Sometimes we stay for too long and try so hard to have a relationship that we know isn’t working. These types of relationships are called first aid relationships.
Symbolically, it’s just a bandage that helps keep two people together.
The things that keep everything from falling apart are so small and insignificant, and yet they are so powerful that they make people stay long after they know they should leave.
First aid relationships are very difficult to spot. Mostly because we have a hard time admitting to ourselves that we are in one.
We have to be very honest with ourselves first, admit that we are on the wrong path and see if there is still something we can do to fix things or if it is better to walk away.
If you’re in a Band-Aid relationship, some or all of the signs listed below will sound familiar:
You never know if or when you’re going to spend time together
Let’s say the weekend is approaching and you have no idea whether you will spend any time with your partner. This doesn’t seem right, does it?
You seem unable to make any plans in advance. Every idea of a date or hanging out at home comes at the last minute. Being together is not treated as a priority and that is wrong.
Couples in meaningful relationships can’t wait to see each other. When they spend time apart from each other, something seems off. Otherwise, this is a clear sign of a Band-Aid relationship.
- You think your relationship is failing when you compare it to the relationships of the people around you
You look at all the happy relationships around you and feel sorry for yourself because you’re missing out on so much.
You’re happy for your friends, of course. But you also feel sad when you see their partners making an extra effort while your partner is unable to even lift a finger.
Comparisons are never a good idea, but the moment you start making them is the moment you should admit to yourself that you are not satisfied with your relationship.
- You are exhausted and no longer have the willpower to work on repairing your relationship
You have felt like you have been hitting a brick wall for a long time and you seem unable to find a solution to the problems or dissatisfaction you feel in your relationship.
You’ve talked things over with your partner more times than you can count. You make promises that you will do your best. You both stick to your words. You are making the effort.
But in a few days everything will be back to how it was. They’re back to their old ways and you’re sick and tired of being the only one trying.
Eventually, you’ll stop trying altogether. You see it doesn’t make sense. So you’re in that relationship with no hope of actually being happy in it.
- You truly believe that any relationship is better than none
Be open and honest with yourself first. You fear being alone so much that you truly believe that being in a bad or mediocre relationship is better than being single.
Being single is not always easy, but it has many perks that you don’t see now. If the fear of being single is the only thing keeping you attached to your partner, then you have become a typical example of someone in a Band-Aid relationship.
- Turn love into a habit
This is especially true for those long-term relationships that seem to continue even though they are not effective.
People in long-term relationships are so used to each other that they cannot even imagine anything else. They fear everything else.
The feeling of being in love is a distant memory, they are living the life of roommates, all the chemistry and sexual tension have gone out the window and all that’s left is a feeling of familiarity.
When a person spends too much time on something that is wrong for them, they start to feel wrong because they have forgotten what it was like when everything was okay.
So, if you find yourself in a long-term relationship that is going nowhere and doesn’t make you happy, don’t regret the years you invested in it.
De toute façon, cela prendra des années. Si vous restez trop longtemps, le bandage qui vous unit se détachera et votre relation connaîtra inévitablement une fin compliquée.
- Vous aimez le potentiel de votre relation, pas ce que vous avez actuellement
Vous ne vivez pas dans l’instant présent. Le moment actuel de votre relation n’est pas celui que vous souhaitiez ou dont vous rêviez.
C’est pourquoi vous avancez rapidement dans votre esprit, vers un moment dans le futur où tout redeviendra génial. Où votre relation représente tout ce dont vous rêviez et plus encore.
Ce n’est pas réel. Votre refus de faire face à l’état actuel de votre relation vous fait croire que tout s’arrangera miraculeusement à l’avenir.
Il y a de fortes chances que ce ne soit pas le cas. Les choses resteront les mêmes. Il est probable que les problèmes que vous rencontrez s’aggravent avec le temps. Si le problème ne peut pas être résolu, la meilleure chose à faire est de partir et de trouver votre bonheur ailleurs.
