You know those annoying things you do, like being a perfectionist? Well, it can come from unrealistic expectations from childhood.

I wanted to write and draw for most of my childhood. I loved playing outside a lot too. There were a lot of things that I really enjoyed, but things were instilled in me from my parents and other family members. I now see them as unrealistic expectations. To be honest, I’ve come up with a few things myself too.

Misconceptions from our childhood

Well, here’s the thing, if you’re not careful, you can carry unrealistic expectations throughout your entire life. You will need a great deal of education, and sometimes a good friend who will give you strong love.

Here are some unrealistic expectations that we may have learned in childhood that we should probably get rid of as soon as possible.

1. The knight in shining armor lies
   From a very early age, many children read stories about knights riding horses to carry them to the happily ever after in life.

It was a story of true love, a great soulmate, and a life that conquered all loneliness. This lie contradicted itself when the children witnessed the real-life relationship between their parents, who sometimes fought or divorced.

Somehow it stayed with a lot of us anyway. We thought we wouldn’t fight like our parents, and we wouldn’t get a divorce.

I think this is one of the harshest, unrealistic expectations a child carries into adulthood. But the truth is that there are still adults my age who think so, even those who have been married at least twice. The truth is, no one is perfect, and never will be. Searching for a knight in shining armor may lead you nowhere.

2. Know your exact profession
   As children, we see adults with jobs that make them look like superheroes. So, we emulate them, and plan our future, sometimes, based on parental pressure.

Parents expect their children to become doctors, lawyers, and scientists, to name a few. They even push us toward those areas in subtle ways. My father made me play basketball because I was tall. He also had me take piano lessons just because I loved playing the piano keys.

I’m not saying you can’t be any of the things your parents suggested. What I’m saying is that we often live on these dreams for a long time, but we never do anything about them, or we secretly hate them.

Our unrealistic expectations that making certain career choices are easy and having them fall into our laps also makes our adult lives more difficult. You can’t know your exact career path when you’re a kid, it’s an unrealistic expectation. Why? Because of two small things that call for change and choice.

3. Turning 18/staying away from those horrible parents
   I remember thinking about this all the time, prompted by my mother’s story about running away from home and going out on her own. The funny thing is that when I turned 18, I moved away from my parents as well.

So why this unrealistic expectation of the future? Well, after I moved away from my parents, life became a nightmare. I wasn’t ready to escape my childhood home, which resulted in me dropping out of college several times and hurting others.

There came a time in my adult life, after my parents left, when I wanted to come home. But that was impossible. My unrealistic childhood expectations of escape have followed me throughout my life. Of course, I’ve made peace with that. So, think twice. Are you ready to leave home?

4. Live forever
   Some children have the strangest expectation that they will live forever. They sometimes watch others die around them, but they cannot comprehend the fact that they will eventually die too.

Although this is a bittersweet topic, it is an unrealistic view that many children have, and many parents never talk to their children about death. Yes, it takes time for a child to notice death, but when he does, he denies it to himself because he doesn’t understand.

In adulthood, there are still many of us who won’t be able to have a conversation about death, let alone talk to our children about it. Just like when they were younger, they are largely in denial about the fact that they are mortal.

Some people get upset if you bring up the topic of death preparations or life insurance. It’s just something they’ve never come to terms with for themselves.

5. Everyone will love me
   I hesitate to say this, but thinking that everyone will love you can be harmful later in life. In fact, it can slap you in the face during childhood too.

If you think that everyone will see that you are a kind-hearted and kind person, you are wrong. A lot of people will be judgmental, starting in elementary school. But you see, kids are resilient, and push back against judgment and rejection, sometimes well into adulthood.

The unhealthy part of this is that they develop low self-esteem and display manipulative behavior. Like adults, children who have unrealistic expectations that everyone will like them generally do whatever it takes to get people to like them.

This means being fake, ignoring their self-worth, and many other unhealthy habits. I’m sorry, but there will always be someone somewhere who doesn’t like you, and you have to be okay with that. Always be honest with yourself.

6. There is a definite structure in life
   Many of us, especially girls, are told by our parents that we should get married at a certain age, buy a house and a car within another time frame, and then have kids – yes, we should have kids.

This unrealistic expectation drilled into our heads is extremely toxic. It follows us throughout our lives, making us choose the wrong partners, buy bad houses, and have children when we may not want children.

And I will say this. We are not incomplete without children. The reason these life structure predictions are bad is because they replace our real dreams and goals.

Maybe we want these things, maybe we want some of them, and then again, maybe we’d rather live alone on an island in a tiny cat house. There is no specific structure to life; This is a lie too.

Realistic expectations create healthy adults

You see, facing the realities of life makes us better people, and if we choose to have children, it makes us better for them, too. Learning how to grow up and enjoy childhood without other people’s expectations and without living on the things we see in others is the best way to become healthy adults.

So, if you are a parent, let your child be a child. Answer questions, guide them, but please, don’t put your expectations on their lives. You’ll see that it’s better this way.