If you’re reading this, you’ve already begun to question certain aspects of a potential or current relationship. Friends and family members may point out signs that are difficult to cope with.
Below I’ve compiled a list of some immediate signs of an abusive relationship. If any of these indicators speak to you, you should slow down the relationship and re-evaluate your facts.
- Move quickly
One sign that an abusive relationship is forming before it begins is that the other party will push things to move more quickly than usual. Your potential partner will act intense from the start; They may move more quickly in trying to spend the night with you or even suggest that you move in together soon after you start dating.
If you’re bothered by the fast pace at which they move, this is likely a warning sign.
- Jealousy
The abuser will make it clear early on that he or she has a jealous streak, far beyond what is healthy. This will escalate and may include relationships from your past that are long gone. There may also be stalking-type behaviors, such as monitoring your home, checking your phone, and asking about social media posts. Extreme jealousy is not healthy and is a sign of many other problems.
- Control of money
The abuser often wants to control all aspects of the money, even if he doesn’t make it himself. They may expect you to foot the bill for everything; However, when you want to spend money on something, they may control it or simply prevent the purchase altogether. This control will eventually extend to other areas of the relationship (and your life) as well. More on that in the next tip.
- Isolation
Another sign of an abusive relationship is that the abuser wants you to spend less and less time with family and friends, which ultimately isolates you from these people completely. The more your family and friends point out these behaviors, the more likely your partner will try to control your behaviors and actions.
- Blame
An abuser will always blame others for their actions, never accepting responsibility for what they caused. This is especially true for disagreements with people in public places, and even when they get into trouble with law enforcement.
The stories they tell you at any point in their lives will blame everyone else involved for what happened; They often complain that people are out to get them and take advantage of them. This will be the case across the board and will include all times they have made a mistake.
- Confusing comments
Finally, another sign of an abusive relationship is called “gaslighting.” This is a method of mind control where the abuser confuses the victim by leading them to believe that everything is their fault and that if the victim changes and does things the way the abuser wants, everything will be better. Not only is this untrue, but it sets a precedent for further mental and emotional control and abuse; Unfortunately, these forms of control often lead to physical abuse.
However, just because someone doesn’t hit you doesn’t mean you’re not being abused.
If some or all of these signs of an abusive relationship are present in your current or contemplating relationship, you need to make plans to end it now.
