There are certain phrases manipulators use to get what they want. All they have to do is make you feel guilty, and they’re very good at it.
Manipulators use many phrases to achieve their goals. They simply exploit your empathy to create guilt if you refuse. I bet you’re already familiar with this strategy. If you have that friend who constantly makes you feel guilty about doing certain things, this list is for you.
Are you familiar with the phrases manipulators use?
First, I want to emphasize that helping people and spending time with them is not wrong, of course. The wrong thing is to be forced to do something you don’t want to do or don’t have the time for.
I sometimes feel this way when I’m asked to do social activities. Most of the time, my friends understand, but I occasionally encounter attempts at manipulation.
It’s important to understand the phrases manipulators use to avoid falling into this trap. These phrases usually revolve around psychological manipulation and other forms of deception. Here are some phrases to watch out for:
- “If you really loved me, you would…”
Have you ever heard this phrase? It’s a common tactic used by manipulators, especially partners in relationships. A manipulative partner uses love as a weapon to influence any situation. For example, if they want something in the relationship and you’re uncomfortable with it, they might use this phrase. But don’t be fooled; they just want to get what they want.
- “You’ve changed.”
Of all the phrases manipulators use, this one seems the most personal. In other words, this toxic person is saying you betrayed them simply because you changed your mind. But in reality, change represents growth, and change is a good thing.
Related : 7 Emotional Blackmail Phrases That Seem Innocent at First
So, if you tell the manipulative person in your life that you no longer want to participate in a certain activity, your decision should be respected, not belittled.
- “So, I can’t rely on you.”
First and foremost, your personal boundaries are important. So, when a manipulator acts as if you’re untrustworthy, don’t listen to them. It’s simply a tactic they’re using to get what they want.
Let’s be honest, a manipulator always wants to be right, to be seen favorably, and to be agreed with. But you have every right to refuse to participate for any reason, because asserting your boundaries will protect you both physically and mentally. Don’t give this selfish attempt any credence.
- “After everything I’ve done for you, is this how you repay me?”
Oh, I bet you’ve heard this before. I encounter this situation a lot in my life. I can even detect manipulation before the person offers me anything. If someone suddenly offers to buy me things or invite me out to eat, I’m suspicious of their intentions.
Yes, this mindset can be unhealthy, but if the person in question has a history of manipulation, it can be useful. Manipulators often go to great lengths for you to pave the way for a big favor in the near future. And if you refuse, they’ll resort to making you feel guilty by saying something like this. Beware!
- “You’re too sensitive.”
Manipulators use many phrases, but this one is particularly insidious. First, they do something to upset you, and when you react to this indifference, they twist the situation to their advantage. They play on your conscience about your anger, blaming your feelings as an overreaction, in short.
And every time they do something, instead of taking responsibility, they’ll claim you’re angry because you’re too sensitive. See how it works?
- “I remember when…”
Have you ever noticed that when you argue with a manipulator, they always bring up your past? The reason for this is likely that he feels he’s losing the argument, so he resorts to the past, specifically your mistakes, as a weapon. It’s all he has to defend himself.
The reason is that they want to make you feel guilty in the hope that you’ll give up the discussion altogether. It’s an attempt to evade responsibility.
- “Everyone agrees with me.”
Another tactic manipulators use to make you feel guilty is isolation. If they can convince you that you’re the only one who thinks a certain way, they plant seeds of doubt in your mind. And with this doubt, guilt eventually arises.
Related : Adult Narcissism and Childhood Criticism
While manipulators lie, they also try to isolate you from your friends and family. When they do this, they make you believe that your friends and family think like them, and that you don’t. Do you realize how this isolation begins? If you fall for it, you’ll feel guilty simply for having your own opinion.
Dealing With Manipulators And Guilt
While you may not be able to change a manipulator, you can minimize their impact on your life. First, don’t be fooled by their words. Remember that your personal boundaries are important, and you should never feel guilty about them. Your family and friends will eventually see through the manipulator’s tricks and realize the truth.
Whatever you do, always remember that you are valuable and important. Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty about your choices. It’s your life, and your decisions are what matter most.
Stay strong and true to yourself.
