Are you tired of attracting narcissistic partners? Well, there are some psychological reasons why you attract toxic relationships.

Why do we attract toxic relationships? Well, it’s hard to say for sure, but we tend to create a subconscious pattern.

One of the most common ways to attract narcissistic partners is to fall into the rapid attraction or love bombing phase. By the time we fall into this façade, it is usually too late to easily retreat.

It takes a lot of work to dig our way out of this place, and as we do that, we get bombarded by love again, which makes it even harder. But let’s back up.

Why are we attracted to toxic relationships?

If we can discover the unhealthy aspects of others, we can stop the relationship from the beginning. Or, at least, if we can spot the toxic behavior in the first couple of months, we can quickly step back and free ourselves.

To do this, we must understand some important things about ourselves. Why are we attracted to toxic people in the first place? Here are some reasons for this.

1. Family history
   If you grew up in a dysfunctional family environment, you see things differently than those who didn’t.

For example, it may seem natural to be drawn to arrogance. It can be easy to fall in love with someone who tends to ghost you every now and then because you were used to the silent treatment during childhood.

It seems like your past and situation can attract toxic relationships because the things you experienced as a child now seem like normal feelings. In fact, you can send narcissistic individuals the feeling that you are the type of person who will accept their abuse.

2. Your sincere honesty
   It is always good to be honest and sincere. However, toxic people see this and are drawn to it. Why?

Because they know you’re the type to give anyone the benefit of the doubt. If so, the narcissist has a good chance of entering into a relationship with the honest person and getting away with all his lies.

Yes, an honest person will eventually find out, but by then, the damage has already been done. If you are an honest person, once you recognize toxic behavior, stop giving away information about yourself. The narcissist loves to collect information and use it against you.

3. You are a good listener
   Again, this is a great trait. But for toxic people, this trait means they can talk about themselves and brag about their humility all day long. Since you are a good listener, you like to absorb what others have to say and be supportive.

When you are drawn into a toxic relationship, you see someone you care about who needs your support, and so you continue to listen to their problems. It takes time to realize how you were taken advantage of, and when you see the truth, it will feel like the worst betrayal.

You will then have to set limits on how much you get from this toxic person to stay mentally healthy.

4. Non-confrontational personality
   If you don’t like confrontation, it means you are uncomfortable with conflict. It’s better to stab yourself in the toe than to talk about a situation that’s bothering you. The fact that you hate confrontation is noticed by the toxic person, and they use it to their advantage.

You may be drawn into toxic relationships because of your peaceful disposition. The narcissist knows that you will hesitate to say no or argue with him about things. But this is exactly what you should do.

When you notice that you are being taken advantage of, you should practice saying no and expressing how you feel about things regardless of the conflict. This may be difficult, but it will help you maintain your sanity and self-esteem.

5. Insecurity
   If you have a lack of confidence, it can show. Sometimes, you can hide this insecurity enough that most people won’t notice it, but toxic people can spot it.

Your body language, such as keeping your head down, fumbling with your fingers, and speaking in a low voice, will show low self-esteem. This is attractive to narcissistic people because this lack of confidence gives them the advantage they need to use you.

When you get into an unhealthy relationship that lacks trust, it can be a disaster. When your partner lies, deceives, and insults you, it will be difficult for you to stand up for yourself.

You may also start to believe all of these things and become subservient to this toxic person. If you get a whiff of your power, get out.

6. Very cute
   Goodness and kindness are what the world needs. Unfortunately, it also feeds the toxic individual. Most people want to be kind, but in our harsh world, we tend to develop a toughness of spirit to protect ourselves. Those who still try to be nice and kind are targets of narcissists.

Empaths, for example, seem to attract toxic relationships more than others. This is because the other partner in the relationship tends to be narcissistic.

You see, toxic people see empaths as something that drains them of their strength. They know that empaths are nice, and they use this to get away with it, say hurtful things, and gaslight. I’ve lived it, seen it many times.

Protection from toxic relationships

Well, it won’t be easy, but there are ways to avoid toxic relationships. First of all, know who you are. Learn how to be gentle and strong at the same time.

Don’t let your past guide your future. View the present as unrelated to the past, if possible. Give but make sure you give just as much to yourself when needed. And if you’re struggling with insecurities, stay away from relationships until you get better at loving yourself.

Relationships aren’t all bad, but unfortunately, it’s easy to get into toxic unions and not find out until months later. So, be careful, look for red flags, and feel free to refer to any of our articles here about the Learning Mind.