When the gaslight is turned on, there is a great risk that it will start a devastating fire in your own home of peace.

Your reality is being taken, distorted, and denied in a distorted attempt by the narcissist to manipulate you and assert their power and dominance.

Gaslighting can be subtle and subtle, and learning to spot those moments when you are trying to justify yourself is the key to regaining that power.

But why do narcissists love gaslighting? What do they gain from it? Why is it a common game and tactic that narcissists use?

I want to dig a little deeper today, skipping the “what” and getting straight to the “why” because I believe that once you know, it will be life-changing.

1 To Gaining Absolute Control

Let’s start with the most obvious –

Narcissists love control.

They feel best when they are in the driver’s seat, making sure everyone dances to the beat of their drum.

They will go so far as to snatch everyone’s drums and deny their existence, to the point where you might agree, even if you once carried them yourself.

The control that comes from distorting or even completely changing your reality confirms their ability to pull the strings.

Once they have control—as far as the narcissist is concerned—the world, and you—are their oyster.

2 To Weaken Your Identity

Imagine a beautiful ice sculpture. It’s been carved to perfection, detailed and intricate, and everyone admires it.

Related : Things Narcissists Will Never Do

Now, imagine the narcissist coming in with a chisel and hammer, and slowly but surely starting to chip away at the sculpture. Little by little, piece by piece, the sculpture begins to resemble something entirely different, and loses its original identity.

Well, I hate to say it, but narcissists do the same thing, albeit emotionally, to their victims.

Every time they get a chance to manipulate you, they retreat again. Over time, your reality, your identity, your values, and your beliefs become things you don’t even realize.

They undermine you, and they enhance themselves. They keep you tied down by telling you they care and love you, which confuses you more than anything else.

How can someone love you if they strip you of your identity and make you feel lost and confused?

The truth is – they don’t love you. They love what they do to you instead, because it makes them feel good.

3 To Confuse You

Any form of emotional manipulation is designed to make you doubt your reality. For example, you might be having a conversation with someone, and they tell you things like:

It didn’t happen that way.

Don’t be so sensitive.

You have no right to feel that way.

Are you okay? You sound like you’re saying some really weird things.

These comments are designed for one thing, and one thing only – to make you doubt yourself.

If a narcissist is making these accusations against you, the narcissist will love watching you squirm through your scowl, while watching you question your reality in real time, right before his eyes.

In fact, the narcissist will love this so much that he will mentally remember what really works for you, so that he can use it to confuse you even more next time.

4 Telling People “You’re Crazy”

There is no sweeter moment for a narcissist than when he tells others that you’re crazy.

If they’ve gotten you to the point where you can’t think clearly for yourself, he won’t hesitate to say things like:

Oh, you know, I don’t know what’s going on with them. Their minds are all over the place right now.

I don’t really know where I stand with them. One moment, they’re clear about one thing, and the next, they seem to be completely different. It’s annoying.

They weren’t sure what you wanted for your birthday, so I thought money was the best idea.

They might comment like this to you or behind your back, but it really just makes you look unsure so people start looking at you differently.

It sounds like a really cruel ploy, and it is, because what do you expect?

If you look this way, the narcissist looks like the sane one!

Related : Things Narcissists do When They’re Jealous of You

They’ll love knowing that they’re annoying you this way because they’re trying to make you look good. Narcissists can never be seen as bad—remember that!

5 They Really Enjoy the One Thing They’re Good at

If a narcissist wrote down a list of things they’re good at, it wouldn’t be a long list.

It would also hurt others because nothing would be filled with compassion, love, or genuine kindness.

When narcissists engage in emotional manipulation, they are in their element. They have probably spent years and years perfecting the sick craft of confusing others and distorting their idea of ​​reality.

And why? To crown themselves the king or queen of emotional manipulators?

Well, you know why? According to the narcissist’s wrapped mind, they don’t care, because they are so good at messing with other people’s minds that they truly believe it is a trait worth having.

They think this way because they know that emotional manipulation gets them something in return. There is always something in it for narcissists, so somehow, they must be good at it, right?

6 Hiding Their Fears

Narcissists hate their outward appearance, so they wear masks to hide their fears.

I find it amazing that many people, when they learn about narcissism, are surprised that narcissists are actually some of the most insecure people on the planet, but it’s true.

Narcissists use manipulation as a way to distract themselves from how insecure they feel. They do this by devising ways to confuse you and make you paranoid, until you start to feel just as insecure as they do.

Related : Why Are Narcissists So Mean?

The difference is that you can’t hide your insecurities—you leave them out in the open—and you discuss them with the narcissist.

This makes them feel amazing.

Not only do they not have to think about themselves, they also see you writhing physically and emotionally in discomfort.

This is pure joy for the narcissist!