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Are you a fun person? Do you have a fear of letting people down? Well, you’re not alone in this area, but there are ways you can improve.
Should we care what others think? Well, sometimes we should. But the truth is that we can never please all the people all of the time. This is impossible.
However, there are those who have a terrible fear of disappointing others. They want to be loved and accepted, and when they fail, it is almost unbearable. Is this you?
Do you have an unhealthy fear of letting people down?
Yes, we should strive to be our best selves, but we will make mistakes. We’ll also make choices that make some people angry with us.
I’ve learned this throughout my adult life, and it’s not an easy lesson. I hated letting people down. But the thing is, it cannot be avoided 100%, and this applies to everyone. Are you that person – are you obsessed with pleasing people? Here are some pointers that may help you see the truth.
- The desire to be loved
If you addressed the real person inside you, would you say that you have a strong need to be loved? Is it necessary to be loved by everyone, and doom if only someone hates you? If so, you are suffering from letting people down.
You want to be accepted and needed by everyone. You also don’t like these people to see your faults because that might lead to some kind of alienation from you. This is not healthy and striving to get everyone to agree with you will lead to mountains of stress.
- Apologizing a lot
People-pleasers will say they’re sorry for things they didn’t even do. What’s more, they will apologize again and again, as if their apologies will ensure that no one will turn against them.
If you’re apologizing even when something is clearly not your fault, you’re trying too hard not to be seen as a failure. Perhaps there is not even anyone who thinks this way. It’s just part of what’s ingrained in your personality. But it can be changed. This is the good news.
- Being untrue with yourself
First of all, it is not normal for you to agree to everything someone says or offers you. Sometimes, the right choice is to say “no.” I’ve seen a lot of people say yes when they don’t really feel like doing things or agreeing to things they really hate. The look on their faces usually reveals the truth.
Do you find yourself doing things or agreeing to things that you would rather not do? If so, you are afraid of letting others down, but you are not being true to yourself, which is much worse. This behavior can negatively affect your physical and mental health. So, it has to stop, and you have to be honest with yourself.
- Burdened by others
Lately, has your life been a series of doing this and that for everyone? Are you taking care of a sick relative? Helping a friend move? Do you babysit other people’s children? Worse still, are you doing all of these things in a small period of time?
If so, you may be burdened by the needs of others and neglecting your own. This is one of the most prominent signs that you are afraid of disappointing people. This is also a sure way to shorten your life.
It’s a serious thing to think about, and you may want to put an end to it as soon as possible. Helping people is good, but when that act of charity turns into self-destruction, it’s better to let people hate you.
- Compromising your core beliefs
I didn’t learn the importance of standards, beliefs, morals, etc. until my mid-40s. I know this is kinda late. But when I did, I realized that most people don’t care about your boundaries as much as you do. Listen carefully.
You should definitely discover your core beliefs and stick to them as closely as you can. Now, I’m not saying that compromise is bad. No, that’s great.
But if your standards and morals are compromised just for the sake of pleasing someone else, that’s where you draw the line. This is where you let them hate you and be done with it. Do you sell yourself to please others?
- Imitating others
I have watched young men and women change who they are to fit the person they love. I’ve seen this happen even among friends who have this fear of letting people down. For example, if you hate soccer, please don’t pretend you like it just to gain someone else’s approval.
Imitating others and the things they like shows that you are afraid of letting people down. why is that? Because you think people will like you better if you are more like them.
Ultimately, this is not true, and in the end, the truth about what she really likes and what she doesn’t like will be revealed, making things worse. I’ve done it, trust me.