Toxic people are very common and can be found anywhere. Therefore, it is important to recognize the signs of toxic people in order to distance yourself from them before it is too late.
In fact, we almost certainly all have one in our lives—the grumpy co-worker, that gossip aunt or the really pessimistic friend. But before we discuss the signs of toxic people and ways to deal with them, what exactly is a toxic person?
A toxic person is exactly what they sound like: they are someone with extremely stressful behavior and an unpleasant attitude, with toxic effects on those around them. In other words, it does not have any positive effect on the lives of others. By contrast, they make everything miserable and can never be satisfied, no matter how hard they try.
All hope is not lost, though — once you identify them, there are ways to safely deal with (or better yet, avoid) a potentially toxic person.
Here are six signs of toxic people that will help you spot those around you:
- They lie
Not just a white lie here or there (which is a wake-up call in itself), but these guys are serial liars. You cannot tell which of their words are true and which are not. They lie in every possible way – including withholding or altering information as well as outright lying.
And the disturbing part is that they hide their lies behind so much charm that it can make you start to question your own judgment.
- They are selfish
They think only of themselves and speak only of themselves. They rarely avoid talking or worrying about others because they don’t really care. They will easily use and manipulate you for their own selfish needs, without regard for your position.
Unfortunately, appealing to them won’t make a difference either because it never works.
- Drama follows them
To the untrained eye, these people seem downright unfortunate — they get robbed, scammed, or their pet always gets lost. But is all this really happening, or are they overdoing it and enjoying the attention? Are they motivated by the sympathy they get?
Perhaps it is their constant attention to negativity that draws them into such situations.
Whatever the reason, it’s secondary to the fact that they thrive on drama. This is one of the most telling signs of toxic people.
- They don’t speak kindly of others
Toxic people always focus on what they don’t like about others – and then move on to talking about it. Repeatedly. It is rare for them to admit anything nice about others.
Don’t let their words influence your judgment or shape your opinions. They will likely say a lot about you behind your back, too.
- They are always the victim
They love to blame others for any inconvenience or problem they have. Taking any responsibility is the last thing they want. - They should always be right
What they think and feel must be the truth, and they will not settle for anything other than that. They will argue and fight their point of view until you give in because the very idea of them being wrong is inconceivable. They have the ability to take their arguments too far – even in court.
If you come across one, it’s best to let it go. Common sense and logic do not work here.
If the signs of toxic people sound like someone in your life, here are some tips on how to deal with them:
Don’t believe them. That is, keeping them at arm’s length from you and only sharing a bare minimum, depending on your involvement with this person. Keep in mind that in your absence, they are likely to repeat what you say, and you can be sure that they will distort it in a negative way.
be polite. Don’t stoop to their level. In the end, you will emerge from the situation as the wiser and more respected party.
Stay firm. Don’t be a doormat or pushover. Stick to your standards and the prospect of toxic people reluctantly accepting that you won’t be moved.
