Father figure is very important for every child.
But in some cases, instead of a loving and caring father, some children get a narcissistic person who destroys their lives.
Children raised by a father with this personality disorder know all too well what it means to be sad, to think you are worthless, and to always walk on the rainy side of life.
In most cases, when these children grow up, they move away from this type of parent.
They just want to heal and start a new chapter of their lives without the man who destroyed everything good in their lives.
Without the man who beat them to emotional death and who made them lose any hope of ever being happy.
When you are raised by a narcissistic father, all you want is to get away from him.
Although it can be difficult not to contact a loved one, here are some helpful tips that can help anyone struggling to get away from their nightmare.
- Make sure your decision is firm
A narcissist is not someone you can easily mess with. These people are deceitful, and they know how to read people well.
But the most important thing about them is that they know how to make you feel bad.
So, if you want to avoid contact with a narcissistic father, you must be mentally strong in all his mind games.
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He will use whatever means necessary to get you back until he has someone to harass and suck the energy out of.
Once you decide to stay away from him, your decision must be firm. This means that nothing he says or does can ever bring you back.
No matter what he tries to do, don’t buy him because he’s just playing with you. Stand up for yourself and tell him you never want to see him again.
Show him that you have options and that you don’t plan to put up with him your whole life.
- Be prepared for a large number of calls and texts
When you tell your father that you are moving away and that you no longer want him to be a part of your life, be prepared for literally anything.
He will try to convince you that it is all in your head and that he is not guilty of anything.
He will bombard you with texts and calls, and when he sees that you are being stubborn, he will start blaming you.
He will create a scenario so good that he will be the victim in the end. But please don’t buy it.
Even if he said he would change, it would never happen. He will always be the same person who ruined your life.
He will not leave you alone, and he will ruin every moment you will feel happy. He cannot act differently because he does not know how to do it.
Make sure you block him on social media and block his messages and calls.
Avoid going to the places he goes, and if he harasses you and stalks you, do not hesitate to call the police. This is the only way to protect yourself.
- Be surrounded by people who support you
When you don’t communicate with your narcissistic parent, you will need a lot of support from people who love you.
That’s why you need to be with them as much as possible to avoid depression. While they are there, you will not doubt your decision.
You will be more certain that you did the right thing. Also, when they are around, your father will not approach you.
He will be in awe of all those people comforting you and being there for you. Remember: The narcissist only attacks when you are alone.
He does this so he can more easily brainwash you and gaslight you. But when you’re with people who love you, they won’t let that happen.
Related : 8 subtle but convincing phrases narcissists use to guilt you into staying with them
You need someone who understands everything you’ve been through and is with you 100%.
The people who stay with you during the storm are the people you need to cherish the most.
- Distract yourself
The time spent during “no contact” with the narcissistic parent will be difficult to bear. You will have to learn how to live alone or with a roommate.
You will receive a lot of calls and messages from your father, and all these things will put a lot of pressure on you.
That’s why you need to distract yourself with something. You can’t sit at home and think that everything will pass because it won’t.
If you leave your thoughts alone, you may start to doubt your decision.
Also, when he starts bombarding you with messages and calls pretending to be unwell and telling you that he is going to kill himself, you may fall for his lies.
But if you have friends who will tell you that this is just a scenario he came up with to make you two bond, you won’t have a bad reaction.
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You will stick to your decision, and will not allow it to come and ruin your life again. With the right people around you, you’ll be fine.
- Take care of your mental well-being
The stage you are going through is stressful. This is why you need to take care of your mental health.
The best way to do this is to do the things you love to do. Spend more time with your friends, exercise, enroll in a new class, start a new hobby.
Make the best use of your time because that is the only way to keep your mind sane. Learn to put yourself first because you haven’t done that your whole life.
And one more thing – while you do this, do not think that he is selfish. It’s just necessary.
It’s time to start living a life you’ll be proud of.
It’s time to show your teeth to anyone who doesn’t respect you, especially your toxic parent.
Do things that make you feel calm, and don’t waste your time on people who don’t deserve you.
Related : Five Signs that Reconciliation is Impossible
This is the only way you will get the peace you so long for.
- Accept the new life in front of you
It will be difficult at first, that’s for sure. You will think that not contacting your father is a terrible thing.
But this is just temporary. After some time without it, you will realize that you are actually alive.
You will feel happiness in your heart. Your voice will be heard. You’ll finally have all those things you’ve been craving all your childhood but couldn’t get.
You will live your life to the fullest. You will breathe with full energy.