This was the third or fourth time my friend Jared* couldn’t figure out what he did wrong with his ex-wife, Peggy*. Peggy had recently been in contact with the local police department seeking a restraining order.
Why? Well, Jared decides to hang out in front of her apartment with a playback device knowing she’s home. She ignored him, and he climbed the tree to throw a brick at her window.
He wanted her back like in that stupid movie. I called the cops.
Tada. You failed in a way that couldn’t be more dramatic.
Jared couldn’t understand what happened. In movies, the guy always gets the girl by trying hard. He knew she would want to be with him eventually if only she could see him.
Although I could go on and on about flirtation disorder, the truth is that this was one of many different stunts that demonstrated that Jared was unable to see a world that included perspectives that were not his own. He’s got the main character syndrome up the wazoo.
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What is main character syndrome?
Main character syndrome is not a mental disorder in the DSM-V, but it is a common phrase used to describe a person who thinks and acts as if he were the main character in a slightly fictional (or wild) version of his life. In other words, this is a general term for people who feel like the world revolves around them and who begin to have difficulty keeping grounded in reality.
They may be keen to construct a story that is not real or they may become immersed in the life they create digitally.
As Psychology Today points out, main character syndrome can cause a person to act like a fictional character. Depending on the connotation or who you ask, some people with main character syndrome tend to lose their grip on reality completely. However, this is not the prevailing definition.
In general, this means that you consider yourself the main character in your life and that you have an exceptionally selfish view of life.
To be honest, I’d say a lot of this is narcissism or selfishness – maybe mixed with a lot of anime. However, this is a pop culture diagnosis and I am not a psychiatrist. I just know the feeling when I see one and have my observations about what happens in life.
How do you know if someone has main character syndrome? Honestly, it depends on the definition. I’ll add clues to the most common problems I’ve seen with this particular term…
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Here are 7 harsh signs that someone has main character syndrome:
- The person in question acts and thinks like the main character in the movie
They are the hero. They are the cool kid. They’re the ones who are going to get a redemption arc because that’s what happens in the movies.
Maybe they just think they’re so special and that everyone will love them in the end.
Everyone does what they want. Sometimes, everyone comes together to celebrate one person. Everyone is usually more concerned about what they are going through than to praise others or act as a supportive figure.
So uh yes their expectations and beliefs tend to be unrealistic.
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- In most cases, they tend to try to put themselves at the center of attention
A person with main personality syndrome cannot be ignored by people, just like a typical narcissist.
Everything will be about them, their struggles, and what they do.
If the focus isn’t on them, they may end up feeling stressed or making a scene so that the attention comes back to them.
- Criticism is not something they handle well
Guys…You can’t criticize the main character! He/she/they are the people that everyone loves!!! You may not say that Superman is an idiot!
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- They portray their life (or themselves) as perfect, exciting, or incredibly unique
That’s why a lot of people on TikTok have noticed that main character syndrome tends to happen with people who have social media personalities. There is a certain urge to present yourself as perfect, popular, and cool at all times.
Some might call this “framing,” because it frames their lives in a certain way and gives them a way to control the dialogue around them. People with MCS may be exceptionally protective about how they want others to view them.
Like narcissists, they will attack and punish people who might threaten their image.
Even if there is evidence that they are the most boring person ever, a person with this syndrome will dazzle them until they become the most wonderful person ever.
Make no mistake about it, this is how they control their lives – or at least try to make it seem like they have a sense of control.
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- They lack empathy and cannot see how others might perceive their actions
Technically, this could be a feature of many different mental illnesses that are susceptible to the main personality syndrome. It could be narcissism, antisocial personality syndrome, or it could be something as simple as autism.
However, it can also be a reason why the main personality syndrome is becoming more established or worsening.
When you cannot empathize with people, you will do a lot of things that seem selfish or selfish. Why? Because you may not be able to figure out why other people are bothering you – or you may not care.
In Jared’s case, he thought his crazy gesture would go well. He couldn’t know that he would scare the girl away just because he couldn’t put himself in her place.
- A person may be obsessed with a certain media form, story series, or scene
I’ve been there, and yes, I can admit that this happens when you are abused and neglected to the point of needing to escape reality.
Unfortunately, the gross consumption of imagination has a way of distorting some people’s ability to survive on Earth.
This is often the root cause of the “awkward otaku” trope.
After a period of extreme isolation and a lot of poorly written and unrealistic bombardment, people will lose their social skills. They lose their grip on life.
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- They obsess over love interests and friendship interests, assuming it will be part of their “character development” or imagined plot line
So, I’ve been that person and I can offer some insight into that.
Their obsession is generally one that stems from several things, including the common narrative that “the guy gets the girl” or from being repeatedly told that they will have a guy to save them.
In most cases, they’ll get the hint (and feel sad) when rejection occurs. However, some people may think that a person’s rejection is not a real rejection, but rather “persuasive.” This is how well-meaning but often disastrous people like Jared end up.
In other cases, the person with main personality syndrome can end up attacking their target obsession. This can get ugly or even dangerous.
Sound like someone you know? If so, you are not alone. Part of the weirdness of our modern technology is that the conditions that would encourage Mastery Syndrome (living online, loneliness, lack of human interaction, selfish society, feeling out of control, neglect) are so common.
Unsurprisingly, this syndrome appears to be increasingly common. Fortunately, most people with main character syndrome can grow out of it—often when they finally find the group they need or enjoy the security they never had before.
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