We’ve all been manipulated before in our lives, and it’s part of human nature.
Children manipulate their parents, and salespeople manipulate their customers; Lawyers tampering with jurors – this is nothing new and seems fairly normal…normal to the point where it becomes destructive.
Manipulation in a relationship is even more destructive, because it can be very effective and can put your mental health at risk. For this reason, it is very important that you realize if you are being manipulated in your relationship before it is too late.
It’s not as easy as you might think because professional manipulators are often very skilled. They start with subtle manipulation and raise the stakes over time, so slowly that you don’t even realize what’s happening.
But if you know what to look for, over time you will be able to detect their manipulative ways and these are the most important signs to look for:
- You apologize for things you are not guilty of
You apologize and then suddenly think: “Oh, wait, it’s not me who made a mistake. Why should I apologize?” The worst part is that this is not the first time, and apparently not the last either.
The master manipulator will trick you into believing that you are the culprit. No matter what he did, it was always someone else’s fault, and often yours.
If you get angry at him, it’s your fault because you have unreasonable expectations. If he gets angry, it’s your fault for upsetting him.
- You feel committed
If he does you a favor, you feel obligated to repay his sacrifice over and over again. Is this really how a relationship works? Is this what it’s like to be in love? no not like that.
Even if he doesn’t say he expects you to do something in return, he will mention it when it suits him. When you two fight, you will always be reminded of the time he did something for you and this will be one of his best arguments.
- Unpredictable
He is quick to anger and you never know what state of mind he will be in. You never know when he might lash out, and you live in constant fear of that.
His mood is inconsistent and your mood becomes affected by him and even dependent on him.
- I’ve caught him lying many times
If he’s a master manipulator and you somehow caught him lying, imagine how many times he lied to you without you even noticing?
He’ll tell you everything you want to hear, and he’ll make sure you believe it. The only downside is that his actions speak louder than words and he will be exposed sooner or later.
- Change is not an option
Sometimes you know he’s manipulating you, but you know he’s a good guy and you don’t want to lose him. You know that if it changes just a little, there’s still hope.
Well, that won’t happen. It won’t happen because he doesn’t want to change. He doesn’t see the immorality of his actions and will trick you into believing the same.
- He knows all your buttons and won’t hesitate to press them…everything
You were so happy when you two just started dating because he was so interested in your life. He wanted to know a lot about you and wanted to be involved in everything.
He seems like he really cares and wants to get to know you. The master manipulator wants just that, but with the aim of quickly finding your weak points and using them if necessary.
His awareness of your feelings is off the charts, but he uses them to manipulate you, not to make you feel better.
See also: 11 Signs You’re Stuck In An Unhealthy Rebound Relationship
