Are you tired of attracting narcissistic partners? Well, there are some psychological reasons why you might be a magnet for toxic relationships.
Why do we attract toxic relationships? Well, it’s hard to say for sure, but we tend to create a subconscious pattern.
One of the most common ways narcissistic partners are attracted is to fall into the rapid attraction or love phase. By the time we fall into this interface, it is usually too late to back out so easily.
It takes a lot of work to get out of this place, and while we’re doing it, we’re bombarded with love again, making it even more difficult. But let’s go back.
Why do we attract toxic relationships?
If we can recognize the unhealthy aspects of others, we can stop the relationship from the start. Or, at least, if we can spot the toxic behavior in the first couple of months, we can back up quickly and set ourselves free.
To do this, we must understand some important things about ourselves. Why are we attracted to toxic people in the first place? Here are some reasons.
- Family history
If you happen to grow up in a dysfunctional family environment, you see things differently than those who didn’t.
For example, it may seem natural to be drawn to arrogance. It can be easy to fall in love with someone who ghosts you every now and then because you were used to the silent treatment as a child.
It seems that your past and your situation can attract toxic relationships because the things you experienced as a child now seem like normal feelings. In fact, you can send positive feedback to narcissistic individuals that you are the type to accept their abuse.
- Your sincere sincerity
It is always good to be honest and loyal. However, toxic people see this and are attracted to it. Why?
Because they know you’re the type to give anyone the benefit of the doubt. And if that’s the case, the narcissist has a good chance of getting into a relationship with the honest person and getting rid of all their lies.
Yes, the honest person will eventually find out, but by then, the damage is already done. If you are an honest person, once you recognize toxic behavior, stop giving information about yourself. The narcissist likes to collect information and use it against you.
- You are a good listener
Again, this is a great feature. But for a toxic person, this trait means they can talk about themselves and brag all day. Since you are such a good listener, you just love to take in what other people have to say and be supportive of them.
When you are in a toxic relationship, you see someone you care about as needing your support and then you keep listening to their problems. It takes time to realize how you were taken advantage of, and when you see the truth, it will feel like the worst betrayal.
You will then have to set limits on how much you get from this toxic person to stay mentally healthy.
- A non-confrontational personality
If you are not confrontational, then you are uncomfortable with the conflict. You’d rather stab yourself in the toe than talk about a situation that’s bothering you. The fact that you hate confrontation is noticed by the toxic person, and they use that to their advantage.
You may attract toxic relationships because of your peaceful disposition. The narcissist knows that you will be reluctant to say no or to argue with them about things. But this is exactly what you should do.
When you notice that you are being taken advantage of, you should practice saying “no” and expressing how you feel about things regardless of the conflict. This may be difficult, but it will help you maintain your safety and self-esteem.
- Insecurity
If you have a lack of confidence, this can show. Sometimes you can cover up this insecurity enough that most people don’t notice it, but toxic people can smell it.
Your body language, such as holding your head down, fumbling your fingers, and speaking in a low voice, will show your low self-esteem. This is attractive to narcissistic people because this lack of confidence gives them the edge they need to use you.
When you get into a relationship that is unhealthy and lacks trust, it can be a disaster. While your partner lies, deceives and insults you, it will be difficult for you to stand up for yourself.
You may start to believe all of these things and become submissive to this toxic person. If you ever feel a whiff of your power, get out.
- Very cute
Goodness and kindness are what the world needs. Unfortunately, it also feeds the toxic individual. And most people want to be nice, but in our hardened world, we tend to cultivate the stamina of spirit to protect ourselves. Those who are still trying to be nice and gentle are targets for narcissists.
Empaths, for example, seem to attract toxic relationships the most. This is because the other partner in the relationship tends to be a narcissist.
You see, toxic people see empathetic people as something that drains their strength. They know empaths are nice, and they use this to screw things up, say hurtful things, and gaslight. I’ve experienced it, and seen it many times.
Protection from toxic relationships
Well, it won’t be easy, but there are ways to avoid toxic relationships. First of all, know who you are. Learn to be kind and strong at the same time.
Don’t let your past direct your future. See the present as having nothing to do with the past, if possible. Give but make sure you give as much to yourself when needed. And if you struggle with insecurities, by all means stay away from relationships until your self-love improves.
Relationships aren’t all bad, but unfortunately, it’s easy to get into toxic unions and not know it until months later. So, be careful, look out for the red flags, and feel free to refer back to any of our articles here on Learning Mind.
When I was younger, I went through a lot, and I wish I had the information I have now. Have this post handy and when you think you may be getting too close to a toxic person,
