Do you have someone with narcissistic tendencies in your life?
If you’re interested in learning how to disarm them, you probably will. It can be difficult, right?
In theory, we probably all know that narcissists are known to be bad and hurtful, and are best avoided at all costs. But in reality, it’s not always realistic to completely cut someone out of your life.
Whether it’s a family member, a co-worker, a neighbor, or even a close friend or partner, if you can’t get rid of them, you’ll need to learn how to deal with them.
With that in mind, today we’re sharing with you 7 little-known psychological tricks that will help you disarm a narcissist.
Have you tried any of these before?
Let’s get started.
1) Understand their tactics
So you want to disarm the narcissist? Well, the first thing you need to do is understand their tactics.
Don’t forget that narcissists act the way they do because it serves them, they get what they want. By understanding what they do and why, you can begin to take away their power.
Do your own research. Learn about the mind of a narcissist. It’s like knowing your opposing team’s playbook. Then you can start developing counter tactics that will actually work.
Consider this: To the untrained eye, narcissists can appear as self-centered and arrogant attention-seekers. The truth is that many people with narcissistic tendencies lack self-esteem, suffer from insecurity, and have an intense fear of being exposed to danger.
Reality is very different from perception. Truly understanding narcissists and their methods improves your chances of successfully dealing with them.
2) Don’t try to fix it
Whenever my old neighbor saw a girl dating a guy who was hard to be with, he’d say, “Well, she sure likes the project.” I later found out what he meant.
The expression refers to a woman who enters into a relationship to fix her partner instead of accepting him as he is.
This takes us to our next lesson in disarming the narcissist. Realize that “narcissism is a complex personality construct that, most scholars believe, has a number of different dimensions,” notes Psychology Today.
It’s not something that can be fixed. Nothing you can do will “cure” this person of their narcissistic tendencies.
Instead of trying to change it, focus on things you can do to deal with it and reduce its negative impact on you.
3) Take action when boundaries are broken
If you’re dealing with a narcissist, you’ve probably already noticed that they regularly ignore boundaries, right? I recently realized that one of my college friends had some narcissistic tendencies.
Let me explain: She had a habit of showing up late, I mean like an hour or so late.
On winter mornings, she would offer to take me to college, and I would gladly accept. She was going in anyway and it saved me from walking in the rain. But a pattern emerged, where she would show up 45 minutes or more late, and as a result I would miss my class.
When I told her that if she didn’t leave by 9 a.m., I would just walk so I wouldn’t miss my class, she said I wasn’t grateful for the elevator. But she promised to be on time, next time.
But it never was. The mistake I made was that even though I tried to set boundaries, I never followed through and maintained them. I took no action when I ignored it.
Everyone knows how to set boundaries with narcissists, but one of the hallmarks of narcissism is a lack of respect for other people’s boundaries, so they are likely to cross them. In this case, you must maintain those limits and take necessary action if they are exceeded. This is the key to disarming the narcissist.
Only when they realize that their actions will have consequences will you see any change in behavior..
4) Limit sharing of personal information
Most of us remember what it felt like when our best friend in high school betrayed us by telling everyone a secret we’d shared with them in confidence, right?
We end up feeling vulnerable, exposed and isolated. This is what a narcissist will do to you if you share anything personal with him. They will feel like a trustworthy friend at the time, but they will later use it against you.
Sharing personal information can make us feel vulnerable. Manipulation requires vulnerability to work well, so they will use that to attract you and build trust with you. Then, they will use what they know about you to manipulate you.
Keep your personal items to yourself. The less they know about you, the less they can mess with you.
This makes staying emotionally detached much easier, which leads us to our next trick.
5) Stay emotionally detached
Have you ever wondered how good narcissists are at manipulating the people around them?
They have a talent to attract people by playing on their emotions. Once they are able to elicit an emotional response from you, they are able to control the situation and put you where they want you.
As soon as you feel like you are justifying, arguing, defending, or explaining yourself to a narcissist you have already lost it.
The best way to combat this is to stay emotionally detached. Don’t allow yourself to get sucked into this emotional cycle. If you manage to do this, the narcissist will struggle to control the situation and will lose power.
This is easier said than done and you may need to work on your emotional intelligence to pull this off.
6) Use the “gray rock” method.
A guy I worked with a few years ago used to make me the butt of every joke. At first, I laughed but the more I did, the crueler his jokes became.
I could tell that despite his arrogant front, he had no self-respect, so instead of dismembering him in front of everyone, I decided to simply starve him of any ammunition to use against me.
She seemed as boring as possible to him. I didn’t share anything about my personal life, weekend activities or past experiences. Whenever he talked to me, even when he was being nice, I would give him as little as possible.
And it worked. It wasn’t long before he lost interest in me and moved on. I later discovered that this is known as the “gray rock” method.
Unfortunately, narcissists sometimes belittle others just to make themselves feel better. Although this is not your fault, if this is happening to you, you must take action to stop it. The “gray rock” method is a simple but effective way to deal with a narcissistic person.
7) Be crystal clear and focus on facts, not emotions
We have already touched on the fact that narcissists use manipulation as one of their dominant methods to control and get what they want.
The thing is, manipulation relies heavily on the presence of emotions to be effective. If you can remove the emotions, it will become much more difficult for the narcissist to successfully manipulate you.
but how?
Focus on the facts, not on how you feel. Think of yourself as a detective gathering evidence, the only thing that matters is the cold hard facts.
Here’s the thing: by being completely clear and focusing only on the facts, it will be much harder for the narcissist to twist your words and gain the upper hand.
Related : 10 things mentally strong people do to move on from a toxic relationship
It is a little-known trick to disarm the narcissist because most of us as humans are driven by emotion, sometimes at odds with rational behavior. It’s not easy, but if you can do it, it’s a game changer.
bottom line
We’ve all likely encountered some people with narcissistic tendencies in our lives, but knowing these tricks will help you reduce their negative impact on you.
A word of warning: It’s not easy to get the upper hand with a narcissist. It will take persistence and practice, but mastering these seven tricks the narcissist won’t influence you.
