When we think of an alpha male, we imagine a man who is assertive, physically fit, and not afraid to express his thoughts. But sometimes, this behavior may cross the line.
There are a lot of women whose husbands’ masculine behavior takes it to a whole other level. Unfortunately, many of these wives are in denial about their husband’s behavior because, for whatever reason, they do not want to confront the issue.
The same goes in the other direction as well with alpha females and their husbands. They can cross boundaries and end up bullying the man who adores them.
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Keep in mind that this behavior is unhealthy, and may be an indicator of emotional abuse in your relationship. If you notice any of these signs, it may be time to question your relationship or leave it altogether.
Here are six signs that your husband or wife is a bully.
- They blame you for things that are not your fault.
For example, when the dishwasher breaks, they immediately attack you and assume that you are responsible, saying: “What did you do with the dishwasher?” This is not the kind of behavior you expect in a healthy relationship.
- They talk to you like you are a child.
They give you condescending and/or punitive comments like, “I want you to think more about…” or “You need to use better judgment about…” instead of addressing you as an equal. Each partnership must be 50/50; No one wants to be talked to.
- They use an intimidating tone to others when asking for help.
Let’s say you are at a restaurant with your spouse where their food is served very cold. In an offensive tone, they demand that the waiter take back their food as if the waiter ordered the chef to spoil their meal.
They respond to others as if everyone is out to get them. Again, this is not healthy behavior.
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- They tend to mock or tease children under the guise of “playing.”
Your husband or wife may think they’re just playing with the neighborhood kids, but they make unsolicited comments like, “Hey Billy, do you throw your ball like a boy or a girl?”
You can be sure Billy won’t feel good about himself on his way home.
- They criticize your personality and perhaps even your children.
When they express their frustrations, they don’t say, “I’m so frustrated!” Instead, they shout: “What the hell is wrong with you? Can’t you do anything right?”
- They suffer from “lawyer syndrome.”
What is “lawyer syndrome” anyway? It occurs when someone acquires an overly inflated sense of their ego or believes they can do no wrong.
This is commonly known as narcissistic personality disorder. Many bullies tend to fall into the narcissistic category and believe that they are smarter, more knowledgeable, or better at making decisions than anyone else.
They often suggest that you don’t know what you’re talking about or describe your ideas as stupid or invalid. Or it may make you feel unable to make decisions for yourself at all.
You deserve the best kind of love and relationship. Don’t let the bully get in the way or convince you otherwise.
