If you find yourself repeatedly attracting narcissists, you’re probably starting to feel exhausted. In relationship after relationship, you’ve been lied to, taken advantage of, and made to feel like you’re going crazy.

After a while, you may start to blame yourself. If this sounds like you, give yourself some compassion. While you’re not responsible for suffering from narcissistic abuse, you can take steps to protect yourself from people who are damaging your mental health.

The truth is, if you’re repeatedly attracting narcissists, you may have certain traits that make you attractive to them. Instead of completely changing yourself to avoid narcissists, you can build on your strengths and heal your inner wounds so that you only attract people who have your best interests at heart.

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The truth is, once you become the best version of yourself, you’re unlikely to care about narcissists anyway. You’ll only want to spend your time and energy with people who truly care about you and who consistently love and care for you.

NarcissistBreakdownTips

So, what should you do to keep narcissists out of your life? The tips below can help you get started. Remember, you’re not responsible for people treating you badly.

By following these tips, you’re simply taking the initiative to protect yourself from people who want to take advantage of your kindness and honesty.

1 Set firm boundaries

Narcissists love to violate your boundaries because they don’t think they have to respect them. They see the world through one lens: their own. A narcissist feels entitled to take advantage of you, so they don’t particularly care if you’re annoying them.

If your boundaries are weak, narcissists are more likely to continue to harass you. Once they realize that you’re someone who will give in to their every demand, they’ll continue to approach you.

On the other hand, if you set firm boundaries and stick to them, narcissists will be turned off. Consider this example: You go on a date with someone who’s a narcissist. After the date, they text you constantly, demanding your attention.

If you set firm boundaries and explain that you can’t be available to text 24/7, they’re more likely to leave you alone. They’ll move on to someone easier to control.

2 Watch for Red Flags

Narcissists can fall for you easily, especially early in the relationship. During the love bombing phase, they’ll shower you with attention and compliments, making you feel like you’re the center of their universe.

Remember, this is part of a cycle that begins with love bombing and progresses to the narcissist devaluing or dumping you. Recognize the love bombing phase as a warning sign, not falling madly in love.

If someone moves on quickly in the early stages of a relationship, this is just one of several warning signs that you’re dealing with a narcissist. If you notice other warning signs, such as arrogant behavior, exaggerating accomplishments, and expecting you to always be available to them, it’s time to cut ties.

Once you learn to recognize these warning signs, you’ll be better equipped to recognize and avoid narcissists.

3 Engage in Self-Care

Being with a narcissist can be exhausting. If you’ve been around a lot of narcissists, you’re probably exhausted. You’ve probably put your own needs aside for so long that you’ve forgotten what it means to put yourself first.

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When you’re working to remove narcissists from your life, self-care is essential. Make time to relax, pursue hobbies you enjoy, and take care of yourself by exercising regularly and eating a nutritious diet.

By taking care of yourself, you’ll learn to appreciate who you are, rather than always putting others first. Make self-care a habit, and you’ll have no time for anyone who doesn’t respect your needs.

4 Treating Codependent Behaviors

Narcissists often find themselves in relationships with people who exhibit codependent behaviors. Narcissists naturally want to take care of and nurture others, so they won’t see anything wrong with a demanding narcissist.

Spending all of their time and energy meeting the narcissist’s needs feeds the narcissist’s self-esteem and gives them a sense of self-worth. Unfortunately, narcissists also end up feeling resentful, as they pour all of their energy into the narcissist while neglecting themselves.

Take a look at your relationship patterns. Do you tend to be in one-sided relationships, where you do most of the work? Do you spend a lot of time trying to solve every problem your partner has? Do you sometimes feel like you’re a parent rather than a partner?

If you answered yes to most of these questions, you likely have codependent tendencies. Now is a good time to change this behavior, especially if you want to avoid narcissists.

To recover from codependency, you need to think about yourself. This may seem strange to you, but it’s healthy. Think about what you need from the relationship, and don’t settle for anything less. Make your opinions, preferences, and needs known early in the relationship, and don’t feel guilty for expressing your own needs.

Relationships shouldn’t be one-sided, and your needs should be met, just as your partner’s are. When you stay true to who you are, you’ll turn off narcissists who are simply trying to take advantage of you.

5 Consider Therapy

Breaking out unhealthy patterns of behavior can be difficult. If you’ve repeatedly attracted narcissists, you may be rooted in codependent patterns, or repetitive relationship dynamics that you experienced in childhood.

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For example, if your parents had an unhealthy marriage, you may believe that the dynamics that occur in narcissistic relationships are normal. Additionally, if you were abused or traumatized as a child, you may have negative views of yourself, which can lead you to accept abuse in relationships.

If you struggle with unhealed childhood wounds or another mental health issue, a therapist can help you move toward healing.

Therapy sessions allow you to explore the dynamics that may be contributing to unhealthy relationships, and they are a safe environment to build skills, such as being assertive and setting boundaries.

Therapy can help you reframe negative thoughts, build confidence, and boost your self-esteem. The skills developed in therapy will prepare you for healthier relationships where you can express your needs and walk away from abusive situations.

Moving Away from Narcissists

The strategies discussed here allow you to prioritize your own well-being rather than continuing to submit to narcissistic behavior. Taking care of yourself, setting boundaries, and learning how to identify narcissistic traits will make you less likely to attract narcissists in the future.

Remember that you deserve fulfilling relationships where you are treated with respect and kindness. A relationship with a narcissist is unlikely to meet your needs. Now is the time to break unhealthy patterns, as they are preventing you from living your life to the fullest.

If you are struggling to heal on your own, there is no shame in seeking treatment. Relationships with narcissists can take a toll on your mental health, and you may need professional support to recover.