7 red flags you’re in a relationship with a textbook narcissist

“Love is blind,” they say, and yes, it can often cloud our judgment.

Especially when dealing with a classic narcissist.

Why? Because narcissists are masters of manipulation. They can be charming, charismatic, and seemingly perfect partners—until they’re not.

Let’s get straight to the point. Here are 7 warning signs that you might be dating a typical narcissist. Recognizing these signs could be just your first step toward a healthier relationship.

1) They’re Always the Center of Attention

Have you ever noticed that your partner always seems to turn the conversation back to themselves?

Whether it’s about their accomplishments, their problems, or just random thoughts—it’s all about them.

It’s like they’re in a constant quest for attention and admiration. And it’s not just you. They act this way with everyone—friends, family, even strangers.

We all love to share our stories and be heard. But with narcissists, it’s different. It’s not about sharing; It’s about controlling the narrative.

2) Lack of Empathy

This was hard for me to recognize in my relationship. I remember there were times when I was going through a tough time and needed emotional support. But instead of being there for me, my partner would ignore it or worse, make it about them.

One particular instance stands out when I lost my job. I was feeling down and insecure about my career. But instead of empathy, all I got was a lecture about how they had also lost their job once and managed to bounce back quickly.

Their lack of empathy was astounding. They seemed unable to understand or share my feelings. It was always about their experiences and feelings.

In the past, this has been a clear sign of narcissism. If your partner consistently lacks empathy, it’s time to take a hard look at your relationship. Empathy is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship. Without it, things can quickly turn toxic.

3) They Never Accept Blame

Let’s talk about accountability. Or rather, the lack thereof.

A few years ago, I was in a relationship where it seemed like I was always the one to blame. Whenever something went wrong, my partner would find a way to blame me, even when it had nothing to do with me.

I remember that time when they missed an important meeting because they overslept. Instead of taking responsibility for their actions, they blamed me for not waking them up on time. It was confusing and frustrating.

RELATED:Why Narcissists Use DARVO: Deny, Attack And Reverse Victim And Abuser

This constant refusal to accept blame is a common trait among narcissists. They will twist and turn events to make themselves look flawless.

Take this as a red flag. A healthy relationship involves two people who can admit their mistakes and work together to fix them.

4) They Downplay Your Accomplishments

Remember that time when you accomplished something great, and all you wanted to do was share the joy with your partner? But instead of celebrating with you, they downplayed your success or tried to outdo you with their accomplishments.

I’ve been through the same thing too. I remember when I got a promotion at work, an accomplishment I had been working toward for years. Instead of being happy for me, my partner immediately turned the conversation to his career advancement.

Narcissists have a hard time celebrating other people’s successes. They feel threatened by them, especially if it diverts attention away from them.

Watch out. You deserve to be with someone who celebrates your victories, not someone who belittles them.

5) They’re Playing on You

This is a big one. Manipulation. It’s a manipulative tactic that narcissists often use to gain power and control in a relationship.

It works by making you doubt your thoughts, memories, and perceptions. The term comes from the 1944 movie “Gaslight,” where a man manipulates his wife into thinking she’s losing her mind.

In my previous relationship, I experienced this myself. My partner would dismiss my feelings, label me “too sensitive,” or completely deny what had happened. This made me constantly doubt myself and my sanity.

Trust your instincts and know that your feelings are valid.

6) They’re Overly Charming

This may sound strange. After all, charm is generally seen as a good trait, right? But hear me out.

A few years ago, I was in a relationship with an incredibly charming person. At first, I felt like I had hit the jackpot. He was charismatic and persuasive and could make anyone feel like they were the most important person in the room.

But over time, I started to notice a pattern. His charm was being used as a tool of manipulation. It would be turned on and off depending on what he wanted or who he was trying to impress.

This excessive charm is a hallmark of narcissists. They use it to attract and deceive others.

So, be careful. If your partner’s charm seems too good to be true, it probably is. Real people are consistently kind and respectful, not just when it suits their agenda.

7) They Have a Sense of Entitlement

Narcissists often believe that they are superior to others and deserve special treatment. This inflated sense of self-importance is the hallmark of narcissism.

They believe that they deserve the best of everything. Whether it’s always getting the final say or expecting constant praise, their sense of entitlement knows no bounds.

This sense of entitlement can be destructive in a relationship. It creates an imbalance, where one person’s needs and desires are prioritized over the needs and desires of the other.

The bottom line

Knowledge is power. If you recognize these signs, you’ve already taken the first step toward improving your situation.

Change isn’t easy, especially when it comes to relationships. It’s a process that requires patience, self-compassion, and often professional help. There’s no shame in seeking therapy or counseling to navigate these turbulent waters.

The goal isn’t to condemn or discredit narcissists but to better understand their patterns of behavior. This understanding will allow you to make informed decisions about the future of your relationship.

Your feelings are valid. Your experiences are valid. Most importantly, you deserve love and respect in all forms—especially from those closest to you.

Take some time to reflect on your relationship after reading this. Think carefully about your next steps. And remember, prioritizing your mental and emotional health is never a selfish act—it’s an act of self-love.

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