Wherever you call home, it’s a place of safety, relaxation, and most importantly, love. However, for many, home does not fit this brief. Does being at home fill you with a feeling of constant dread and anxiety? Do you live in an environment where you have to step on eggshells every day for fear of upsetting or angering someone else in your household? Is your living situation making you feel trapped and hopeless?
If the answer is yes to any of these questions, you are likely emotionally exhausted from living with a narcissist. Sometimes living with someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder isn’t what society leads us to believe, so I wanted to create a post that provides concrete examples. If you notice any of the behaviors of the person you’re living with, it may be time to start planning a quiet exit.
Arguments from nowhere
Life is full of drama and difficult situations, but if you live with a narcissist, even the most mundane topics of conversation can turn into a full-blown disagreement. In healthy relationships, it’s possible to ask the person you live with about everyday household matters, such as whether they put the trash out for collection or emptied the dishwasher.
On the other hand, people with narcissistic personality disorder will view these questions as a potential personal attack due to their fragile sense of self. The narcissist may respond to you as follows:
“No, I haven’t put the trash for collection yet. You can go and put the trash away now. I don’t know why you always have to start attacking me.”
In this scenario, it is human nature to start justifying your question, which has sparked a huge disagreement. However, the narcissist has no real intention of listening to you because he is now too preoccupied with the feelings of worthlessness triggered by the contact.
Living with a narcissist will leave you increasingly confused over time as you examine whether you are making multiple arguments. Typically, the longer the relationship lasts, the more frequent these conflicts become. Since the narcissist cannot communicate with any degree of emotional maturity, your only real option is to walk away.
Saying sorry constantly
In a desperate attempt to maintain what little peace remains, living with a narcissist will have you constantly apologizing. When you logically look at what exactly you’re apologizing for, it’s not entirely clear.
Like a grouchy toddler, a narcissist has no interest in talking through disagreements like adults; He or she is unable to do so. The narcissist feels a wave of triumph as he punishes you with his bad mood as he gains a sense of control. Since the narcissist experiences a feeling of being out of control on the inside, this external control over others brings an immediate sense of relief and acts as compensation.
Related : What Do Narcissists Hate? 7 Things They Can’t Stand
After everyone in the house is trapped by walking on eggshells, he ends up doing whatever it takes to make the person with NPD a little bit happier. Finding yourself emotionally exhausted from living with a narcissist is not at all surprising, unfortunately.
Feeling anxious, depressed, or numb
Are you usually a relatively calm, content, and happy person, but since your current living environment, you have found yourself feeling and acting out of character? Do you feel somewhat disconnected from the person you once were? Have you developed a panic attack problem? You may be living with a narcissist.
People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder have the unique ability to erode their character, boundaries, and spirit due to the significant emotional abuse the narcissist inflicts on his or her victim.
Furthermore, if you are highly empathic, you may internalize the narcissist’s feelings and experience them as if they were your own. The narcissist’s default emotional state is one of numbness, emptiness, and devoid of warmth and love. It is essential to be able to distinguish between your emotions and the narcissist’s.
Lack of care and attention
Whether you are romantically involved or otherwise with this person, you feel that he or she is somewhat indifferent towards your needs. Day after day, you are neglected and feel like this person does not see you as a human being.
Living with a narcissist will routinely make you feel undervalued and invisible. Talking about it never seems productive, and you’ll find yourself accused of being demanding and needy. Over time, your self-worth diminishes, and you begin to feel unlovable, even if you know, objectively, that is not the case.
Strange behaviors
I went to a social event with this person, and he was charming, energetic, and engaging. But once you return home, that character disappears. He is replaced by a monosyllabic, uninterested, and seemingly blank person. He or she may slide down in front of the television, refusing to communicate for hours on end.
Living with a narcissist is, for the most part, an unpleasant experience. Sometimes, you may find yourself trying to reason with an angry person who, unexpectedly, stares at you with dark, puffy black eyes that have an otherworldly quality. You start to realize that you’re not quite sure what kind of person you’re dealing with and feel nervous as a result.
I’m trying to make you jealous
While you are trying to build a strong relationship with this person, it seems that he has a different plan. Living with a narcissist means that this person seems to be in direct competition with you even though they are behind closed doors. Whether the narcissist talks enthusiastically about their ex or constantly praises a family member or friend’s accomplishments, this is a strategic move designed to make you feel inferior. The narcissist does this to exert control and inflate his incredibly low self-esteem.
Don’t fall into the common trap of trying to learn how to get over a narcissist. People with this personality disorder want you to take the bait and play psychological games with them in their nightmare hall of mirrors. Reacting to the narcissist’s mistreatment of you allows him to point the finger and paint you as the abuser. The narcissist will relish the opportunity to tell everyone via smear campaigns about your terrible behavior. They enjoy the ability to appear as a victim, as in their warped minds, this entitles them to special treatment.
Narcissists want you to be jealous because they always feel envious of everyone else around them. Narcissistic individuals will never admit this fact to you, no matter how hard you push them. You will find yourself completely emotionally exhausted from living with a narcissist unless you get wise to their psychological terror tactics and start piecing the puzzle together for your sanity.
Living with a narcissist when leaving is not an option
There is no doubt that living with a narcissist when leaving is not an option is one of the most difficult situations to navigate. You may find yourself in this place for financial, logistical, or sometimes emotional reasons. At this point, you may have seen the narcissists for what they are and are busy doing everything you can to survive.
How do you deal with a narcissist in this life situation? Accept that the narcissist cannot give you any positive affirmations you need in life, such as love, reassurance, and comfort. It’s time to turn inward and practice becoming a generator of self-love. Congratulate yourself on the fact that you’re coping with it all, and plan to spend some time outside when possible. Remind yourself that you are valued by many others, and meet those people whenever you can. The dark energy that radiates from a narcissist may affect your mental and emotional health, so remember to treat yourself in every way possible so that you find yourself in easier times.
Related : Do Narcissists Know They Are Narcissists?
Unfortunately, living with a narcissist when leaving is not an option is a situation that many find themselves navigating. In this scenario, build your self-esteem and support network as best you can so that your escape plan becomes viable if this is the right option for you. Forget learning how to get over the narcissist or finding similar solutions. There are no winners when it comes to narcissists, and you will only wear yourself out trying to get to the top.
FinalThoughts on Living with a Narcissist
Living under the same roof with a narcissist will bring all your fears to the forefront – and that’s exactly what he or she wants. It is important to realize, and begrudgingly accept, that you cannot tell the narcissist he or she is wrong, which makes honest communication nearly impossible.
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