Relationships with a narcissist are rarely smooth sailing. They may start out happy and romantic, but the tide will quickly change.

Before long, you’ll be riding a wave of intense emotion, trying to stay afloat as your ship slowly sinks.

As this relationship progresses, you’ll likely encounter many surprises. That wonderful person you fell in love with suddenly becomes cold and distant, picking fights at every turn.

During these fights, they may even accuse you of cheating. Why would they accuse you of this without evidence?

Don’t worry. A narcissist doesn’t need evidence. They have plenty of reasons to accuse you of cheating, and they don’t need to explain themselves!

Reasons for Accusations

There are a few reasons why a narcissist might accuse you of cheating. When they make the accusation, it’s likely for one of the reasons below.

Projection

This is probably the first thing you should think about when a narcissist accuses you of cheating. Narcissists can’t handle their own flaws and mistakes, so they project them onto others.

Related : 7 Narcissist Hobbies that are Instant Red Flags

This means that if they cheat, they won’t be able to take responsibility for that bad behavior. Instead, they will project it onto you, accusing you of cheating.

Deep down, they have a guilty conscience that they can’t face. They feel better about themselves when they attribute the cheating behavior to you, instead.

In some cases, a narcissist doesn’t necessarily cheat, but they may project their fears of cheating onto you. If they are internally struggling with abandonment fears, they will accuse you of cheating, even if they don’t have evidence.

AsAFormOfManipulation

Narcissists need you to be unsure of yourself so they can continue to control you. They can achieve this through manipulation, which is when they make you question your perception of reality.

Accusing someone of cheating when there is no evidence of it is a form of manipulation.

When a narcissist accuses you of cheating, you may start to wonder if you’ve done something wrong. Fearing that you’ve somehow failed as a partner, you’ll go out of your way to be particularly attentive and caring to the narcissist.

This allows the narcissist to get what they want from you. You question yourself, and you no longer trust your own judgment.

So, when the narcissist asks you to do something or convinces you that something is right, you listen. You no longer trust yourself, so the narcissist must be right.

Actually, this isn’t true, but the narcissist needs you to believe them!

Dealing with Jealousy

Envy is the narcissist’s middle name. Difficulties with envy are one of the core features of Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Narcissists tend to be jealous of others and assume that others are jealous of them, too. So, they’re completely convinced that others are jealous of their relationship.

Related : 8 Reasons Why it’s So Hard to Leave a Narcissist

This makes them anxious about other potential suitors, and that these people might lure you away.

At the same time, because narcissists are so jealous of others, they fear that anyone could pose a threat to their relationship. This means that coworkers, friends, and even acquaintances can pose a threat to the narcissist.

When a narcissist is overcome by a wave of jealousy, they may accuse you of cheating.

Hidden Insecurity

The superior facade the narcissist presents to the rest of the world is a cover for their underlying insecurities.

Beneath the charm and grandiosity, the narcissist has a fragile ego and uncertainty about their own worth as a person. Because they feel insecure, they fear they aren’t good enough for you.

Trust Issues

Narcissism is often a byproduct of a traumatic or difficult childhood. Many narcissists grew up with absent, abusive, or inconsistent parents.

As a result, they learn to believe that they can’t trust people. If they can’t trust their parents to take care of them, why would they trust anyone else?

Based on their distrust of people, narcissists are unlikely to trust their relationship partners. It’s not your fault, they just don’t trust you to be faithful to them.

When something triggers a narcissist’s distrust, expect cheating accusations to come your way.

Punishment

A narcissist would rather you not have a life outside of them and their needs. When you try to branch out and enjoy other relationships or interests, they won’t care much about it.

So, even if you’re enjoying a night out with platonic friends, or working a longer day at the office, they’ll find a way to punish you.

Instead of respecting your time and allowing you to pursue interests outside of the relationship, they will accuse you of cheating.

Related : Why Are Narcissists So Mean?

This is a form of punishment because you feel anxious and defensive. Because of how you feel, you will do everything you can to avoid this accusation in the future.

In this way, the accusation is a punishment that controls your behavior. You will now avoid doing whatever led to the accusation in the first place.

ManipulatingYou

Narcissists rely on manipulation to get what they want from you. They will accuse you of cheating as an act of manipulation.

The accusation introduces drama and tension into the relationship. It also confuses you and leads to self-doubt.

The narcissist may even convince you that harmless or innocent actions constitute cheating.

This manipulative accusation will make you feel confused and extremely vulnerable. Now, it will be easier to control you.

Since the narcissist has convinced you that you cannot be trusted, you are more likely to conform to their excessive expectations.

How to Respond

When you’re accused of cheating, your first instinct may be to apologize or admit fault. With a narcissist, that’s not the best option.

Instead, follow the strategies below.

Stay Calm

Yelling or getting upset will only escalate the situation. The narcissist may take this as a sign that you’re actually cheating.

Take a deep breath, count to ten if necessary, and stay calm.

Set firm boundaries

Tell the narcissist that you can’t accept baseless accusations of cheating. Remind them that it’s unhealthy to accuse someone of cheating without evidence.

Avoid getting into an argument

Reiterate firmly that you are not cheating and do not appreciate the accusation. Beyond that, you do not have to get into an argument with the narcissist.

Related : Things Narcissists do When They’re Jealous of You

They may try to throw some evidence at you, but you should not get sucked into this argument. Remind them that you are not cheating, and move on.

Seek Support

Continued, unfounded accusations of cheating can take a toll on your mental health. If you are struggling, there is no shame in seeking counseling to help you process your feelings.

Make Decisions About the Future

You should not tolerate repeated accusations of cheating. If this behavior continues, you may need to decide whether this type of relationship is what you want for yourself in the years to come.

You have every right to walk away from a narcissist who accuses you of cheating without evidence.