I’m the type of person who doesn’t like change and prefers a set routine. I don’t like unexpected visitors, and I certainly don’t do spontaneous things. I’ve always thought this was due to my introverted and perhaps even schizoid personality. But lately, I’ve been wondering, is fear of uncertainty to blame?
I read somewhere that there is no such thing as fear. Fear is the worry that something terrible will happen in the future that has not yet happened. But if the future hasn’t happened yet, why worry about it?
As someone who has suffered from phobias over the past few decades, I can tell you that worrying in advance is a prerequisite for fear. This is exactly the anxiety that keeps you from moving forward.
It’s “what if” I get stuck in this elevator and can’t get out? “What if” I stood up to give a presentation and my mind went blank? What if I panicked on the train and couldn’t get off?
The mind is a wonderful thing, but it is also a treacherous enemy for those who suffer from panic and anxiety. The constant fear of uncertainty in a world where perfection is everything can be extremely debilitating.
What’s wrong with uncertainty?
But is uncertainty really a bad thing? How about a surprise birthday party or a chance meeting with a friend you haven’t seen in years? I think the difference is that these are good and welcome incidents. When we think about uncertainty, our minds tend to focus on the negative; On the bad things that could happen.
We can trace this back to our evolutionary roots. Humans need to know certain things so they can survive. They need to know that they have food, shelter, and warmth and that they are safe from immediate danger.
Making sure of these things makes us feel safe and secure. We feel in control of our lives. In times of uncertainty, whether it’s a pandemic, a time of financial crisis, or the loss of a job or a loved one, we feel hopeless and out of control.
Of course, some people like this feeling of uncertainty. Extroverts are more likely to enjoy taking risks and jump at the chance to jump in at the deep end, compared to introverts. They live a life without a clear structure and take pleasure in the randomness and spontaneity of their lives.
But for others, this is very painful. I count myself among those very affected. I feel anxious because I don’t know how I will cope if something bad happens. Will I collapse and end up in a mental hospital with my family and friends looking through the barred windows, shaking their heads as I stare into space?
Of course, this is unlikely to happen, but it does not stop me from worrying. My anxiety about not being able to cope is real. This worry about how I will handle bad things is what makes me fear uncertainty.
So what are the signs of fear of uncertainty?
7 Signs of fear of uncertainty
- You find it difficult to make decisions.
What do you do, stay in a toxic situation or decide to do something? Usually, a person who is afraid of uncertainty will do nothing. Why? Because at least they know what to expect in the situation they are in. Whether it’s a bad job or an abusive relationship, who can say you’ll be better off if you leave? Things could be worse. - You don’t like making changes to your routine
I’m guilty of this. I have a specific routine that I stick to every day. If something or someone messes it up, I feel anxious and stressed for days before and after. However, I am also bored with my own company, and suffer from terrible cases of FOMO. But even so, I’m not going to put myself out there and change my routine. - Don’t follow your dreams and goals.
Have you ever had dreams, but convinced yourself that this sheltered life is what you want? Have you settled for a life of compromise because you fear an uncertain future? Do you sometimes feel upset when you see others achieving their dreams? - You need constant reassurance from friends and family.
Fear of uncertainty causes anxiety. Anxious people need constant reassurance from people they love. They will want to know:
- “Am I doing the right thing?”
- “What do you think I should do?”
- “What would you do in my position?”
- You have to double-check everything.
Some people fear uncertainty so much that they develop compulsive disorders such as OCD. They believe they can control all possibilities by checking and double checking. Not only that, they think something bad will happen if they don’t keep checking. - You become a control freak.
One way to stop uncertainty is to control everything you can. She doesn’t allow co-workers to help with projects, she refuses help from family members, and everything has to be exactly how she wants it. This way you will know that nothing is left to chance. - You avoid situations where you feel out of control.
Feeling safe is like having a warm, soft blanket wrapped around you. So taking off that blanket and experiencing the cold reality of the world can be daunting. If you start avoiding situations that make you feel insecure, this is a sign that the fear of uncertainty is ruining your life.
What to do if fear of uncertainty is ruining your life?
No one can predict the future, so it is important to realize that life is full of uncertainty. When we think about uncertainty, we tend to focus on the negative, because not knowing what the future holds is scary. But uncertainty can bring good and bad things.
- You have to double-check everything.
Some people fear uncertainty so much that they develop compulsive disorders such as OCD. They believe they can control all possibilities by checking and double checking. Not only that, they think something bad will happen if they don’t keep checking. - You become a control freak.
One way to stop uncertainty is to control everything you can. She doesn’t allow co-workers to help with projects, she refuses help from family members, and everything has to be exactly how she wants it. This way you will know that nothing is left to chance. - You avoid situations where you feel out of control.
Feeling safe is like having a warm, soft blanket wrapped around you. So taking off that blanket and experiencing the cold reality of the world can be daunting. If you start avoiding situations that make you feel insecure, this is a sign that the fear of uncertainty is ruining your life.
What to do if fear of uncertainty is ruining your life?
No one can predict the future, so it is important to realize that life is full of uncertainty. When we think about uncertainty, we tend to focus on the negative, because not knowing what the future holds is scary. But uncertainty can bring good and bad things.
Think of all the times something wonderful happened to you when you least expected it. Even little things like finding your favorite sneakers on sale unexpectedly. Or you run into an old friend in town who you haven’t seen in years.
So, if you feel that your fear of uncertainty is starting to get the better of you, remember the following:
- No one can predict the future
- We all deal with uncertainty daily
- Bad things rarely happen
- What you’re really worried about is how you’re going to handle it
- Focus on what is within your control
- Stop thinking “what if”
- Focus on what is happening now – in the present
- Try not to cause a disaster
