Relationships are hard, right?
They all have their ups and downs, and it’s natural for every couple to face challenges that can bring out the bad in each other from time to time.
But what if you feel like this is happening more than it should?
You might be trying to figure out whether this is normal relationship stress or something more serious.
It’s not always easy to know, but when you know what to look for, it can make things clearer.
Today, we’re exploring 6 subtle signs, backed by experts, that your partner might be bringing out the worst in you.
How many of these signs sound familiar? Let’s find out.
1) You’re losing touch with your friends
Do you sometimes feel like you used to see your friends all the time and now, not so much?
It’s quite common to spend less time with your best friends once you’re in a serious relationship. Balancing time with your partner and your friends isn’t always easy.
But there’s a big difference between catching up less often and not knowing what’s going on in each other’s lives anymore.
Friends are more than just fun, they’re an essential part of life.
Research shows that having strong friendships can make you happier and healthier, and may even help you live longer.
Being apart from your friends doesn’t just mean you have less time, it could be a sign that your partner is bringing out a bad side of you.
2) You’re Having More Emotional Outbursts Than Usual
Have you been getting angry easily, getting upset easily, or crying more than usual?
If this sounds like you and you’re having a lot of emotional outbursts, your relationship may be having a bigger impact on you than you think.
Emotions are like little signals that something needs your attention. It’s important to listen to these signals and express your feelings.
“Dealing with [emotions] and expressing them helps us feel better and improves our relationships,” says psychotherapist Jason N. Linder.
Sometimes, if your relationship is stressful and you have pent-up frustration, you may not have the opportunity to properly process your emotions.
This can lead to you being at your worst when emotions suddenly and unexpectedly come to the surface. It’s often a sign that you have some things you need to deal with.
3) You’ve been feeling bad about yourself since you got into the relationship
Relationships are supposed to be fun, supportive, and joyful, right?
When someone you love chooses you, you should feel happy. They find you attractive and enjoy your company; this boosts your self-esteem and confidence.
RELATED:If a woman is secretly resentful of you, she’ll usually use these 7 subtle phrases
But what if the opposite happens?
One sign that your partner is bringing out the worst in you is if you’ve been feeling bad about yourself since you got into the relationship.
This can happen for a variety of reasons, including unhealthy communication, difficulty resolving conflict, or a lack of emotional support.
For example, one study found that how couples perceive and handle conflict can negatively impact both partners’ self-esteem.
No matter the reason, protecting your self-esteem is crucial in any relationship.
If you’ve been feeling bad about yourself since you got into the relationship, something needs to change, and fast.
4) You criticize and show contempt for your partner
Be honest: Do you spend more time criticizing and annoying your partner than laughing and having fun with them?
Maybe when you notice something unfinished around the house, like doing the dishes or mowing the lawn, you quickly become upset and start scolding.
And it doesn’t stop there.
During an argument, you might find yourself using sarcasm, rolling your eyes, or making fun of your partner. This behavior is known as contempt.
You don’t usually act this way, but lately, you’ve been feeling so frustrated and impatient that you’re seeing this negative side of yourself more and more.
It’s a clear sign that your partner might be bringing out the worst in you. Constant criticism and contempt are serious problems.
Psychologist and researcher Dr. John Gottman even identifies these behaviors as major predictors of a failed relationship.
Being in a relationship filled with sarcasm, disrespect, and criticism isn’t healthy for anyone. It might be time to figure out what’s driving you.
5) You feel anxious and uncomfortable when your partner isn’t around
Are you starting to feel anxious or uncomfortable when your partner is not around?
Think back to the time before your relationship: Were you more independent, taking on your days and activities with confidence?
If you’re feeling more anxious or stressed when you’re alone these days, that’s a shift worth noting.
Relying too much on your partner to feel safe or happy usually means you’ve slipped into an insecure attachment pattern.
As experts point out, these unhealthy attachment patterns “can often lead to relationships that cause you significant anxiety, distress, or emotional pain.”
If you can’t seem to function well without your partner, it could be a sign that you have an unhealthy attachment pattern and that this pattern brings out the worst in you.
But don’t worry, with some time and effort, it’s possible to develop a healthier attachment pattern with your partner.
6) You’re Hesitant to Express Your Thoughts and Opinions
Falling in love is often portrayed as a magical experience, but the reality isn’t always perfect.
The truth is that being in a relationship can sometimes mean experiencing negative things like losing your sense of self.
It’s something that happens slowly, over time, which can be hard to spot, but one clear sign that you might be losing yourself is if you find yourself hesitant to talk to your partner.
Does this sound familiar? Do you often find yourself holding back your true thoughts and feelings to please your partner?
“Some people can easily lose their sense of individuality in a relationship if they tend to seek their sense of worth from the outside world,” says Samara Quintero, LMFT, CHT, a licensed marriage and family therapist.
If you’re constantly putting your partner’s happiness above your own and losing your sense of identity in the process, that’s a big sign that the relationship is bringing out the worst in you and something needs to change.
Final Thoughts
If you notice some of these signs, don’t worry too much: It’s normal for relationships to go through rough patches where we may not be at our best.
However, if you agree with most of these signs and they’re happening regularly, it’s time to step back and reevaluate your situation.
Remember that everyone deserves a relationship that brings out the best in them, not one that dulls their shine.
