Raise your hand, you who hate being ignored.

I’m sure most of us have.

Being ignored is no fun – especially when you’ve done nothing wrong. Narcissists don’t see it that way…

…They enjoy being ignored. They enjoy seeing you uncomfortable and anxious. It’s like a switch has been flipped to remind them that they still have that power over you.

Yes, I know you’re thinking, “Wait, what did I do?”

In the distorted eyes of a narcissist – there’s got to be something!

Let’s see the 7 reasons why a narcissist is ignoring you.

1 They’re Bored

Oh, that’s boring. Life has become so predictable. What can I do to spice it up again?

Well, for you or me, a lot! Take a walk, go on a weekend trip, visit friends, do some home repairs… We think outside the box and no one is offended by it.

Related :Things Narcissists Will Never Do

Narcissists?

They focus on the first person who comes to mind who will buy their toys, and they get to work.

You might think that ignoring someone doesn’t take much effort, but that’s not the case with narcissists.

They try very hard to get their point across by ignoring you. It’s like they’re able to intentionally grab your attention and then walk away to prove their point.

When a narcissist is bored, they ignore the board games and head straight to their boring games instead.

The drama they crave always comes next.

2 They Want to Assert Their Control

Control is the central theme of everything a narcissist does. Beneath the unpolished exterior lie anxious, insecure souls who can’t rest until they feel like people are doing what they want them to do.

Like puppets on a string, they will move and move in the way the narcissist sees fit. Sometimes a narcissist can do this with the cold shoulder.

It’s not just coldness—it’s freezing.

If a narcissist feels like they’re losing their grip on someone, things will change quickly. Instead of this person breaking free and escaping the clutches of control, more control is piled on instead.

Isn’t it funny how this is done by ignoring you?

Well, the deeper you look into the vile cycle of narcissistic abuse, the more you understand that the act of ignoring only works if there is already a connection.

Bringing you back to yourself by not giving you the time of day will practically have you going back to them and asking them what they did wrong. How they can improve. Why they are being ignored.

A narcissist will likely wait until the last seconds before bringing you back to yourself.

3 To Manipulate You

I want to go to the movies this Friday.

I’m sorry, I can’t go. I promised my sister I’d take her out for her birthday.

I really want to go. Can’t you rearrange it?

I’m sorry, no. Everything is booked.

Please be quiet…

This isn’t punishment. This isn’t the narcissist getting angry at you for not choosing them. This is instead, “I’m going to stay quiet until you do what I want you to do.”

Related : 8 Reasons Why it’s So Hard to Leave a Narcissist

Does it work?

You’d be surprised how many times people have said this has happened to them, and how it’s worked over and over again.

The silence here acts as a sort of “thinking period” for you. “They’re upset. Maybe I can rearrange it for Saturday so everyone can be happy.”

Yes, and there you go, considering their silence. A narcissist who ignores you in order to get what they want will know that their silence works the first time you give in and do what they ask.

4 To punish you

Now that’s a different ball game. A narcissist who ignores you to punish you might look like this:

You cooked a meal they didn’t want.

You accidentally broke their favorite mug.

You watched your favorite TV show with them, without them.

Petty? Always.

Effective? Always.

Narcissists love to punish. If someone doesn’t conform to their rules or thought processes, there will be hell to pay.

Punishment will trigger an anxiety response from the other person, similar to point three.

You will apologize, profusely. You will say you’re sorry, and they may get angry with you for saying it.

I’m afraid it’s like walking on eggshells. This is what most people say when I ask them about their experiences with narcissistic abuse. They wait for the next time they are completely ignored. They begin to expect that every little thing they do is wrong or simply “not quite right.”

Related : Why Are Narcissists So Mean?

After the silence, anger usually follows, but only when it feels like it.

5 You’re in the Devaluation Phase

The Devaluation Phase of the narcissistic abuse cycle is followed by the Devaluation Phase. The narcissist is completely done with you. They have absolutely no interest in you, and they want you to know it.

This is damaging, really damaging. You will feel:

Worthless.

Low self-esteem.

Severe lack of confidence.

Confusion.

Depression.

Isolation.

Loneliness.

Your apologies will start to sound like words you use to please someone, not to explain your real regret.

The narcissist will turn off the taps as much as possible during the disposal phase. When you’re almost satisfied, they will turn them off again to keep you hooked.

People ask me how attachments form – this is how.

6 You Stop Giving Them Attention

You’re officially useless to them.

It’s not about being punished for depriving them of attention, it’s about you being useless to them.

You’ll find this primarily in friendship circles, in families, or at work. The lack of attention usually goes hand in hand with the narcissist finding a new, more interesting source. Someone new who they think is “cool,” or someone who responds to their calls.

Related : 7 Narcissist Hobbies that are Instant Red Flags

Narcissists don’t like attention. They don’t smile and say “thank you” if someone compliments them. They need attention. They’ll go so far as to forcefully extract attention from you all the time while you freely allow it.

If you refuse to let them, or don’t pander to their demands, they’ll treat you like you don’t exist.

7 They’re Afraid

If you love too much, the narcissist will withdraw.

They won’t know what to do with themselves, and the saddest part is that it all comes down to their lack of self-esteem.

It’s hard to believe that a narcissist could have such a lack of self-esteem, isn’t it? They walk around with such a grand aura that you’d never know.

In fact, they’re masters of disguise. They hide what they’re getting out of you.

If a narcissist is scared, they’ll back off and ignore you in hopes that the feelings will subside. They don’t want to feel too safe, in case everything is taken away from them.

Yes – attachment issues are back on the table.