If there’s one person who can tell you which parents are eligible, it’s former football coach Avery Crute.

Entitled Parenting and Youth Football Coach

In November 2017, a story broke from a Hollywood reporter. It shined a very dim light on parents living in the leafy suburbs of upscale Beverly Hills. But this wasn’t celebrity shaming or salacious gossip.

It was the story of outspoken New York football coach Avery Crute, his resignation and subsequent stunning attack on people he called “entitled fathers.”

Avery Crute has volunteered with the Beverly Hills Youth Soccer Association chapter for more than 15 years. The respected and beloved youth soccer coach scheduled and officiated games for 1,800 children ages 4-17.

But he resigned after he had enough of parents attending the games. He sent a scathing email to those parents explaining his decision.

“I can no longer deal with so many people who feel entitled to it. I have come to despise a lot of you, and I despise a lot of you.” Avery Croot

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So what prompted this extraordinary explosion? It was not, as some suspected, the behavior of children playing football. It was their parents.

These parents felt that their child was special. These parents felt that their children were not given enough opportunities. These parents will do anything to win.

Kroot described frequent incidents of parents yelling at opposing teams, confronting referees when they disagreed with a decision, and publicly discrediting someone when things didn’t go their way.

The last straw came for him, not when he caught a father lying about a child’s age to get him into the team, but when a mother protested a referee’s post-surgery shoes. She complained that he was not fit enough to run with the players and would have a detrimental effect on the match.

Kroot had seen enough and had enough. He could see the effect of parents’ behavior on children.

But was Coach Croat’s reaction exaggerated? Isn’t it true that kids are discovered by sports talent scouts in this type of game and go on to play in the major leagues? Yes, maybe, but Kroot has a point.

So what do competent parents teach their children?

6 Ways Parents Have the Right to Destroy Their Children

An entitled parent stunts his child’s development.
It is accepted that in order to learn something, we have to experience it. If we never experience loss, disappointment, or failure, we will not be able to develop the skills needed to deal with these feelings.

We don’t have the experience, and as a result, we can’t learn how to manage our expectations. When we are protected from negative experiences, we lose the ability to develop resilience and coping strategies.

Part of life is making mistakes, learning from them and moving forward.

Children of entitled parents have less confidence.

Surprisingly, research has shown a link between over-parenting and decreased self-confidence in young people.

You might imagine that the opposite is true. Growing up in a family where parents push you forward and boost your self-esteem may lead you to be overly self-confident as a child.

But this is not the case. Parents have the right to control any situation involving their child. Similar to helicopter parenting, the entitled parent takes things one step further. They silence their child. As such, he or she never learns to trust speaking on their own behalf.

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Children grow up with an exaggerated sense of self-importance.
This has to be the most obvious way an entitled parent will destroy their child. Children who feel special, without actually doing anything to justify this high status, will be affected mentally.

You will start to believe the hype around you, made up by your parents. You will enter adulthood with certain expectations. This may include special treatment or turning a blind eye when your skills don’t match.

The problem is that when you leave the grip of your parents, you find that the world doesn’t know who you are, has no interest in who you are, and doesn’t care either.

Parenting does not teach children to be grateful.
I often believe that the key to happiness is the ability to feel gratitude. Feeling grateful for what you have and what you can achieve. When we are grateful for the simple things in life, it brings us happiness.

When we feel gratitude, we don’t envy others’ talents, but rather we can celebrate them. We don’t have to think we are special or superior to others.

Eligible parents want their children to be extraordinary; To stand out from the rest; To get that X factor.

Children have inappropriate reactions to failure.
If you don’t have boundaries or the opportunity to fail, you will not only lack the coping skills to deal with failure, but you may behave inappropriately.

This is what Coach Crute was afraid of. Parents overreact at soccer games when things don’t go their way. What happens when a child watches his or her parents yell and scream at authority figures because they don’t agree with the outcome?

It shows the child that not only can you get away with this type of behavior, but that it gets results.

However, if you react this way in the real world, you will experience trauma. Adults are not allowed or expected to throw tantrums in order to get their way.

Entitled parents turn children into narcissists.

Have you ever wondered why we see so many narcissists these days? Could there be a link between over-parenting and the rise of narcissists? I think so.

Tout le monde doit être spécial de nos jours. Ils doivent avoir un nom ridicule qui se démarque des autres. Leurs parents leur ont dit à quel point ils étaient spéciaux. Mais en réalité, ils sont comme vous et moi.

Les gens ne peuvent plus être moyens. Ils ne peuvent pas travailler de 9h à 17h, prendre une ou deux vacances par an, avoir deux enfants et s’en contenter. Nous devons tous avoir quelque chose qui nous distingue des autres.