Introverts are known for their strange behaviors that often confuse others. There are countless articles on the web describing weird introverted behaviors and habits, and yes, I have to admit, I’ve written quite a few of them myself. 🙂 But there is not much information about the actual motives behind these behaviors.
You see, some introverted things make perfect sense to them but not to others. And most of the time, these things have to do with the way an introvert’s brain works. We’re not trying to stand out or get attention by acting weird – we just want to keep ourselves comfortable in our cozy introverted shell.
Here are some strange behaviors any introvert will recognize, and the unknown reasons behind them:
Not answering phone calls and pretending you’re not home
I recently got a question on Quora about how introverts don’t like talking on the phone. And it got me thinking about the real reasons behind my misunderstood phone phobia.
Yes, most introverts avoid talking on the phone or at least prefer other types of communication. The sound of a ringing phone or doorbell can be really scary when you are not expecting any calls or visitors. And it comes down to the concept of sacred personal space for all introverts.
Getting a call from a stranger or seeing an unexpected visitor at your door is like someone invading your secret temple of peace and solitude. It is as if someone is threatening the perfect harmony of silence and privacy that you have created. And an introverted person would do anything to protect their sacred private space, so they’ll avoid these types of situations at all costs.
Introverts also need time to analyze and think about a situation in order to come up with the best answer. This is why we prefer written communication over speaking. It gives us the necessary time to think and express our thoughts in the best way possible. The phone call does not give us this privilege.
2 Avoid making phone calls
The situation when you need to make a phone call can be even more terrifying for introverts. Sometimes it can take you 20 minutes or so to find the courage, sort your thoughts, and dial that phone number. Why do introverts struggle with making phone calls so much?
In general, introverts don’t like unexpected results, which is why we feel uncomfortable coming into contact with strangers or people we don’t know very well. After all, you never know where that phone conversation is going to go, right?
Introverts also tend to rely on nonverbal communication, which includes body language, facial expressions, and other behavioral nuances. In fact, we are very good at reading people and spotting small inconsistencies in their behaviors, which reveal inauthenticities and lies. So it makes sense that not seeing the person we’re talking to doesn’t help at all. The introvert will feel as if a very important element of connection is missing.
Hide from neighbors or acquaintances on the street
Let’s be honest with each other. How many of you, fellow introverts, have acted really strange at the sight of an old classmate or classmate passing by? You may have hidden behind a supermarket shelf or covered your face, pretending to be coughing. Likewise, before leaving the house, you may have checked the peephole and curtains to make sure that the neighbors are not around.
Why would an acquaintance make introverts so uncomfortable? The answer is simple – we don’t like forced conversations. Introverts value meaningful communication with like-minded people they can trust. So having a friendly chat filled with small talk topics and awkward questions is not our thing at all.
Introverts want to talk when they really have something to say, not because unwritten social rules require them to. This is why we dread meeting a classmate who might ask us uncomfortable personal questions or a friendly old neighbor who is always up for small talk.
4 using really weird defense mechanisms
Some of the ways introverts defend themselves from the outside world can include some really weird behaviors. Some examples include wearing headphones even when we’re not listening to music or hiding in the bathroom. All of this is intended to protect us from unnecessary social interaction.
For example, if you wanted to ask someone for directions, you’d be less likely to direct your question to someone wearing headphones, right? Introverts know this all too well, so it’s just another way to protect their sacred personal shell.
As for the bathroom, introverts use it as a sanctuary while at work or a social gathering. Not just talking but just being around other people for a long time can be very stressful for us. So we need to take time to recharge our energy levels. This is why spending a few minutes in the bathroom helps us isolate ourselves from the outside world and thus restore our energy in the short term.
5 Pretending to have plans but just staying home
Another strange behavior that every introvert is known for is declining an invitation, saying you have plans. But in reality, you just need to stay home alone to watch a movie, do something creative, or read a book. Every introvert at some point in his life realizes that it is easier to say that he has plans with other people than to explain why they enjoy being alone at home rather than some social event. This has a direct connection to the way the introvert’s brain works.
It depends on a neurotransmitter called acetylcholine while the brain of an extrovert depends on dopamine. Dopamine is involved in the functioning of the pleasure and reward centers in our brain. It makes us notice and chase external rewards, for example, social contact, active sports, or adventures. This means that because introverts do not rely on dopamine release, they find social interaction less beneficial than extroverts.
For this reason, introverts find quiet, solitary activities more rewarding, such as a walk in the park or reading a book. This explains why we often prefer staying at home to going to a party – we simply know we’ll have more fun that way.
