
You’ve been waiting for this moment for a long time, haven’t you? I can tell. I can see it in your eyes, even from behind this screen.
You wanted the narcissist to experience a brutal case of revenge, and I’m here for them.
Any breakdown a narcissist feels stems from a few fundamental things. I want you to internalize each one and remember that it will eventually happen to them.
It always does.
So, let’s take a look at these six things that cause a narcissist to break down.
Are You Ready?
No one is truly ready to witness a narcissist’s breakdown. Emotional breakdowns are difficult.
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They’re painful and can radically change us as people—but what about the narcissist? They’re self-destructive, nothing more.
They’re the cause of their own pain, but they’ll never admit it.
So, being prepared for it means being prepared for anything.
Narcissistic meltdowns can look like this:
Deteriorating physical or mental health – usually accompanied by the narcissist diagnosing themselves or going to their doctor for further testing. This is to distract from the meltdown and make it seem like something else entirely.
Losing any self-control they have. Think of anger, rage, screaming, whatever might push you away once you get close to them. Again, the noise distracts from what’s really going on.
Everyone is suffering in some way. “It’s your fault!” will be heard a lot because they don’t want to admit that they dug their own pit of misery into which they’re now stuck.
Isolation. Where did they even go? They’ll make excuses, but the truth is, they’re embarrassed. They don’t want to be asked questions about what’s going on because they have none. It’s easier for them to disappear.
Let’s look at these triggers.
1 Public Humiliation or Embarrassment
This is so upsetting for all narcissists! This is the kind of thing they have nightmares about, and to make it happen, be careful.
Public humiliation or embarrassment might look like:
Giving false information in public.
Making a mistake during a presentation.
Not getting a new contract.
Tripping and falling on their butt in public.
Someone telling a joke, remark, or criticizing them in front of a crowd.
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We’re in a really rough sea, but this is where narcissists will start their meltdown.
If they’re going to be embarrassed at the end, make sure there are emotional consequences.
And I bet the first thing they’ll do is blame you or yell at you, right? Sound familiar?
Of course! They can’t stand being a target; that’s what they usually do to others, right?
2 Revealing or Shaming Them
You’ve discovered their identity deep down under that thick, sick layer of pretense. And guess what? You exposed them, or someone you know exposed them.
Finally, the tables have turned, and you’ve seen the truth emerge from the darkness of abuse. You can always count on the truth to eventually come out, but it will lead to a breakdown.
They’ll deny it until they explode with anger.
They’ll accuse you of being responsible—and maybe even the narcissist. What a joke!
Exposing narcissists is a brave act, as it often results in the loss of family members or friends.
But you know, sometimes they do it all on their own. They’re more careless than you think!
When it’s time to break down, I advise you to hunker down and let them cope with their misery on their own.
They don’t deserve help or support.
3 Don’t Be the Center of Attention
I want you to step outside of this for a moment and think about the solar system.
You have the sun, the planets, and the moons. The center of everything is our sun. Everything else revolves around it at a tremendous speed.
If I were to paint a picture of your social dynamics, I would place the narcissist at the center. Isn’t that ironic? That someone else is the “main star” in your story; your life?
If the narcissist doesn’t occupy any space, they’ll make your life hell. He hates it. It’s not just a side dish; it’s the main course.
But in reality, he doesn’t deserve that place, and he’s doing nothing healthy to maintain a good place there. Once you take him away, he’ll crumble.
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And this is the interesting part—because when you look at why, you find it’s because you don’t need him to be the center of attention. You’ve finally decided to put yourself out there, and put your priorities ahead of theirs.
That’s a powerful position, isn’t it?
4 Losing Control Over Someone
Point out the loss of control!
You put yourself first, and the narcissist makes that a real problem. Imagine being in a situation where your safety becomes an issue for someone who claims to care about you?
All those years of bullying you, making you feel stupid, and being the reason for your loss of self—and now they have the nerve to collapse because of your rejection.
The control was always yours, but you were too nice to realize you deserved it for yourself. This, coupled with your complete loss of self-worth—yes, they controlled the situation for a while.
As soon as you regain that control, the narcissist will turn and lose it.
This doesn’t have to be your permission to reclaim control. Keep your promise to yourself.
5 Seeing You Thrive Without Them
There will come a moment when you reject all the ideas the narcissist had about you and replace them with your own.
Where there was laughter at a hobby, you begin to explore it again.
Where there was a sarcastic laugh at that dress you wore, you wear it without a hint of emotion.
Where you once passed on that job opening because you were told you weren’t smart enough for it, you click and apply.
It feels great, right? Yes, it’s weird to finally make choices that align with your goals, your heart, and your self, but you do it.
And they watch from afar, devastated to see you flourish and live your best life.
6 Rejection or Abandonment
Narcissists fear rejection and abandonment. They see it as a sign that they’re unlovable or unworthy.
They hide it well, pretending to be the most influential person in the room, the most successful. If you strip away all of that, you’re left with a person who’s afraid. They hate the idea of being abandoned because it would confirm what they believe deep down about themselves—that they’re unlovable.
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Instead of being honest with themselves, they project it all onto you, which is why you lose yourself so much in their presence.
It’s time for a change. Let them have their downfall…
while you reclaim your life.