will display irrational behavior. No matter how ridiculous their words are, they will stick to their story until the end.
- Gaslighting behavior
If you don’t walk away from the person who projects your feelings onto you, you will start to believe what they say.
Gaslighting is essentially an attempt to convince you of something that is not true, including misconceptions about your basic personality. And yes, over time, you may believe the lies.
Your mental health will also be affected by this process, so it is important to maintain your identity no matter what is said. Know that this process occurs due to projection.
- Repeated accusations
When someone repeats accusations about you or someone you love, that doesn’t make it true. Those who project their feelings onto you often use this manipulation as a weapon. They will repeat negative things in the hope that it will make it more believable and ultimately make you more gullible.
Always keep in mind that the truth does not need to be repeated over and over again.
- Your mental health is actually worse
Unfortunately, your mental health can actually suffer when someone projects your emotions onto you. If you spend years of your life believing lies and being emotionally attacked, your self-worth will suffer.
This means you may be dealing with anxiety and depression. If you’ve already noticed a sharp decline in your mental health, think about who you’re spending your time with. It is possible that someone is projecting negativity onto you.
How to deal with projection
If you have a close relationship with someone who does projects, you may want to help them. After all, you are the primary target of their projections. And yes, you can help.
However, the amount of help you provide also depends on the mindset of your partner or friend. If they live in a fantasy world, they may not be able to accept their flaws.
And you can even project from time to time. I think we all do it to some extent. Usually, every person uses introspection to improve themselves.
Those who show their emotions are a bit different. They are afraid to look inward because they know they will see their flaws. Every person, even you and me, will need to be able to use introspection regularly to prevent projection.