Did you know that manipulative language can seem normal to most people? It’s true. Many of the statements we use are actually used for control, psychological manipulation, and distortion, and sometimes we’re the victims without even realizing it.
Here are some facts to get you started: We all use manipulative language from time to time. But using it intentionally and repeatedly is something else entirely.
Manipulation, at its core, is an unhealthy psychological strategy for gaining power. Narcissists use this language extensively. And it can sometimes be difficult to recognize that you’re being manipulated.
How To Recognize Manipulating Phrases
People resort to manipulation to get what they want, quite simply. They use tactics like lying, emotional manipulation, psychological warfare, blaming others, and passive-aggression. But it can be hard to notice it happening to you.
Sometimes you’re already in trouble by the time you realize what’s going on. So, here are some phrases to watch out for:
- “You’re overreacting.”
I bet you’ve heard this a lot, haven’t you? That’s because saying “to make a mountain out of a molehill” is so common.
In case you’re wondering, it’s an expression many parents use. When kids get upset, parents sometimes say it’s an overreaction. Also, when your partner is angry with you, they might use this phrase.
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It’s also a warning sign. Even though many of us have said it, pay attention to who’s using it whenever you need someone to listen.
- “If you love me, you’ll do this.”
How awful! And what’s worse, it’s so common. How many times have we heard our loved ones tell us to do things to prove we love them? I bet this has happened to you many times, and you know what? It’s unhealthy.
In fact, this kind of talk can cause significant psychological damage. And when it comes to doing something that seems impossible, it can make us feel like failures. Yet, it’s said far too often.
- “You’re exaggerating.”
The secret to this phrase is that the person saying it is often the real instigator of the problem. If someone says, “You’re exaggerating,” they’ve already stirred up trouble or started a fight, and will likely provoke more arguments and conflicts in the future.
Be wary of these words; they are simply manipulative.
- “You think you’re a saint.”
This is one of the most annoying manipulative phrases. A narcissist often shouts during an argument:
“You think you’re a saint, don’t you?”
They do this to mask the fact that they believe they are infallible and because they are unable to find a counter to their own argument.
It’s so common that we often mistake it for a normal argument. However, these hurtful words aim to belittle us and mislead us into thinking negatively about ourselves. So, we need to be aware of them.
- “It’s your fault.”
This common phrase can be difficult to put into words, but in short, a manipulator wants to shift the blame onto someone else. They claim that their actions were a direct reaction to something you did first.
For example, if you had a fight with your brother or sister, they might claim that they stole money from you because you left them uncovered. But that’s no excuse. Whatever happens or is said, you are responsible for your own actions. Using an action to justify a reaction is simply manipulative behavior.
- “Oh, I would never do that.”
Never say “impossible.” That’s what I’ve learned in life. I think everything I said I would never do as a child has actually become something I’ve done, honestly.
But this phrase becomes manipulative when a friend judges you while simultaneously pushing you to trust them blindly. The truth is, the very thing they criticize in someone else is something they themselves might have done.
- “You’re so delusional.”
Narcissists love to say this and use it as a tool for psychological manipulation. Yes, many people say this to their friends, loved ones, and family, but it’s not always innocent.
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When your partner describes you as delusional, they might be saying you imagine things or that you have delusions. In reality, you’re often just exposing their lie. Being labeled delusional is one of the most common forms of deception.
Manipulative Phrases and Your Intentions
Are you afraid of using your words? Don’t worry. Sometimes people say things without intending to manipulate. Well-intentioned people and narcissists might use the same phrases. The key is to understand the bigger picture. If someone you know uses these phrases, be wary.
There are many manipulative phrases that people consider normal, so I wanted to share some with you. It’s always important to be aware of your acquaintances, especially those close to you.
Pay attention to how they speak to you. Do they repeat these phrases often? Do they seem sincere? Use your intelligence, and you’ll be able to tell the difference.
Good luck, and be careful.
