Having vampires at work can be a very stressful and upsetting experience. But, will you quit your job because of them? Of course not! Therefore, you need to learn how to deal with vampires at work and how to protect yourself from vampires at work.
The quality of our relationships affects our health. Our relationships are governed by giving and taking energy. Some co-workers and colleagues make us stronger or more comfortable. However, others suck the life out of us. Highly toxic things can make you think you’re flawed and unlovable.
You might be tiptoeing around them for fear of an explosion. Some attack with failure, blame, or shame. They might say, “Honey, you look so tired and old today” or “You’re so sensitive.” Suddenly they make you feel as if something is wrong with you.
As a physician and energy specialist, I want to verify that energy vampires roam the world and undermine our abundance. With patients and in my workshops I saw the marks of fangs and the altars they scatter. But most of us don’t know how to recognize and deal with burnout, so we treat it like unintended injury, and put up with preventable fatigue.
In The Empathy and Positive Energy Survival Guide, I discuss some of the types of drain people to watch for at work and ways to deal with them.
Related: Navigating the Unbearable: 5 Effective Strategies for Dealing with Difficult People
6 Types of energy vampires at work and how to protect yourself from them
Vampire #1: Sister Sister
Energy vampires at work squawk sister
Every time you talk to her she groans. She adores a captive audience. She’s the co-worker with the “poor me” attitude who cares more about complaints than solutions.
How to protect yourself:
Set clear boundaries. Limit the time you spend talking about her grievances. Say “no” with a smile. For example, with a co-worker, smile and say, “I’m going to think positively for the best possible outcome. Thank you for understanding that I’m on a deadline and have to get back to my project.”
With friends and family, empathize with their problem briefly, and say “no” with a smile by changing the subject and discouraging their complaints. In a firm but gentle manner, say, “I’m sorry I can only talk for a few minutes today.”
Vampire #2: The Drama Queen
Energy vampires in action drama queen
This vampire has a tendency to exaggerate small incidents in off-graph dramas. My patient Sarah was exhausted when she hired a new employee who was always late for work. One week he caught the flu and “nearly died”. After that, his car was pulled over again!. After this employee left her office, Sarah felt tired and exploited.
How to protect yourself:
The drama queen never shy away from her composure. Stay calm. Take a few deep breaths. This will help you not to fall into the trap of theatricality.
At work, set gentle but firm boundaries. Say, “You have to be here on time to keep your job. I’m sorry for all your coincidences, but work comes first.”
Related: 5 Powerful Ways To Ward Away Romantic Narcissists And Manipulators
Vampire #3: The constant talker or teller of jokes
He has no interest in your feelings. He is only interested in himself. At first, it may seem amusing, but when the talking doesn’t stop, you start to get tired. You wait for an opening to get a word in edgewise but it never comes.
Or he might get so close physically to you that he practically breathes on you. You step back, but without missing a beat, he approaches again. One patient said of a co-worker, “Whenever I notice this guy his colon spasms.” “
How to protect yourself:
Know that these people do not respond to nonverbal cues. You must speak up and interrupt. Listen for a few minutes. With a family member or co-worker, express in a neutral, non-blaming tone, “I’d like to add to the discussion, too. It would be great if you’d let me contribute.”
If you convey this without irritation, you can hear better – which is much more constructive than “Keep quiet, you’re driving me crazy!”
Vampire #4. Fixer Upper
This vampire desperately needs you to fix her endless problems – for all time. She turns you into her therapist. At lunch, you will make your office monopolize your free time. Her need nourishes you.
How to protect your energy:
Don’t become a “savior”. Show empathy, but resist offering solutions. Be supportive but tell her, “I’m sure you’ll find the right solution,” or sensitively suggest that she seek out a qualified professional for help.
Vampire #5: The Blamer
Energy vampires at work are to blame
This vampire has a sneaky way of making you feel guilty or inferior for not making things right. When my patient Mary, the book editor, sees her boss on guard; Her boss had a way of getting rid of her which was draining her energy. She always has a negative comment.
How to protect yourself:
Try this visualization. Around this person, imagine yourself surrounded by a cocoon of white light. Think of it as a protective covering that keeps you from getting hurt.
Tell yourself you are safe here. The cocoon filters negativity so it doesn’t drain you.
Related: A Narcissistic Personality Views Others as Objects
Vampire #6: Go to the evil jugular
Energy vampires at work addicted
This type takes revenge and undermines you without regard for your feelings. He says things like, “Forget about this job. He’s out of your league.” These punches can be so painful that it’s hard to get them out of your head.
How to protect yourself:
Eliminate them from your life whenever possible. For the boss that won’t go anywhere, try imagining that he puts you at a distance from him, and refuses to take poison.
If you don’t want to change jobs, realize that he is a wounded person; Try not to take his meanness personally.
Use the above strategies to deal with these types of energy vampires in your life. After that, you will have the power, not them. Limit the people who give you energy and who drain you. You can create separate lists for work, home, family, friends, and peripheral relationships.
You may decide to completely stop contacting some vampires. For those who should remain in your life, such as your boss, co-worker, or certain family members, decide what strategies to use and implement them consistently. Learning to set limits with dehydrators will protect your allergies and enhance your well-being.
